I’ll start
What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle uranus looking for Klingons.
I’ll start
What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle uranus looking for Klingons.
kryten said:
I’ll start
What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle uranus looking for Klingons.
A-a-a-a-n-n-n-d-d i think we see why FF faded away.
How many general-relativity theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.
What does Alinta Gas have in common with a cormorant?
they can both stick their bill up their arse.
goodo
rubs hans
JudgeMental said:
goodorubs hans
Is Hans ok with that?
captain_spalding said:
JudgeMental said:
goodorubs hans
Is Hans ok with that?
Hans needs a bumpsy daisy.
captain_spalding said:
kryten said:
I’ll startWhat do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle uranus looking for Klingons.
A-a-a-a-n-n-n-d-d i think we see why FF faded away.
PMSL at spalding.
Fun ways to die:
1. Falling out of bed
2. Tripping over a mouse
3. Trampled by a rogue whale
4. Torn to pieces by teenage fans
5. You remember the Monte Python scene, chased off a cliff by topless women in sports gear
6. Killed by a jealous tiger
7. Check back for an answer when I reach 250 years old
8. Medical science needs an essential part of my body
9. In a wingsuit over a volcano
10. Decompression sickness on the way back from planet Venus
11. They’re going to name a new sexually-transmitted disease after me
12. Hit by a falling rocket booster
13. In a motorcade in Dallas
14. Guillemot, no wait, guillotine
15. Trampled by a herd of okapi
16. Filming lemmings
17. Overeating on banknotes
18. Minimata disease
19. Progeria
20. Maniacal laughter
21. Shame
22. In the next ice age
23. By my own nuclear bomb
24. Netflix addiction
25. By travelling faster than the speed of light
26. Finger cuffs
27. Juggling chainsaws
28. Overdose of placebos
29. Ricin
30. Hit on the head by a falling tortoise
31. Killed by a malfunctioning toilet
32. Assassinated by a poisoned toothpick
33. Trapped under a dead elephant
34. Eating an entire pear tree, including the roots
35. Hypochondria
36. Crushed by a coffin I was helping to carry
37. Hailstones
38. Drowned in a vat of brandy
39. Sleep walking at work
40. Crashed in pursuit of an unidentified flying object
41. Spontaneous combustion
42. Eating a polar bear liver
43. My significant other suffocates me to stop my snoring
44. Killed by a falling cactus
45. Stabbed by raw spaghetti
46. Hit in the neck by a beetle while riding a motorbike
47. Ball lightning
48. Beaking the distance record for flying – in a tornado
49. Poisoned by deodorant
50. Paper cut from a sudoku
51. Sunburn
52. Exploding lava lamp
53. Exploding chair
54. Backing a segway over a cliff
55. Choking during a cockroach eating contest
56. Bitten by a quokka
57. Hit by a cow falling through the roof onto my bed
58. Strangled by underpants
59. Run over by a 4WD that a horse is driving
60. Killed by a statue
61. Getting my head stuck in a rabbit hole
62. Struck by a heavy pinecone thrown by a squirrel
63. Run down by a self-driving car
64. Suffocated by dry ice thrown into a swimming pool
65. Eating too much licorice – potassium depletion
66. By a donkey
67. After breaking into a zoo to swim with a killer whale
68. Fast food chains go out of business
69. Quicksand
mollwollfumble said:
captain_spalding said:
kryten said:
I’ll startWhat do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle uranus looking for Klingons.
A-a-a-a-n-n-n-d-d i think we see why FF faded away.
PMSL at spalding.
Fun ways to die:
1. Falling out of bed
2. Tripping over a mouse
3. Trampled by a rogue whale
4. Torn to pieces by teenage fans
5. You remember the Monte Python scene, chased off a cliff by topless women in sports gear
6. Killed by a jealous tiger
7. Check back for an answer when I reach 250 years old
8. Medical science needs an essential part of my body
9. In a wingsuit over a volcano
10. Decompression sickness on the way back from planet Venus
11. They’re going to name a new sexually-transmitted disease after me
12. Hit by a falling rocket booster
13. In a motorcade in Dallas
14. Guillemot, no wait, guillotine
15. Trampled by a herd of okapi
16. Filming lemmings
17. Overeating on banknotes
18. Minimata disease
19. Progeria
20. Maniacal laughter
21. Shame
22. In the next ice age
23. By my own nuclear bomb
24. Netflix addiction
25. By travelling faster than the speed of light
26. Finger cuffs
27. Juggling chainsaws
28. Overdose of placebos
29. Ricin
30. Hit on the head by a falling tortoise
31. Killed by a malfunctioning toilet
32. Assassinated by a poisoned toothpick
33. Trapped under a dead elephant
34. Eating an entire pear tree, including the roots
35. Hypochondria
36. Crushed by a coffin I was helping to carry
37. Hailstones
38. Drowned in a vat of brandy
39. Sleep walking at work
40. Crashed in pursuit of an unidentified flying object
41. Spontaneous combustion
42. Eating a polar bear liver
43. My significant other suffocates me to stop my snoring
44. Killed by a falling cactus
45. Stabbed by raw spaghetti
46. Hit in the neck by a beetle while riding a motorbike
47. Ball lightning
48. Beaking the distance record for flying – in a tornado
49. Poisoned by deodorant
50. Paper cut from a sudoku
51. Sunburn
52. Exploding lava lamp
53. Exploding chair
54. Backing a segway over a cliff
55. Choking during a cockroach eating contest
56. Bitten by a quokka
57. Hit by a cow falling through the roof onto my bed
58. Strangled by underpants
59. Run over by a 4WD that a horse is driving
60. Killed by a statue
61. Getting my head stuck in a rabbit hole
62. Struck by a heavy pinecone thrown by a squirrel
63. Run down by a self-driving car
64. Suffocated by dry ice thrown into a swimming pool
65. Eating too much licorice – potassium depletion
66. By a donkey
67. After breaking into a zoo to swim with a killer whale
68. Fast food chains go out of business
69. Quicksand
our ideas of fun are vastly different

Arts said:
our ideas of fun are vastly different
I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.
What do you get for winning a muscle loss competition?
Atrophy.
My parents are old fashioned. When I was a boy they wanted me to play football.
And when I was a girl they wanted me to see a psychiatrist.
After the recent commissioning of HMAS Supply, a new uniform has been released for the Navy.
Rule 303 said:
After the recent commissioning of HMAS Supply, a new uniform has been released for the Navy.
![]()
talk about the bare necessities…
It was a really exciting Autopsy Club last night; it was Open Mike night.
What do you call someone who always states the obvious?
Someone who always states the obvious
monkey skipper said:
Rule 303 said:
After the recent commissioning of HMAS Supply, a new uniform has been released for the Navy.
![]()
talk about the bare necessities…
For a ship named “Supply” you’d be expecting a bit more than just the bare necessities.
party_pants said:
monkey skipper said:
Rule 303 said:
After the recent commissioning of HMAS Supply, a new uniform has been released for the Navy.
![]()
talk about the bare necessities…
For a ship named “Supply” you’d be expecting a bit more than just the bare necessities.
Such an uninspiring name…
furious said:
party_pants said:
monkey skipper said:talk about the bare necessities…
For a ship named “Supply” you’d be expecting a bit more than just the bare necessities.
Such an uninspiring name…
Yes, an opportunity missed for a interesting name. maybe something aboriginal, say for Supply, or somesuch.
JudgeMental said:
furious said:
party_pants said:For a ship named “Supply” you’d be expecting a bit more than just the bare necessities.
Such an uninspiring name…
Yes, an opportunity missed for a interesting name. maybe something aboriginal, say for Supply, or somesuch.
Indeed…
furious said:
party_pants said:
monkey skipper said:talk about the bare necessities…
For a ship named “Supply” you’d be expecting a bit more than just the bare necessities.
Such an uninspiring name…
Supply McSupplyface?
JudgeMental said:
furious said:
party_pants said:For a ship named “Supply” you’d be expecting a bit more than just the bare necessities.
Such an uninspiring name…
Yes, an opportunity missed for a interesting name. maybe something aboriginal, say for Supply, or somesuch.
Bringtherumalong?
Bringabottleback?
Forgotthebagsagain?
Colesaldiworth?
Dingerbringer?
do they look like they’d be quite supple
I s’pose these days the modern Navy would need a Vegan supply ship (Whykillamoocow), a lactose intolerant supply ship (Leavethecheeseathome), a nut allergy supply ship (Nonutmoreseamen) and a Pescetarian supply ship (Bringabarraback).
SCIENCE said:
do they look like they’d be quite supple
something sutler would be better though.
JudgeMental said:
furious said:
party_pants said:For a ship named “Supply” you’d be expecting a bit more than just the bare necessities.
Such an uninspiring name…
Yes, an opportunity missed for a interesting name. maybe something aboriginal, say for Supply, or somesuch.
‘Flour, sugar and tea’
PermeateFree said:
JudgeMental said:
furious said:Such an uninspiring name…
Yes, an opportunity missed for a interesting name. maybe something aboriginal, say for Supply, or somesuch.
‘Flour, sugar and tea’
And limes…
I kinda wasn’t going for a stereotypical bogan view for an aboriginal name.
JudgeMental said:
I kinda wasn’t going for a stereotypical bogan view for an aboriginal name.
I don;t know any aboriginal languages to contribute any ideas.
A lot of indigenous people object to their languages being used for such purposes.
“While the Royal Australian Navy takes many of its naming principles from customs handed down from the Royal Navy, its early recognition of Australia’s first inhabitants is something all serving members can be proud of.
“Today a variety of fleet units can be found carrying Indigenous names and the long-standing tradition of incorporating the boomerang, crossed axe and club in all of the Royal Australian Navy official unit badges is a further demonstration of this close connection,” Mr Perryman said.
In the RAN fleet today the Anzac Class frigates HMA Ships Arunta (II) and Warramunga (II) are named for Aboriginal people, while Ballarat (II), Parramatta (IV) and Toowoomba (II), commemorate places with Aboriginal naming origins.
Arunta is the second RAN ship to carry the name of the Arrernte Aboriginal people (also spelt “Arunda” or “Aranda”) located in central Australia.
Warramunga’s name is from the Warramunga (also spelt Warumungu) Aboriginal people from the Tennant Creek area.
The first Arunta and Warramunga were Tribal class destroyers of British design, with other ships of the class being named for various other Indigenous groups.
Of the Armidale Class Patrol Boats, Larrakia (II) is named for the Larrakia Aboriginal people of Darwin, in the Top End of the Northern Territory. The first Larrakia was a Darwin based patrol vessel during World War I, HMA Ships Wollongong (III) and Bundaberg (II) also have names of Aboriginal origin.
Link.
kryten said:
I’ll start
What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle uranus looking for Klingons.
What’s white but can come in any colour?
Captain Kirk
party_pants said:
JudgeMental said:
I kinda wasn’t going for a stereotypical bogan view for an aboriginal name.
I don;t know any aboriginal languages to contribute any ideas.
ar fuk
there I was thinking Warramunga’s was one such name
as it sounds like what you might call a battle ship: Warmongers
PMSL at btm. ALL funny.
I’ve been thinking about chemistry euphemisms.
The way they call it “mineral wool” rather than “synthetic asbestos”.
And they way they call it “unleaded petrol” rather than “petrol with additive top secret heavy metal”.
You all know of the following food product euphemism I take it.
The way they call it “canola” rather than “rape oil”.
mollwollfumble said:
I’ve been thinking about chemistry euphemisms.The way they call it “mineral wool” rather than “synthetic asbestos”.
And they way they call it “unleaded petrol” rather than “petrol with additive secret heavy metal”.You all know of the following food product euphemism I take it.
The way they call it “canola” rather than “rape oil”.


JudgeMental said:
ah corporate sponsorship and product placement what a wonderful thing
Rule 303 said:
furious said:
party_pants said:For a ship named “Supply” you’d be expecting a bit more than just the bare necessities.
Such an uninspiring name…
Supply McSupplyface?
The Wellerman?

Arts said:
author: if you have 3 of them together it means it doesn’t end
people who menstruate: …
Me: “Onion rings and a bottle of wine . . .”
Waiter: “White or red?”
Me, trying to impress my date: “Whichever onion the chef prefers.”
This one is actually on the wikipedia site for pteropoda.
A pteropoda is not the love child of theropoda and pterosaur.
mollwollfumble said:
This one is actually on the wikipedia site for pteropoda.A pteropoda is not the love child of theropoda and pterosaur.


mollwollfumble said:
mollwollfumble said:
This one is actually on the wikipedia site for pteropoda.A pteropoda is not the love child of theropoda and pterosaur.
Well that’s getting a bit more adventurous.

ChrispenEvan said:
¿ so these are secretly the chaps who will be responsible for sweeping industrial, economic and social improvement over the next 200 years ?
ChrispenEvan said:
Good to see the Enlightenment people have much neater desks, too.
twenty oneth century.
SCIENCE said:
ChrispenEvan said:
¿ so these are secretly the chaps who will be responsible for sweeping industrial, economic and social improvement over the next 200 years ?
There’s a serious intellectual deficit on the conservative side of Western culture.
Conservatives love to whine about how they’re under-represented in the universities etc.
But when you look at the intellectual calibre of the regimes, ideas and policies they endorse, there’s really no conspiracy involved.
They’re just dangerously full of shit these days.
Bubblecar said:
SCIENCE said:
ChrispenEvan said:
¿ so these are secretly the chaps who will be responsible for sweeping industrial, economic and social improvement over the next 200 years ?
There’s a serious intellectual deficit on the conservative side of Western culture.
Conservatives love to whine about how they’re under-represented in the universities etc.
But when you look at the intellectual calibre of the regimes, ideas and policies they endorse, there’s really no conspiracy involved.
They’re just dangerously full of shit these days.
Neither the far left nor the far right are intellectual positions.
party_pants said:
Bubblecar said:
SCIENCE said:¿ so these are secretly the chaps who will be responsible for sweeping industrial, economic and social improvement over the next 200 years ?
There’s a serious intellectual deficit on the conservative side of Western culture.
Conservatives love to whine about how they’re under-represented in the universities etc.
But when you look at the intellectual calibre of the regimes, ideas and policies they endorse, there’s really no conspiracy involved.
They’re just dangerously full of shit these days.
Neither the far left nor the far right are intellectual positions.
I’m not talking “far”, I’m talking standard offerings. Trump was the everyday face of the Republican Party and was closely linked with all kinds of weirdo bullshit.
Scomo is a Hillsong tongue-speaker with close weirdo family friends and his Coalition includes various Trump fans and other outright nutjobs.
Blojo heads a party of cranks and psychopaths.
Bubblecar said:
party_pants said:
Bubblecar said:There’s a serious intellectual deficit on the conservative side of Western culture.
Conservatives love to whine about how they’re under-represented in the universities etc.
But when you look at the intellectual calibre of the regimes, ideas and policies they endorse, there’s really no conspiracy involved.
They’re just dangerously full of shit these days.
Neither the far left nor the far right are intellectual positions.
I’m not talking “far”, I’m talking standard offerings. Trump was the everyday face of the Republican Party and was closely linked with all kinds of weirdo bullshit.
Scomo is a Hillsong tongue-speaker with close weirdo family friends and his Coalition includes various Trump fans and other outright nutjobs.
Blojo heads a party of cranks and psychopaths.
They are “far” AFAIAC. My “centre” does not shift based on the relative position of various parties. One of the points of the scale has to fixed.
party_pants said:
Bubblecar said:
party_pants said:Neither the far left nor the far right are intellectual positions.
I’m not talking “far”, I’m talking standard offerings. Trump was the everyday face of the Republican Party and was closely linked with all kinds of weirdo bullshit.
Scomo is a Hillsong tongue-speaker with close weirdo family friends and his Coalition includes various Trump fans and other outright nutjobs.
Blojo heads a party of cranks and psychopaths.
They are “far” AFAIAC. My “centre” does not shift based on the relative position of various parties. One of the points of the scale has to fixed.
Then you agree with me that many “normal conservatives” these days are likely to be anti-intellectual weirdies.
, said Tom at length.
Bubblecar said:
party_pants said:
Bubblecar said:I’m not talking “far”, I’m talking standard offerings. Trump was the everyday face of the Republican Party and was closely linked with all kinds of weirdo bullshit.
Scomo is a Hillsong tongue-speaker with close weirdo family friends and his Coalition includes various Trump fans and other outright nutjobs.
Blojo heads a party of cranks and psychopaths.
They are “far” AFAIAC. My “centre” does not shift based on the relative position of various parties. One of the points of the scale has to fixed.
Then you agree with me that many “normal conservatives” these days are likely to be anti-intellectual weirdies.
Yes. The conservative side of politics these days are way out of sync with my expectations, and the sort of party I would vote for.
btm said:
, said Tom at length.
could do with some workshopping, for example prefaced with an orientating line “instructed to recite a list of standard calculus operators on a function,”
Good Morning everybody.
It’s a chilly 15.5°C here, with 80% RH. Also, it’s clear with a light air. BoM tells me to expect 25°C and that there’s little chance of rain, although the radar shows rain around.
Agenda? Spray garlic chives (the white oil emulsion didn’t work properly yesterday, so I had to wait for it to settle before I can use it). Washing up. Breakfast. Pack car. Drive to Brisbane. And then you won’t see me for a few days.
But first:
C…o…f…f…e…e…
lol
Sigmund Freud
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Jump to navigationJump to search
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This page has some issues
Can we have a Friday Funnies sticky in the top menu?
Tau.Neutrino said:
Can we have a Friday Funnies sticky in the top menu?
Bookmark it like everyone else.
Rule 303 said:
Love the look on her face.
roughbarked said:
Rule 303 said:
Love the look on her face.
We all get that look the first time you try a B7 chord.
Rule 303 said:
roughbarked said:
Rule 303 said:
Love the look on her face.
We all get that look the first time you try a B7 chord.
I still get it. It is a lovely chord but not the easiest to play.
apparently albert einstein was a real person and here’s me thinking he was just a theoretical physicist.
ChrispenEvan said:
apparently albert einstein was a real person and here’s me thinking he was just a theoretical physicist.
ha. :)
ChrispenEvan said:
apparently albert einstein was a real person and here’s me thinking he was just a theoretical physicist.
:-)
ChrispenEvan said:
apparently albert einstein was a real person and here’s me thinking he was just a theoretical physicist.
:)
I just discovered that the word “nothing” is a palindrome…
Backwards it spells “gnihton”, which also means nothing.
Arts said:
I just discovered that the word “nothing” is a palindrome…
Backwards it spells “gnihton”, which also means nothing.
:) I cackled, if that helps.
Saw a microbiologist today. They were a lot bigger than I expected.
They told me I wouldn’t be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic
But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely.
ChrispenEvan said:
Saw a microbiologist today. They were a lot bigger than I expected.
Pairs nicely with the Einstein joke
ChrispenEvan said:
Saw a microbiologist today. They were a lot bigger than I expected.
:)
dv said:
ChrispenEvan said:
Saw a microbiologist today. They were a lot bigger than I expected.
Pairs nicely with the Einstein joke
Yes, I though so too.

Arts said:
LOL.
And echidnas.
Arts said:
They told me I wouldn’t be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic
But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely.
idgi.
Michael V said:
Arts said:
They told me I wouldn’t be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic
But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely.
idgi.
Pottery.
Arts said:
people really do eat hedgehogs! According to Larousse Gastronomique, hedgehog was commonly consumed in 16th century France, but now “it is eaten only by gypsies, who either roast it or stew it.” Apparently the preferred method is to wrap the hedgehog in wet clay before roasting or stewing.
What does hedgehog meat taste like? They taste a little like pork but stronger. The texture different, they are quite chewy. Hedgehog meat is not unpleasant but there is not a lot of meat on one animal and they require more preparation than they are worth.
ChrispenEvan said:
Arts said:
![]()
people really do eat hedgehogs! According to Larousse Gastronomique, hedgehog was commonly consumed in 16th century France, but now “it is eaten only by gypsies, who either roast it or stew it.” Apparently the preferred method is to wrap the hedgehog in wet clay before roasting or stewing.
What does hedgehog meat taste like? They taste a little like pork but stronger. The texture different, they are quite chewy. Hedgehog meat is not unpleasant but there is not a lot of meat on one animal and they require more preparation than they are worth.
The best part of course are the free tooth picks.
ChrispenEvan said:
Arts said:
![]()
people really do eat hedgehogs! According to Larousse Gastronomique, hedgehog was commonly consumed in 16th century France, but now “it is eaten only by gypsies, who either roast it or stew it.” Apparently the preferred method is to wrap the hedgehog in wet clay before roasting or stewing.
What does hedgehog meat taste like? They taste a little like pork but stronger. The texture different, they are quite chewy. Hedgehog meat is not unpleasant but there is not a lot of meat on one animal and they require more preparation than they are worth.
I imagine that’s true of many small critters.
ChrispenEvan said:
ChrispenEvan said:
Arts said:
![]()
people really do eat hedgehogs! According to Larousse Gastronomique, hedgehog was commonly consumed in 16th century France, but now “it is eaten only by gypsies, who either roast it or stew it.” Apparently the preferred method is to wrap the hedgehog in wet clay before roasting or stewing.
What does hedgehog meat taste like? They taste a little like pork but stronger. The texture different, they are quite chewy. Hedgehog meat is not unpleasant but there is not a lot of meat on one animal and they require more preparation than they are worth.
The best part of course are the free tooth picks.
You’re almost ready for a full stand-up season.
Bubblecar said:
ChrispenEvan said:
ChrispenEvan said:people really do eat hedgehogs! According to Larousse Gastronomique, hedgehog was commonly consumed in 16th century France, but now “it is eaten only by gypsies, who either roast it or stew it.” Apparently the preferred method is to wrap the hedgehog in wet clay before roasting or stewing.
What does hedgehog meat taste like? They taste a little like pork but stronger. The texture different, they are quite chewy. Hedgehog meat is not unpleasant but there is not a lot of meat on one animal and they require more preparation than they are worth.
The best part of course are the free tooth picks.
You’re almost ready for a full stand-up season.
LOL
Michael V said:
Arts said:
![]()
LOL.
And echidnas.
Don’t all white exotic meats automatically taste like Chicken?
Bubblecar said:
Michael V said:
Arts said:
They told me I wouldn’t be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic
But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely.
idgi.
Pottery.
Ah, thanks.
Bubblecar said:
ChrispenEvan said:
ChrispenEvan said:people really do eat hedgehogs! According to Larousse Gastronomique, hedgehog was commonly consumed in 16th century France, but now “it is eaten only by gypsies, who either roast it or stew it.” Apparently the preferred method is to wrap the hedgehog in wet clay before roasting or stewing.
What does hedgehog meat taste like? They taste a little like pork but stronger. The texture different, they are quite chewy. Hedgehog meat is not unpleasant but there is not a lot of meat on one animal and they require more preparation than they are worth.
The best part of course are the free tooth picks.
You’re almost ready for a full stand-up season.
I’ve stood him up.
Rule 303 said:
Michael V said:
Arts said:
![]()
LOL.
And echidnas.
Don’t all white exotic meats automatically taste like Chicken?
Kind of curious about monotremes …
dv said:
Rule 303 said:
Michael V said:LOL.
And echidnas.
Don’t all white exotic meats automatically taste like Chicken?
Kind of curious about monotremes …
Unfortunately I cannot confirm or deny the claims about taste. My copy of Larousse ‘Gastronomique’ Meat, Poultry & Game has no listing for it in the index.
Most white muscle tastes very similar (that is, umami & salty) because of the lack of myoglobin.
The French are so hardcore, they eat PAIN for breakfast!.
Ahhh dear…
I don’t understand why Mark Zuckerberg spent $1000000000 on instagram when he could have just got it at the ap store for free…
Abraham was the smartest man in the Bible. He knew a Lot.
Me: if it’s male let’s name him Barry.
Him: Ok
Waiter: good evening
Me: good evening Barry