Was reading a murder mystery where a dead body was disposed of.
And it occurred to me that I don’t know where to dispose of a dead body.
But after a couple of minutes thought, I realised that I do know where to dispose of a dead body.

Do you?

mollwollfumble said:

Was reading a murder mystery where a dead body was disposed of.
And it occurred to me that I don’t know where to dispose of a dead body.
But after a couple of minutes thought, I realised that I do know where to dispose of a dead body.

Do you?

Yep.

mollwollfumble said:

Was reading a murder mystery where a dead body was disposed of.
And it occurred to me that I don’t know where to dispose of a dead body.
But after a couple of minutes thought, I realised that I do know where to dispose of a dead body.

Do you?

nope
but I’ve often wondered

the mafia used to bring them to a pig farm

Spiny Norman said:

mollwollfumble said:

Was reading a murder mystery where a dead body was disposed of.
And it occurred to me that I don’t know where to dispose of a dead body.
But after a couple of minutes thought, I realised that I do know where to dispose of a dead body.

Do you?

Yep.

It depends on the circumstances.
If the deceased was terminal & expected to die your local GP can issue a certificate of death (Not a Death Certificate). You can then call an undertaker who will remove the body & take care of legal details.
If the deceased was healthy the Police must be called. They will investigate & generally call in the coroner to take the body to the morgue and determine cause of death.

Ogmog said:

mollwollfumble said:

Was reading a murder mystery where a dead body was disposed of.
And it occurred to me that I don’t know where to dispose of a dead body.
But after a couple of minutes thought, I realised that I do know where to dispose of a dead body.

Do you?

nope
but I’ve often wondered

All depends on how messy you want to get, and your definitial of “Disposal”.

Tamb said:

Spiny Norman said:

mollwollfumble said:

Was reading a murder mystery where a dead body was disposed of.
And it occurred to me that I don’t know where to dispose of a dead body.
But after a couple of minutes thought, I realised that I do know where to dispose of a dead body.

Do you?

Yep.

It depends on the circumstances.
If the deceased was terminal & expected to die your local GP can issue a certificate of death (Not a Death Certificate). You can then call an undertaker who will remove the body & take care of legal details.
If the deceased was healthy the Police must be called. They will investigate & generally call in the coroner to take the body to the morgue and determine cause of death.

Interesting. I did not know about this certificate of death thing. It would give many an opportunity to assist someone’s dying, provided there is no external evidence of it.

Speedy said:

Tamb said:

Spiny Norman said:

Yep.

It depends on the circumstances.
If the deceased was terminal & expected to die your local GP can issue a certificate of death (Not a Death Certificate). You can then call an undertaker who will remove the body & take care of legal details.
If the deceased was healthy the Police must be called. They will investigate & generally call in the coroner to take the body to the morgue and determine cause of death.

Interesting. I did not know about this certificate of death thing. It would give many an opportunity to assist someone’s dying, provided there is no external evidence of it.

Mz Tamb was the former and my son & brother were the latter.

apparently these days all you need is a recent positive COVID-19 test and the authorities put it down to that so they can inflate the death rate, no questions asked, no need to investigate

Thanks for clearing that up, I did used to wonder what to do if I visited dear ol’ Dad while he was still living at home, and found his expired on the back lawn.

Just bury in and plant African Boxthorn on top of it. Nobody will dig it up, I promise.

Rule 303 said:

Just bury in and plant African Boxthorn on top of it. Nobody will dig it up, I promise.

+1

in light of the op
I assumed legal certificates
weren’t in order.. as much as I liked
your African Boxthorn solution, I’m still
waiting for Moll’s spin on the conundrum.

Slip it into a previously occupied crypt/ mausoleum
and stack it with the present resident (they won’t mind)
If you seal it back up, nobody will find it until the Rapture

Ogmog said:

Slip it into a previously occupied crypt/ mausoleum
and stack it with the present resident (they won’t mind)
If you seal it back up, nobody will find it until the Rapture

Molly used to post about physics questions once upon a time….just saying…

Rule 303 said:

Just bury in and plant African Boxthorn on top of it. Nobody will dig it up, I promise.

You haven’t seen the numbers of African Boxthorns that I’ve dug up.

roughbarked said:

Rule 303 said:

Just bury in and plant African Boxthorn on top of it. Nobody will dig it up, I promise.

You haven’t seen the numbers of African Boxthorns that I’ve dug up.

well, you’re a leathery old cuss

Ogmog said:

roughbarked said:

Rule 303 said:

Just bury in and plant African Boxthorn on top of it. Nobody will dig it up, I promise.

You haven’t seen the numbers of African Boxthorns that I’ve dug up.

well, you’re a leathery old cuss

Nay. I just stand off a bit and keep hitting the roots with a mattock until I defeat the bastards.

roughbarked said:

Ogmog said:

roughbarked said:

You haven’t seen the numbers of African Boxthorns that I’ve dug up.

well, you’re a leathery old cuss

Nay. I just stand off a bit and keep hitting the roots with a mattock until I defeat the bastards.

Snigging chain & a 4wd sees to them nicely.

Tamb said:

roughbarked said:

Ogmog said:

well, you’re a leathery old cuss

Nay. I just stand off a bit and keep hitting the roots with a mattock until I defeat the bastards.

Snigging chain & a 4wd sees to them nicely.

I need to leave the natives there. I’m not clearing land like a Queenslander.

roughbarked said:

Tamb said:

roughbarked said:

Nay. I just stand off a bit and keep hitting the roots with a mattock until I defeat the bastards.

Snigging chain & a 4wd sees to them nicely.

I need to leave the natives there. I’m not clearing land like a Queenslander.

Chain only round the boxthorn. I got rid of a lot of lantana that way, roots & all.

Tamb said:

roughbarked said:

Tamb said:

Snigging chain & a 4wd sees to them nicely.

I need to leave the natives there. I’m not clearing land like a Queenslander.

Chain only round the boxthorn. I got rid of a lot of lantana that way, roots & all.

Yes that will do it.

you can’t really get rid of a dead body as such. If you converted it to energy then that would do the trick.

Bogsnorkler said:

you can’t really get rid of a dead body as such. If you converted it to energy then that would do the trick.

They have never found a scerrick of Donald Mackay. Not even his teeth when they dug up an old pig pen.

“And it occurred to me that I don’t know where to dispose of a dead body.
But after a couple of minutes thought, I realised that I do know where to dispose of a dead body.
“

Damn, that Alzheimers is kicking your arse.

legally or illegally?

Arts said:

legally or illegally?

Illegally is easy. Backhoe.

roughbarked said:

Bogsnorkler said:

you can’t really get rid of a dead body as such. If you converted it to energy then that would do the trick.

They have never found a scerrick of Donald Mackay. Not even his teeth when they dug up an old pig pen.

My rumour mill at the time said he went to the blood and bone machine.

sarahs mum said:

roughbarked said:

Bogsnorkler said:

you can’t really get rid of a dead body as such. If you converted it to energy then that would do the trick.

They have never found a scerrick of Donald Mackay. Not even his teeth when they dug up an old pig pen.

My rumour mill at the time said he went to the blood and bone machine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YzsWVUO-_o

roughbarked said:

Rule 303 said:

Just bury in and plant African Boxthorn on top of it. Nobody will dig it up, I promise.

You haven’t seen the numbers of African Boxthorns that I’ve dug up.

You haven’t seen the number of places that don’t get searched because of Boxthorn.

sarahs mum said:

roughbarked said:

Bogsnorkler said:

you can’t really get rid of a dead body as such. If you converted it to energy then that would do the trick.

They have never found a scerrick of Donald Mackay. Not even his teeth when they dug up an old pig pen.

My rumour mill at the time said he went to the blood and bone machine.

Yes there was a rumour that he went to the Barters chook food meat grinder but there was no evidence of human remains.

Rule 303 said:

roughbarked said:

Rule 303 said:

Just bury in and plant African Boxthorn on top of it. Nobody will dig it up, I promise.

You haven’t seen the numbers of African Boxthorns that I’ve dug up.

You haven’t seen the number of places that don’t get searched because of Boxthorn.

Wouldn’t surprise me.

roughbarked said:

Rule 303 said:

roughbarked said:

You haven’t seen the numbers of African Boxthorns that I’ve dug up.

You haven’t seen the number of places that don’t get searched because of Boxthorn.

Wouldn’t surprise me.

King Island had heaps of African Boxthorns, they make great wind breaks and when hedged, a great fence line. Many a thorn in my feet as a youngster :/

I’m with Rule here but my answer to the question is acid :)

Anywhere is accessible, if you want it bad enough.

Our neighbours in Bargara lived in Fiji for some time. A two-storey house, surrounded by a cyclone wire fence topped with plenty of barbed wire. Two large dogs roaming. The entire ground floor practically encased in bougainevillea teeming with those dreadful needle-like thorns.

Yet, somehow, a burglar got in and ransacked the upper floor.

Blood everywhere, but he got in and got out again.

Tamb said:

Spiny Norman said:

mollwollfumble said:

Was reading a murder mystery where a dead body was disposed of.
And it occurred to me that I don’t know where to dispose of a dead body.
But after a couple of minutes thought, I realised that I do know where to dispose of a dead body.

Do you?

Yep.

It depends on the circumstances.
If the deceased was terminal & expected to die your local GP can issue a certificate of death (Not a Death Certificate). You can then call an undertaker who will remove the body & take care of legal details.
If the deceased was healthy the Police must be called. They will investigate & generally call in the coroner to take the body to the morgue and determine cause of death.

Thanks for that. I was wondering why in my mothers case it was taken care of immediately, but a friend had to wait more than 4 months for the body to be released.

Ogmog said:

Rule 303 said:

Just bury in and plant African Boxthorn on top of it. Nobody will dig it up, I promise.

+1

in light of the op
I assumed legal certificates
weren’t in order.. as much as I liked
your African Boxthorn solution, I’m still
waiting for Moll’s spin on the conundrum.

I don’t get that African boxthorn thing. Why wouldn’t anybody dig it up?
If it’s an invasive species then the local council would be onto it right away?

Bogsnorkler said:

you can’t really get rid of a dead body as such. If you converted it to energy then that would do the trick.

An incinerator would be a possible for getting rid of the smell, but dead bodies only burn sufficiently fiercely if they have a lethal dose of alcohol in lard.

I suspect that I can’t even dispose of it in a coal-fired power plant any more because all the fuel is crushed before burning making discovery too easy.

Tamb said:

Arts said:

legally or illegally?

Illegally is easy. Backhoe.

That’s it. And I can hire a backhoe. I don’t really have a lot of free land to do the digging on, though.

Weighted down in the deep sea seems safe enough (not Port Phillip Bay). But would need a boat for that.

mollwollfumble said:

Tamb said:

Spiny Norman said:

An incinerator would be a possible for getting rid of the smell, but dead bodies only burn sufficiently fiercely if they have a lethal dose of alcohol in lard.

I suspect that I can’t even dispose of it in a coal-fired power plant any more because all the fuel is crushed before burning making discovery too easy.

Tamb said:

Arts said:

legally or illegally?

Illegally is easy. Backhoe.

That’s it. And I can hire a backhoe. I don’t really have a lot of free land to do the digging on, though.

Weighted down in the deep sea seems safe enough (not Port Phillip Bay). But would need a boat for that.

would seem it could require some forethought, effort & expense
not something you could pull off in the spur of the moment
like if you ran over the random lone jogger or someat

wiping out traces like boat or heavy equipment rental agreements
or the time required to grow any viciously spikey 5 meter shrub…

I hazily recall a story we were assigned to read in my school daze
about a vegetarian chap caught in possession of a jar of meat sauce

Funny story.

I was walking along a bush track when I came across a shallow open grave beside the track.

I walked all around it.

It was the right size and shape for a grave, but too shallow.

Was the killer disturbed in the middle of digging it? Should I call the police? That was when I noticed the square poos beside the excavation.

mollwollfumble said:

Funny story.

I was walking along a bush track when I came across a shallow open grave beside the track.

I walked all around it.

It was the right size and shape for a grave, but too shallow.

Was the killer disturbed in the middle of digging it? Should I call the police? That was when I noticed the square poos beside the excavation.

Yowies?

Bunyips?

Anatolian harpsichord tailors?

mollwollfumble said:

Was reading a murder mystery where a dead body was disposed of.
And it occurred to me that I don’t know where to dispose of a dead body.
But after a couple of minutes thought, I realised that I do know where to dispose of a dead body.

Do you?

I’m not falling for that again.

captain_spalding said:

mollwollfumble said:

Funny story.

I was walking along a bush track when I came across a shallow open grave beside the track.

I walked all around it.

It was the right size and shape for a grave, but too shallow.

Was the killer disturbed in the middle of digging it? Should I call the police? That was when I noticed the square poos beside the excavation.

Yowies?

Bunyips?

Anatolian harpsichord tailors?

Wombat poo is cubical

Spiny Norman said:

Wombat poo is cubical

Of course.

I’d forgotten all about how Picasso and Braque were so strongly influenced by wombat poo.

captain_spalding said:

mollwollfumble said:

Funny story.

I was walking along a bush track when I came across a shallow open grave beside the track.

I walked all around it.

It was the right size and shape for a grave, but too shallow.

Was the killer disturbed in the middle of digging it? Should I call the police? That was when I noticed the square poos beside the excavation.

Yowies?

Bunyips?

Anatolian harpsichord tailors?

Cubic scat = wombat

Me? Personally?

I favour the food drier approach, it stops the smell and lightens the body significantly. Generally it takes a few weeks to fully dry it out and makes transportation a 1000 easier. Apply a blowtorch to remove any forensic evidence and bob’s your uncle.

Just drive out to the scrub with it wrapped in a tarp some leaves, the dried out food stick makes any future examination( if it’s ever found ) much harder by removing any incriminating guess of how long its been out there rendering it moot in court ( try to master the shocked and horrified look in court).

The key to my mind is keeping it dry, the tarp keeps it dry and warm. Ants will have a go but it might ultimately be dragged away by dingoes or similar ( dogs love those meat straps you find in the supermarket).

Bury it 1.8m under a dead horse that’s buried 1.8m deep. Hopefully when they get to the horse they think that’s all that was buried there.