CHARLES Hello, It m here to maybe buy something off a wedding list.
ASSISTANT What’s the name, sir?
CHARLES It’s Hartnell, I think, or Banks.
ASSISTANT Banks, o yes, sir, we have a Banks. Lovely list.
CHARLES Could you tell me some prices?
ASSISTANT Certainly, sir – there are some beautiful things about the £1000 mark.
CHARLES Yes, I was thinking about something more like, well, 50.
ASSISTANT So, you’d like to buy three knives and a fork?
CHARLES That’s what I get for 50 quid?
ASSISTANT Yes – for £51 you get two knives and two forks – but we don’t want to
smash through your budget barrier. Or you could have that ceramic leopard over there …
CHARLES Ah, excellent, that’s more like it.
ASSISTANT If you can find someone to chip in £11,950. Or our carrier bags are £1.50 – you could just get 33 of them.
CHARLES Actually, I think I’ll leave it. Thanks very much. You’ve been very helpful.