A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

monkey skipper said:

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

That’s worth a smile, so:

:)

Warning!

I got robbed at the BP servo this arvo.

I immediately rang the police, and they asked me if I knew who it was that robbed me.

I replied, “Pump number 5”.

monkey skipper said:

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

Ha!

:)

Spiny Norman said:

polite golf clap

fsm said:

Dear oh dear

Spiny Norman said:

LOL

fsm said:

:)

The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain
parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter.

They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking.
The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker
accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge.

Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered.
Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear’s sensitive nose and it will run away.

It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area.
People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat.

Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur,
while Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.

Ogmog said:

The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain
parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter.

They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking.
The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker
accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge.

Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered.
Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear’s sensitive nose and it will run away.

It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area.
People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat.

Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur,
while Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.

LOL

Kingy said:

Warning!

I got robbed at the BP servo this arvo.

I immediately rang the police, and they asked me if I knew who it was that robbed me.

I replied, “Pump number 5”.

Oh, you’ve noticed. ;-(

I robbed our local ALDI yesterday. Either that or I bought 1.5 grams of pumpkin.

For the first time in a while I had a need of some actual cash.

I went to the ATM and requested $550. It gave me a message asking me to use a multiple of 20 (presumably, I thought, because the machine was out of 50s). I typed in $560, and it gave me a message asking me to use a multiple of 20.

mollwollfumble said:

Kingy said:

Warning!

I got robbed at the BP servo this arvo.

I immediately rang the police, and they asked me if I knew who it was that robbed me.

I replied, “Pump number 5”.

Oh, you’ve noticed. ;-(

I robbed our local ALDI yesterday. Either that or I bought 1.5 grams of pumpkin.

Have some Star Wars funnies.

https://www.businessinsider.com.au/florida-school-says-vaxxed-kids-quarantine-30-days-each-dose-2021-10

A Florida school says vaccinated students must stay home for 30 days after each shot, citing a false claim that they’ll infect others

Boris said:

https://www.businessinsider.com.au/florida-school-says-vaxxed-kids-quarantine-30-days-each-dose-2021-10

A Florida school says vaccinated students must stay home for 30 days after each shot, citing a false claim that they’ll infect others

If I was a kid I’d try to get a booster every month just to be sure

Boris said:

https://www.businessinsider.com.au/florida-school-says-vaxxed-kids-quarantine-30-days-each-dose-2021-10

A Florida school says vaccinated students must stay home for 30 days after each shot, citing a false claim that they’ll infect others

Hey-Zeus!

Spiny Norman said:

:)

Michael V said:

Spiny Norman said:

:)

+1

3, count them, dimensional phones!!!

QUANTUM PHONES Q ARE COMING! Steve Jobs is alive and working on the new Quantum Phones. Free quantum phones for anyone worldwide who doesn’t emit any harmful radiation and only need charging once every 5 years. When EBS is finished, we officially move into the Quantum Age. Everything becomes quantum. And everything that was related to K a b a l leaves our lives.

THE BEST IS YET TO COME! THE PHONES Q ARE COMING. Q-phones have already been manufactured in Germany and the UK, with a final update of software in the United States. This smartphone is three-dimensional and of the highest quality. It will become one of the main tools for direct credit and day-to-day living for consumer, small and business trading operations, including internationally. This is a production operation worth five hundred billion dollars in three countries.

Costs may increase considering seven billion Q-phones will be provided to every person on the planet. QFS will create its own internet, which will work from its trinary code system and can have a G 8 network for Satcom. You will be trained for QFS and how to operate this system. The world as we know it is changing, don’t think about banking and investing the old way. We are entering a new form of out-of-planet technology designed to free humanity from the deceit of dark caps.

As we transition to mass pressuring, we may experience inconveniences. It will be temporary until the world restarts. Necessary scaremongering Event, EBS and videos that are shocking will happen, but you who have been warned, don’t be scared, stay calm. You are already very well informed of what will happen in these days. It will be unexpected in one of the next days. You know everything and you will be guided. Everything will be meant to free humanity from the deceit of dark caps.

After that we will have a world without wars or feuds. Never again! A thousand years of peace. After the emergency, the G * E * S * A * R * A program is activated. The news of the Queen is expected to be announced at any moment, perhaps tomorrow. According to my logic, we could not have passed into the New World together with the institution that caused humanity’s greatest evils.

Everything needs to be clean! We are expected in November, perhaps on the fifth, to return to the old Julian calendar, which is 13 days further behind the Gregorian. I mean, we will celebrate our name days, as we have recently. In these days it will pass into history and the biggest fraud in the history of humanity – the fake pandemic and the non-existent virus. Counting down! Where one goes, we go all – WG1WGA!

“What Keith Pitt says is perfectly true,” the Nationals MP for Mallee Anne Webster said. “They don’t work in the dark, and neither do our wind farms.”

Boris said:

“What Keith Pitt says is perfectly true,” the Nationals MP for Mallee Anne Webster said. “They don’t work in the dark, and neither do our wind farms.”

oh. oh.

Boris said:

:)

Boris said:

hA!

sarahs mum said:

Boris said:

“What Keith Pitt says is perfectly true,” the Nationals MP for Mallee Anne Webster said. “They don’t work in the dark, and neither do our wind farms.”

oh. oh.

Solar Wind Farms

wait

SCIENCE said:

sarahs mum said:

Boris said:

“What Keith Pitt says is perfectly true,” the Nationals MP for Mallee Anne Webster said. “They don’t work in the dark, and neither do our wind farms.”

oh. oh.

Solar Wind Farms

wait

He wasn’t around here last night. My washing was blowing down the street.

You’ve got a friend in me…

Boris said:

You’ve got a friend in me…

It is all about jobs. Give a man a chainsaw and show him the forest.
Jobs only come about because some rich cnut wants to exploit every person and all resources to build their pile of cash.

never gets unfunny, or a little unsad.

Boris said:

You’ve got a friend in me…

Sad, hey.

roughbarked said:

Boris said:

You’ve got a friend in me…

It is all about jobs. Give a man a chainsaw and show him the forest.
Jobs only come about because some rich cnut wants to exploit every person and all resources to build their pile of cash.

well yes weren’t the vikings all about rape and pillage

SCIENCE said:

roughbarked said:

Boris said:

You’ve got a friend in me…

It is all about jobs. Give a man a chainsaw and show him the forest.
Jobs only come about because some rich cnut wants to exploit every person and all resources to build their pile of cash.

well yes weren’t the vikings all about rape and pillage

If the stories are true.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1455595491778039810

Dark Orange said:

LOLOL

Dark Orange said:

Facts

dv said:

Dark Orange said:

Facts

October even I think

Cymek said:

dv said:

Dark Orange said:

Facts

October even I think

But Xmas has said that October is its last territorial demand.

captain_spalding said:

Cymek said:

dv said:

Facts

October even I think

But Xmas has said that October is its last territorial demand.

It was working on the Latin octo = eight i.e. the eighth month.

Meanwhile Friday Funnies have invaded Thursday

dv said:

I have met one of these men and shaken their hand.

Here you go; climate and political commentary from that uneducated “journalist” Vikki Campion:

“Australia’s job was to get in and out of the Glasgow fiasco, an absolute circus of spivs and activists, with politicians cast to the side – and in one case left on the side of the road for two hours because, in all the fuss about our changing climate, they forgot about wheelchair access.

Our reward for showing up to the COP26 UN Climate Summit was billionaires, carpet baggers and virtue-signalling celebrities eminent of a modern-day Marie Antoinette blasting us.

The last queen of France before the French Revolution famously gorged on handmade sweets, draped in diamonds and dresses of silk and velvet, while at the same time financially-drained peasants starved and a bloated aristocratic, royal and privileged class refused to relinquish their entitlements.

Like Marie Antoinette in her Versailles palace, at COP26 they favoured buttery croissants for breakfast.
Without a touch of self-awareness, they spruiked cancelling methane emissions from our herds, then indulged in croissants made from butter which comes from cows, and big juicy meat dishes like haggis and bacon rolls.
It turns out billionaires and global elites don’t stick to “vegan alternatives” either.

After listening to delegates, you would expect that the Glasgow Port would be crowded with sailboats made of recycled timber and plastic for COP26, but it was Scotland’s airports in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Prestwick that were clogged with more than 400 private jets.

Where was Extinction Rebellion when you need them?

Why weren’t they glued to the airport tarmac, preventing carbon-emitting private planes delivering Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, Prince Charles, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, US President Joe Biden and carpet-baggers primed to make bank on their way to the pain-in-the-arse party of the century — instead of the gluing themselves to the bridge over Canberra’s Lake Burley Griffin when Parliament wasn’t even sitting?

Just like the former Queen of France ran into trouble for taxing the poor while sucking on the teat of the state, the modern-day Antoinette class can mount the stage and say: “When it comes to tackling climate change, words without action, without deeds are absolutely pointless.”

That was UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson before he took a private jet home, and after he and Prince Charles each took separate private jets from Rome, effectively forcing the British taxpayers to fund two private planes — and the climate to take twice the emissions — to go to the very same conference.

And despite Malcolm Turnbull’s protests that he is just a mere ordinary citizen — when a flat-bed business class seat on Qantas QF1 wasn’t available because they weren’t flying he just hitched a ride on Andrew Forrest’s private jet.
You’d think after his hydrogen hype, the iron-ore magnate might opt to fly in using the same planet-saving technology that powered the Hindenberg.

The Antoinette class spruiked slashing emissions while creating a bigger carbon footprint than the entire neighbourhood suburbs they entered, with motorcades taking VIPs to events in chauffeured cars, which waited in side streets with engines idling, rubbish overflowed from Glasgow’s street bins, and all the while they were mounting the stage to lecture the masses to stop eating meat, drinking milk, or burning wood.

But the lowest point of COP26 wasn’t the grotesque display of public resources used on private aircraft or even the overflowing rubbish.

In the glare of saving the world, they forgot to include the most basic of human needs that even bush post offices feature. Wheelchair access.

Israel’s energy minister Karine Elharrar, who has muscular dystrophy, was left to wait for two hours outside COP26, and then offered a shuttle without wheelchair access, and then forced to return to her hotel.

That in itself paints a bleak picture of what climate activists really care about – and it’s not people.

The left-wing European news source, Euronews, which recommends buying second-hand sex toys, using a reusable washcloth instead of toilet paper, and claims pollution is causing penises to shrink, took aim at countries that refused to bow down to pledges which would destroy their development, such as Indonesia refusing to commit to zero deforestation by 2030.

The single benefit to Australia being at COP26 was intimate access to 130 world leaders. Prime Minister Scott Morrison was smashed with back-to-back meetings on trade, the global economy, the economic rebuild and vaccinating the world.

Australia helped calm the hyperventilation spurned by fearmongering carpet baggers indulging in greenwash to drive the reality that socialism and giving trillions of dollars of taxes to China is not the answer.

Australia led a solid bloc of countries — including Japan, Korea, India, Brazil, China and Indonesia — to delete extreme pledges from the final communique, including a timeline on zero coal, signing up to a methane pledge, and ceasing fossil fuels.

Even net-zero by 2050 was removed in the end to be in favour of net-zero “by or around mid-century”.
But in the end, Australia’s presence was slammed by the climate-Antoinettes — representatives from Hollywood, art galleries, and climate, renewable energy and environmental groups.

You will never make the climate-Antoinettes happy with any goal or commitment — not even when you are blaming your penis size on climate change.”

Bogsnorkler said:

There was a phrase we used in a job i had:

‘The primary-electron-flow manual interface had been left in the access-ready mode’.

(They forgot to switch it on.)

Bogsnorkler said:

My dad used to speak of a Technical tap. It was used to overcome Sticksion

Bogsnorkler said:

Electrical Engineers, maybe.

The Rev Dodgson said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Electrical Engineers, maybe.

the only kind of engineer, the others are just stamp collectors!

The Rev Dodgson said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Electrical Engineers, maybe.

Other types of engineers are impossible to understand.

Michael V said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Electrical Engineers, maybe.

Other types of engineers are impossible to understand.

Would restoring mains power be revolting?

It seems that my years of subtle indoctrination appears to be paying off.

Tamb said:

Michael V said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Electrical Engineers, maybe.

Other types of engineers are impossible to understand.

Would restoring mains power be revolting?

LOL

:)

sibeen said:

It seems that my years of subtle indoctrination appears to be paying off.

All I remember from my undergrad maths lectures:

The lecturer’s favourite joke.

Someone suggests that all odd numbers are prime:

Mathematician: Obviously not, 9 isn’t a prime number.
Physicist: 3, 5, 7, 9, hmmm perhaps experimental error, 11, 13 … OK, it works to acceptable accuracy.
Electrical engineer: 3, 5, 7, OK, that works
Mechanical engineer: 3, 5, OK
Civil engineer: 3, OK

How we laughed.

The electrical and mechanical guys did anyway.

The Rev Dodgson said:

sibeen said:

It seems that my years of subtle indoctrination appears to be paying off.

All I remember from my undergrad maths lectures:

The lecturer’s favourite joke.

Someone suggests that all odd numbers are prime:

Mathematician: Obviously not, 9 isn’t a prime number.
Physicist: 3, 5, 7, 9, hmmm perhaps experimental error, 11, 13 … OK, it works to acceptable accuracy.
Electrical engineer: 3, 5, 7, OK, that works
Mechanical engineer: 3, 5, OK
Civil engineer: 3, OK

How we laughed.

The electrical and mechanical guys did anyway.

Normally Civil works Foreman is a contradiction in terms.

quote=Bogsnorkler

Thanks, I haven’t had that much of a laugh for a long time.

I wonder what the equivalent would be for Civil Engineers?

• Gravity overload malfunction = It fell down.
• Excessive hydraulic flux = the dam isn’t there any more
• Inadequate slump = the concrete set in the truck

mollwollfumble said:

quote=Bogsnorkler

Thanks, I haven’t had that much of a laugh for a long time.

I wonder what the equivalent would be for Civil Engineers?

• Gravity overload malfunction = It fell down.
• Excessive hydraulic flux = the dam isn’t there any more
• Inadequate slump = the concrete set in the truck
  

I’ll have you know that civil engineers are known for their plain speaking, for instance (from my M.EngSc. course):
The WIFO criterion is will it fall over?

I’ll give you the last one though.

The Rev Dodgson said:

mollwollfumble said:

quote=Bogsnorkler

Thanks, I haven’t had that much of a laugh for a long time.

I wonder what the equivalent would be for Civil Engineers?

• Gravity overload malfunction = It fell down.
• Excessive hydraulic flux = the dam isn’t there any more
• Inadequate slump = the concrete set in the truck
  

I’ll have you know that civil engineers are known for their plain speaking, for instance (from my M.EngSc. course):
The WIFO criterion is will it fall over?

I’ll give you the last one though.

I like that. I haven’t heard WIFO.

I used to use HWIF how will it fail? Because there are so many different types of ways a construction can fail.

mollwollfumble said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

mollwollfumble said:

quote=Bogsnorkler

Thanks, I haven’t had that much of a laugh for a long time.

I wonder what the equivalent would be for Civil Engineers?

• Gravity overload malfunction = It fell down.
• Excessive hydraulic flux = the dam isn’t there any more
• Inadequate slump = the concrete set in the truck
  

I’ll have you know that civil engineers are known for their plain speaking, for instance (from my M.EngSc. course):
The WIFO criterion is will it fall over?

I’ll give you the last one though.

I like that. I haven’t heard WIFO.

I used to use HWIF how will it fail? Because there are so many different types of ways a construction can fail.

Collapse being a generalisation?

roughbarked said:

mollwollfumble said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

I’ll have you know that civil engineers are known for their plain speaking, for instance (from my M.EngSc. course):
The WIFO criterion is will it fall over?

I’ll give you the last one though.

I like that. I haven’t heard WIFO.

I used to use HWIF how will it fail? Because there are so many different types of ways a construction can fail.

Collapse being a generalisation?

Hmm.

My personal favourite civil engineering failure method is “punching shear”. It used to be quite a popular failure method for buildings.

The Rev Dodgson said:

sibeen said:

It seems that my years of subtle indoctrination appears to be paying off.

All I remember from my undergrad maths lectures:

The lecturer’s favourite joke.

Someone suggests that all odd numbers are prime:

Mathematician: Obviously not, 9 isn’t a prime number.
Physicist: 3, 5, 7, 9, hmmm perhaps experimental error, 11, 13 … OK, it works to acceptable accuracy.
Electrical engineer: 3, 5, 7, OK, that works
Mechanical engineer: 3, 5, OK
Civil engineer: 3, OK

How we laughed.

The electrical and mechanical guys did anyway.

And it’s the civils that design the bridges you drive over…

buffy said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

sibeen said:

It seems that my years of subtle indoctrination appears to be paying off.

All I remember from my undergrad maths lectures:

The lecturer’s favourite joke.

Someone suggests that all odd numbers are prime:

Mathematician: Obviously not, 9 isn’t a prime number.
Physicist: 3, 5, 7, 9, hmmm perhaps experimental error, 11, 13 … OK, it works to acceptable accuracy.
Electrical engineer: 3, 5, 7, OK, that works
Mechanical engineer: 3, 5, OK
Civil engineer: 3, OK

How we laughed.

The electrical and mechanical guys did anyway.

And it’s the civils that design the bridges you drive over…

Some of which have been known to fail.

buffy said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

sibeen said:

It seems that my years of subtle indoctrination appears to be paying off.

All I remember from my undergrad maths lectures:

The lecturer’s favourite joke.

Someone suggests that all odd numbers are prime:

Mathematician: Obviously not, 9 isn’t a prime number.
Physicist: 3, 5, 7, 9, hmmm perhaps experimental error, 11, 13 … OK, it works to acceptable accuracy.
Electrical engineer: 3, 5, 7, OK, that works
Mechanical engineer: 3, 5, OK
Civil engineer: 3, OK

How we laughed.

The electrical and mechanical guys did anyway.

And it’s the civils that design the bridges you drive over…

Like the Barron river bridge which is reduced to one lane to prevent it falling down.

Tamb said:

Like the Barron river bridge which is reduced to one lane to prevent it falling down.

Two lanes: fall down.

One lane: stay up

Zero lanes: levitation?

captain_spalding said:

Tamb said:

Like the Barron river bridge which is reduced to one lane to prevent it falling down.

Two lanes: fall down.

One lane: stay up

Zero lanes: levitation?

levitation frustration

roughbarked said:

buffy said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

All I remember from my undergrad maths lectures:

The lecturer’s favourite joke.

Someone suggests that all odd numbers are prime:

Mathematician: Obviously not, 9 isn’t a prime number.
Physicist: 3, 5, 7, 9, hmmm perhaps experimental error, 11, 13 … OK, it works to acceptable accuracy.
Electrical engineer: 3, 5, 7, OK, that works
Mechanical engineer: 3, 5, OK
Civil engineer: 3, OK

How we laughed.

The electrical and mechanical guys did anyway.

And it’s the civils that design the bridges you drive over…

Some of which have been known to fail.

But very rarely, and never as a result of thinking that all odd number are prime numbers.

The Rev Dodgson said:

roughbarked said:

buffy said:

And it’s the civils that design the bridges you drive over…

Some of which have been known to fail.

But very rarely, and never as a result of thinking that all odd number are prime numbers.

Fair point.

The Rev Dodgson said:

roughbarked said:

buffy said:

And it’s the civils that design the bridges you drive over…

Some of which have been known to fail.

But very rarely, and never as a result of thinking that all odd number are prime numbers.

do you even use prime numbers in your engineering

SCIENCE said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

roughbarked said:

Some of which have been known to fail.

But very rarely, and never as a result of thinking that all odd number are prime numbers.

do you even use prime numbers in your engineering

Sure.

Roads usually have a prime number of carriageways.

Typical road bridges often have a prime number of spans (although they do sometime have 4, which even us civils recognise as non-prime).

etc

SCIENCE said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

roughbarked said:

Some of which have been known to fail.

But very rarely, and never as a result of thinking that all odd number are prime numbers.

do you even use prime numbers in your engineering

The joke falls at the first hurdle, doesn’t it? Isn’t 2 a prime number?

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

But very rarely, and never as a result of thinking that all odd number are prime numbers.

do you even use prime numbers in your engineering

Sure.

Roads usually have a prime number of carriageways.

Typical road bridges often have a prime number of spans (although they do sometime have 4, which even us civils recognise as non-prime).

etc

is that for any specific purposes

furious said:

SCIENCE said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

But very rarely, and never as a result of thinking that all odd number are prime numbers.

do you even use prime numbers in your engineering

The joke falls at the first hurdle, doesn’t it? Isn’t 2 a prime number?

It didn’t say all primes were odd, it said all odds were prime.

The Rev Dodgson said:

furious said:

SCIENCE said:

do you even use prime numbers in your engineering

The joke falls at the first hurdle, doesn’t it? Isn’t 2 a prime number?

It didn’t say all primes were odd, it said all odds were prime.

But anyway, the guy was a conceited mathematician, who knew nothing about engineering, so I don’t know why I’m defending his little joke.

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

But very rarely, and never as a result of thinking that all odd number are prime numbers.

do you even use prime numbers in your engineering

Sure.

Roads usually have a prime number of carriageways.

Nearly every road I have ever driven on has had an even number of carriageways. Am I missing something?

Kingy said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

do you even use prime numbers in your engineering

Sure.

Roads usually have a prime number of carriageways.

Nearly every road I have ever driven on has had an even number of carriageways. Am I missing something?

Possibly 2 things:

Lots of roads have one carriageway; perhaps you are thinking of lanes.

Dual carriageways have two carriageways, which is a prime number (being only divisible by 1 and itself).

The Rev Dodgson said:

Kingy said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Sure.

Roads usually have a prime number of carriageways.

Nearly every road I have ever driven on has had an even number of carriageways. Am I missing something?

Possibly 2 things:

Lots of roads have one carriageway; perhaps you are thinking of lanes.

Dual carriageways have two carriageways, which is a prime number (being only divisible by 1 and itself).

2 is an odd prime being even.

Bogsnorkler said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Kingy said:

Nearly every road I have ever driven on has had an even number of carriageways. Am I missing something?

Possibly 2 things:

Lots of roads have one carriageway; perhaps you are thinking of lanes.

Dual carriageways have two carriageways, which is a prime number (being only divisible by 1 and itself).

2 is an odd prime being even.

True.

The Rev Dodgson said:

Kingy said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Sure.

Roads usually have a prime number of carriageways.

Nearly every road I have ever driven on has had an even number of carriageways. Am I missing something?

Possibly 2 things:

Lots of roads have one carriageway; perhaps you are thinking of lanes.

Dual carriageways have two carriageways, which is a prime number (being only divisible by 1 and itself).

Ok, so a lane is not a carriageway. That’ll be my learnin’ for the day.

Kingy said:

Ok, so a lane is not a carriageway. That’ll be my learnin’ for the day.

And a house is not a home
When there’s no-one there.

captain_spalding said:

Kingy said:

Ok, so a lane is not a carriageway. That’ll be my learnin’ for the day.

And a house is not a home
When there’s no-one there.

There are many houses which aren’t homes even when the occupants are present.

buffy said:

captain_spalding said:

And a house is not a home
When there’s no-one there.

There are many houses which aren’t homes even when the occupants are present.

Thanks for the idea, but there’s no way that your suggested lyrics will fit the melody.

captain_spalding said:

buffy said:

captain_spalding said:

And a house is not a home
When there’s no-one there.

There are many houses which aren’t homes even when the occupants are present.

Thanks for the idea, but there’s no way that your suggested lyrics will fit the melody.

You just need to adjust the syllables a little.

buffy said:

captain_spalding said:

buffy said:

There are many houses which aren’t homes even when the occupants are present.

Thanks for the idea, but there’s no way that your suggested lyrics will fit the melody.

You just need to adjust the syllables a little.

Hmm…ok.

(Jesus, another re-write)

Sammy, get your arse in here, we’ve gotta work this thing some more!

Bogsnorkler said:

No comment.

This would be me if I were god

Bogsnorkler said:

Where does he get changed now days?

sibeen said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Where does he get changed now days?

Disability toilet.

Dark Orange said:

Hehehehe

Kingy said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Kingy said:

Nearly every road I have ever driven on has had an even number of carriageways. Am I missing something?

Possibly 2 things:

Lots of roads have one carriageway; perhaps you are thinking of lanes.

Dual carriageways have two carriageways, which is a prime number (being only divisible by 1 and itself).

Ok, so a lane is not a carriageway. That’ll be my learnin’ for the day.

is The Rev Dodgson implying that 1 is a prime number

SCIENCE said:

Kingy said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Possibly 2 things:

Lots of roads have one carriageway; perhaps you are thinking of lanes.

Dual carriageways have two carriageways, which is a prime number (being only divisible by 1 and itself).

Ok, so a lane is not a carriageway. That’ll be my learnin’ for the day.

is The Rev Dodgson implying that 1 is a prime number

No, one is the loneliest number.

A Harry Nilsen pun in a completely different thread. I’m a genius.

sibeen said:

SCIENCE said:

Kingy said:

Ok, so a lane is not a carriageway. That’ll be my learnin’ for the day.

is The Rev Dodgson implying that 1 is a prime number

No, one is the loneliest number.

A Harry Nilsen pun in a completely different thread. I’m a genius.

Nilsson.

sibeen said:

sibeen said:

SCIENCE said:

is The Rev Dodgson implying that 1 is a prime number

No, one is the loneliest number.

A Harry Nilsen pun in a completely different thread. I’m a genius.

Nilsson.

You made a mistake so lose points. So, what’s your score? Well, it’s nil, son…

SCIENCE said:

Kingy said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Possibly 2 things:

Lots of roads have one carriageway; perhaps you are thinking of lanes.

Dual carriageways have two carriageways, which is a prime number (being only divisible by 1 and itself).

Ok, so a lane is not a carriageway. That’ll be my learnin’ for the day.

is The Rev Dodgson implying that 1 is a prime number

Well the internet says:
It is important to remember that mathematical definitions develop and evolve. Throughout history, many mathematicians considered 1 to be a prime number although that is not now a commonly held view. So when debating if 1 is a prime number, I’m prepared to call it a draw.

So who am I to argue?

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

Kingy said:

Ok, so a lane is not a carriageway. That’ll be my learnin’ for the day.

is The Rev Dodgson implying that 1 is a prime number

Well the internet says:
It is important to remember that mathematical definitions develop and evolve. Throughout history, many mathematicians considered 1 to be a prime number although that is not now a commonly held view. So when debating if 1 is a prime number, I’m prepared to call it a draw.

So who am I to argue?

One is the loneliest number…

captain_spalding said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

is The Rev Dodgson implying that 1 is a prime number

Well the internet says:
It is important to remember that mathematical definitions develop and evolve. Throughout history, many mathematicians considered 1 to be a prime number although that is not now a commonly held view. So when debating if 1 is a prime number, I’m prepared to call it a draw.

So who am I to argue?

One is the loneliest number…

Which one?

Peak Warming Man said:

captain_spalding said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Well the internet says:
It is important to remember that mathematical definitions develop and evolve. Throughout history, many mathematicians considered 1 to be a prime number although that is not now a commonly held view. So when debating if 1 is a prime number, I’m prepared to call it a draw.

So who am I to argue?

One is the loneliest number…

Which one?

Well, not every one. Some ones are quite happy to stand alone.

roughbarked said:

Peak Warming Man said:

captain_spalding said:

One is the loneliest number…

Which one?

Well, not every one. Some ones are quite happy to stand alone.

General Custer made a stand.

roughbarked said:

Peak Warming Man said:

captain_spalding said:

One is the loneliest number…

Which one?

Well, not every one. Some ones are quite happy to stand alone.

General Custer made a stand.

Tamb said:

roughbarked said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Which one?

Well, not every one. Some ones are quite happy to stand alone.

General Custer made a stand.

I made a stand.

Does a great job of holding a vase of flowers.

captain_spalding said:

Tamb said:

roughbarked said:

Well, not every one. Some ones are quite happy to stand alone.

General Custer made a stand.

I made a stand.

Does a great job of holding a vase of flowers.

His was a failure.

Tamb said:

captain_spalding said:

Tamb said:

General Custer made a stand.

I made a stand.

Does a great job of holding a vase of flowers.

His was a failure.

Custer was a pretty good officer in the Civil War. He made the brevet rank of brigadier general at age 23. He was a good tactician, but in a spot-the-opportunity sense, out in the field. He wasn’t one to sit down and plan things and consider possible situations.

He resented his pot-war reduction in rank very much, and was always trying to prove himself as ‘better than that.’ He wasn’t really suited to independent command, and his personality caused a lot of friction with those under him, which actually contributed to his defeat at Little Big Horn.

captain_spalding said:

Tamb said:

captain_spalding said:

I made a stand.

Does a great job of holding a vase of flowers.

His was a failure.

Custer was a pretty good officer in the Civil War. He made the brevet rank of brigadier general at age 23. He was a good tactician, but in a spot-the-opportunity sense, out in the field. He wasn’t one to sit down and plan things and consider possible situations.

He resented his pot-war reduction in rank very much, and was always trying to prove himself as ‘better than that.’ He wasn’t really suited to independent command, and his personality caused a lot of friction with those under him, which actually contributed to his defeat at Little Big Horn.

A Captain Bligh personality?

Tamb said:

captain_spalding said:

Tamb said:

His was a failure.

Custer was a pretty good officer in the Civil War. He made the brevet rank of brigadier general at age 23. He was a good tactician, but in a spot-the-opportunity sense, out in the field. He wasn’t one to sit down and plan things and consider possible situations.

He resented his pot-war reduction in rank very much, and was always trying to prove himself as ‘better than that.’ He wasn’t really suited to independent command, and his personality caused a lot of friction with those under him, which actually contributed to his defeat at Little Big Horn.

A Captain Bligh personality?

Had a big head. Thought he was just it.

Scott Morrison flies into a remote country town for a photo op. He asks locals if he can do anything for them.

“Well yes,” says the mayor. “We have two problems. First, we have a hospital but no
doctor.”

“Right,” says the PM, who whips out his phone, talks for a couple of minutes, then says: “Fixed it. A doctor will be here on Monday. What’s your second problem?”.

“We have no mobile phone coverage”.

Bogsnorkler said:

Scott Morrison flies into a remote country town for a photo op. He asks locals if he can do anything for them.

“Well yes,” says the mayor. “We have two problems. First, we have a hospital but no
doctor.”

“Right,” says the PM, who whips out his phone, talks for a couple of minutes, then says: “Fixed it. A doctor will be here on Monday. What’s your second problem?”.

“We have no mobile phone coverage”.

Well, Morrison doesn’t want to tell a doctor what to do or where to work. His plan is that the hospital is there and if a doctor wants to come, they’ll come. Job done…

furious said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Scott Morrison flies into a remote country town for a photo op. He asks locals if he can do anything for them.

“Well yes,” says the mayor. “We have two problems. First, we have a hospital but no
doctor.”

“Right,” says the PM, who whips out his phone, talks for a couple of minutes, then says: “Fixed it. A doctor will be here on Monday. What’s your second problem?”.

“We have no mobile phone coverage”.

Well, Morrison doesn’t want to tell a doctor what to do or where to work. His plan is that the hospital is there and if a doctor wants to come, they’ll come. Job done…

why not say that then instead of a fake phone call?

Bogsnorkler said:

furious said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Scott Morrison flies into a remote country town for a photo op. He asks locals if he can do anything for them.

“Well yes,” says the mayor. “We have two problems. First, we have a hospital but no
doctor.”

“Right,” says the PM, who whips out his phone, talks for a couple of minutes, then says: “Fixed it. A doctor will be here on Monday. What’s your second problem?”.

“We have no mobile phone coverage”.

Well, Morrison doesn’t want to tell a doctor what to do or where to work. His plan is that the hospital is there and if a doctor wants to come, they’ll come. Job done…

why not say that then instead of a fake phone call?

I assume be because it was meant to be a joke?

furious said:

Bogsnorkler said:

furious said:

Well, Morrison doesn’t want to tell a doctor what to do or where to work. His plan is that the hospital is there and if a doctor wants to come, they’ll come. Job done…

why not say that then instead of a fake phone call?

I assume be because it was meant to be a joke?

glad you’ve caught up. anything else i can help with?

Bogsnorkler said:

furious said:

Bogsnorkler said:

why not say that then instead of a fake phone call?

I assume be because it was meant to be a joke?

glad you’ve caught up. anything else i can help with?

Probably…

furious said:

Bogsnorkler said:

furious said:

I assume be because it was meant to be a joke?

glad you’ve caught up. anything else i can help with?

Probably…

tell unca boris and we’ll nut it out together.

Bogsnorkler said:

Scott Morrison flies into a remote country town for a photo op. He asks locals if he can do anything for them.

“Well yes,” says the mayor. “We have two problems. First, we have a hospital but no
doctor.”

“Right,” says the PM, who whips out his phone, talks for a couple of minutes, then says: “Fixed it. A doctor will be here on Monday. What’s your second problem?”.

“We have no mobile phone coverage”.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Michael V said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Scott Morrison flies into a remote country town for a photo op. He asks locals if he can do anything for them.

“Well yes,” says the mayor. “We have two problems. First, we have a hospital but no
doctor.”

“Right,” says the PM, who whips out his phone, talks for a couple of minutes, then says: “Fixed it. A doctor will be here on Monday. What’s your second problem?”.

“We have no mobile phone coverage”.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

I’m going to use that :)

furious said:

Bogsnorkler said:

furious said:

Well, Morrison doesn’t want to tell a doctor what to do or where to work. His plan is that the hospital is there and if a doctor wants to come, they’ll come. Job done…

why not say that then instead of a fake phone call?

I assume be because it was meant to be a joke?

The only problem with that is that Scott Morrison isn’t joking when he does it.

roughbarked said:

furious said:

Bogsnorkler said:

why not say that then instead of a fake phone call?

I assume be because it was meant to be a joke?

The only problem with that is that Scott Morrison isn’t joking when he does it.

maybe he whipped out his landline ‘phone

Spiny Norman said:

Follow Singapore and legislate no medical or hospital expenses to be reimbursed to people who are not vaccinated without medical justification and then contract COVID. You ignored warnings and got the disease. You pay for your wilful stupidity, not the rest of us.

Bob Carr

I think that would be funny and appropriate.

Bogsnorkler said:

Follow Singapore and legislate no medical or hospital expenses to be reimbursed to people who are not vaccinated without medical justification and then contract COVID. You ignored warnings and got the disease. You pay for your wilful stupidity, not the rest of us.

Bob Carr

I think that would be funny and appropriate.

I’ve suggested similar in the past for parents who refused to have their kids vaccinated. They have to sign a waiver, which acknowledges that they had the opportunity for vaccination, and refused, and if their kid gets the relevant disease, then they understand that they will be billed for every cent of the cost of the child’s treatment.

People here thought the idea absurd. Bob Carrt says it, and applause breaks out.

captain_spalding said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Follow Singapore and legislate no medical or hospital expenses to be reimbursed to people who are not vaccinated without medical justification and then contract COVID. You ignored warnings and got the disease. You pay for your wilful stupidity, not the rest of us.

Bob Carr

I think that would be funny and appropriate.

I’ve suggested similar in the past for parents who refused to have their kids vaccinated. They have to sign a waiver, which acknowledges that they had the opportunity for vaccination, and refused, and if their kid gets the relevant disease, then they understand that they will be billed for every cent of the cost of the child’s treatment.

People here thought the idea absurd. Bob Carrt says it, and applause breaks out.

well, the actual lead in to that snippets was ‘say what?” and the footer “Former NSW premier and Gillard-era foreign minister Bob Carr calls for Australia to follow the lead of authoritarian Singapore and deprive the unvaccinated of free medical care, even though that is not how Medicare or public health works.”

Bogsnorkler said:

captain_spalding said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Follow Singapore and legislate no medical or hospital expenses to be reimbursed to people who are not vaccinated without medical justification and then contract COVID. You ignored warnings and got the disease. You pay for your wilful stupidity, not the rest of us.

Bob Carr

I think that would be funny and appropriate.

I’ve suggested similar in the past for parents who refused to have their kids vaccinated. They have to sign a waiver, which acknowledges that they had the opportunity for vaccination, and refused, and if their kid gets the relevant disease, then they understand that they will be billed for every cent of the cost of the child’s treatment.

People here thought the idea absurd. Bob Carrt says it, and applause breaks out.

well, the actual lead in to that snippets was ‘say what?” and the footer “Former NSW premier and Gillard-era foreign minister Bob Carr calls for Australia to follow the lead of authoritarian Singapore and deprive the unvaccinated of free medical care, even though that is not how Medicare or public health works.”

Yeah, well, ok, they’re entitled to the same public health medical care as the rest of us.

But, can’t we at least humiliate them in some way?

captain_spalding said:

Bogsnorkler said:

captain_spalding said:

I’ve suggested similar in the past for parents who refused to have their kids vaccinated. They have to sign a waiver, which acknowledges that they had the opportunity for vaccination, and refused, and if their kid gets the relevant disease, then they understand that they will be billed for every cent of the cost of the child’s treatment.

People here thought the idea absurd. Bob Carrt says it, and applause breaks out.

well, the actual lead in to that snippets was ‘say what?” and the footer “Former NSW premier and Gillard-era foreign minister Bob Carr calls for Australia to follow the lead of authoritarian Singapore and deprive the unvaccinated of free medical care, even though that is not how Medicare or public health works.”

Yeah, well, ok, they’re entitled to the same public health medical care as the rest of us.

But, can’t we at least humiliate them in some way?

a public flogging?

Bogsnorkler said:

captain_spalding said:

Bogsnorkler said:

well, the actual lead in to that snippets was ‘say what?” and the footer “Former NSW premier and Gillard-era foreign minister Bob Carr calls for Australia to follow the lead of authoritarian Singapore and deprive the unvaccinated of free medical care, even though that is not how Medicare or public health works.”

Yeah, well, ok, they’re entitled to the same public health medical care as the rest of us.

But, can’t we at least humiliate them in some way?

a public flogging?

Tattoo of dick & balls on forehead.

Bogsnorkler said:

captain_spalding said:

Bogsnorkler said:

well, the actual lead in to that snippets was ‘say what?” and the footer “Former NSW premier and Gillard-era foreign minister Bob Carr calls for Australia to follow the lead of authoritarian Singapore and deprive the unvaccinated of free medical care, even though that is not how Medicare or public health works.”

Yeah, well, ok, they’re entitled to the same public health medical care as the rest of us.

But, can’t we at least humiliate them in some way?

a public flogging?

Yeah, but no need to inflict physical harm. Public flogging with sticks of stale celery.

Tamb said:

Bogsnorkler said:

captain_spalding said:

Yeah, well, ok, they’re entitled to the same public health medical care as the rest of us.

But, can’t we at least humiliate them in some way?

a public flogging?

Tattoo of dick & balls on forehead.

The word ‘stupid’ painted across the forehead with ninhydrine. Won’t wash off, but fades away. Eventually.

captain_spalding said:

Bogsnorkler said:

captain_spalding said:

I’ve suggested similar in the past for parents who refused to have their kids vaccinated. They have to sign a waiver, which acknowledges that they had the opportunity for vaccination, and refused, and if their kid gets the relevant disease, then they understand that they will be billed for every cent of the cost of the child’s treatment.

People here thought the idea absurd. Bob Carrt says it, and applause breaks out.

well, the actual lead in to that snippets was ‘say what?” and the footer “Former NSW premier and Gillard-era foreign minister Bob Carr calls for Australia to follow the lead of authoritarian Singapore and deprive the unvaccinated of free medical care, even though that is not how Medicare or public health works.”

Yeah, well, ok, they’re entitled to the same public health medical care as the rest of us.

But, can’t we at least humiliate them in some way?

Point and laugh when they catch COVID.

what if you have to be a citizen to be covered by Medicare what then eh

Bogsnorkler said:

IDGI

Michael V said:

Bogsnorkler said:

IDGI

Stealing chips?

The Rev Dodgson said:

Michael V said:

Bogsnorkler said:

IDGI

Stealing chips?

You Get The Crown

The Rev Dodgson said:

Michael V said:

Bogsnorkler said:

IDGI

Stealing chips?

I see. Thanks.

sibeen said:

LOLOLOLOL

:)

sibeen said:

LOL

sibeen said:

Drinking credits brought forward…

Interesting concept.

The Rev Dodgson said:

Michael V said:

Bogsnorkler said:

IDGI

Stealing chips?

I had a seagull as a boss once.

He’d fly in with much noise and excitement, shit all over everything then fuck off leaving us to clean up the mess.

The Rev Dodgson said:

Michael V said:

Bogsnorkler said:

IDGI

Stealing chips?

I had a seagull as a boss once.

He’d fly in with much noise and excitement, shit all over everything then fuck off leaving us to clean up the mess.

Lunch will be ham sandwiches and a cuppa.
Over.

Dark Orange said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Michael V said:

IDGI

Stealing chips?

I had a seagull as a boss once.

He’d fly in with much noise and excitement, shit all over everything then fuck off leaving us to clean up the mess.

I had a boss named Barry, like the cyclone.
They complimented each other. Stuffed around being a nuisance, didn’t amount to anything & finally deteriorated into an intense depression.

Tamb said:

Dark Orange said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Stealing chips?

I had a seagull as a boss once.

He’d fly in with much noise and excitement, shit all over everything then fuck off leaving us to clean up the mess.

I had a boss named Barry, like the cyclone.
They complimented each other. Stuffed around being a nuisance, didn’t amount to anything & finally deteriorated into an intense depression.

I presentented him with a packet of chips at one of the christmas parties awards segment. He thought it was hilarious. The other board members, not so much.

Bogsnorkler said:

:)

JACK AND THE TWODERFUL BEANS

Twice upon a time there lived a boy named Jack in the twoderful land of Califivenia. Two day Jack, a double-minded lad, decided three go fifth three seek his fivetune.

After making sure that Jack nine a sandwich and drank some Eight-Up, his mother elevenderly said, “Threedeloo, threedeloo. Try three be back by next Threesday.” Then she cheered, “Three, five, seven, nine. Who do we apprecinine? Jack, Jack, yay!”

Jack set fifth and soon met a man wearing a four-piece suit and a threepee. Fifthrightly Jack asked the man, “I’m a Califivenian. Are you two three?”

“Cerelevenly,” replied the man, offiving the high six. “Anytwo five elevennis?”

“Not threeday,” answered Jack inelevently. “But can you help me three locnine my fivetune?”

“Sure,” said the man. “Let me sell you these twoderful beans.”

Jack’s inthreeition told him that the man was a three-faced triple-crosser. Elevensely Jack shouted, “I’m not behind the nine ball. I’m a college gradunine, and I know what rights our fivefathers crenined in the Constithreetion. Now let’s get down three baseven about these beans.”

The man tripled over with laughter. “Now hold on a third,” he responded. “There’s no need three make such a three-do about these beans. If you twot, I’ll give them three you.”

Well, there’s no need three elabornine on the rest of the tale. Jack oned in on the giant and two the battle for the golden eggs. His mother and he lived happily fivever after — and so on, and so on, and so fifth.

Victor Borge.

Bogsnorkler said:

Sounds more like an American Jesus to me.

of

Ian said:

of

I approve of this cartoon.

dv said:

I laughed because resistance was useless.

Bogsnorkler said:

dv said:

I laughed because resistance was useless.

Surly there must be an ohmbudsman we can refer this stuff to.

Ian said:

of

Needs another frame IRISHMAN, with an Irishman saying some funny Irish thing.

Bubblecar said:

Ian said:

of

Needs another frame IRISHMAN, with an Irishman saying some funny Irish thing.

uh seems like the frames are designed to challenge stereotypes

but maybe you’re right, they need a tall Celtic man holding it up so the string is loose and crying out “aboo” as he lets go

Spiny Norman said:

Poor Sod.

Spiny Norman said:

:))

Spiny Norman said:

Belong Bezos

The early bird is the worm

Divine Angel said:

Weirdness.

Michael V said:

Divine Angel said:

Weirdness.

Then again there will also be people strongly in support of vaccination who oppose forced “natural” infection of children for flock immunity who also pull kids from school until such time as they can be given their appropriate vaccinations.

Don’t know about those real umbilical certificates though.

SCIENCE said:

Michael V said:

Divine Angel said:

Weirdness.

Then again there will also be people strongly in support of vaccination who oppose forced “natural” infection of children for flock immunity who also pull kids from school until such time as they can be given their appropriate vaccinations.

Don’t know about those real umbilical certificates though.

All I know is that someone cut mine off and took it away.

SCIENCE said:

Michael V said:

Divine Angel said:

Weirdness.

Then again there will also be people strongly in support of vaccination who oppose forced “natural” infection of children for flock immunity who also pull kids from school until such time as they can be given their appropriate vaccinations.

Don’t know about those real umbilical certificates though.

for any of this to be true we all need to agree on monotheism… which is clearly a lie, because one entity alone could not fuck things up as spectacularly as this earth experiment you humans are on.

Arts said:

SCIENCE said:

Michael V said:

Weirdness.

Then again there will also be people strongly in support of vaccination who oppose forced “natural” infection of children for flock immunity who also pull kids from school until such time as they can be given their appropriate vaccinations.

Don’t know about those real umbilical certificates though.

for any of this to be true we all need to agree on monotheism… which is clearly a lie, because one entity alone could not fuck things up as spectacularly as this earth experiment you humans are on.

A god with infinite powers can do anything she damn well pleases.

Arts said:

SCIENCE said:

Michael V said:

Weirdness.

Then again there will also be people strongly in support of vaccination who oppose forced “natural” infection of children for flock immunity who also pull kids from school until such time as they can be given their appropriate vaccinations.

Don’t know about those real umbilical certificates though.

for any of this to be true we all need to agree on monotheism… which is clearly a lie, because one entity alone could not fuck things up as spectacularly as this earth experiment you humans are on.

If that one God was a benefcient God then why would it look like this many idiots?
the world population is the total number of humans currently living, and was estimated to have exceeded 7.9 billion people as of November 2021. It took over 2 million years of human prehistory and history for the world’s population to reach 1 billion and only 200 years more to grow to 7 billion.

SCIENCE said:

Then again there will also be people strongly in support of vaccination who oppose forced “natural” infection of children for flock immunity who also pull kids from school until such time as they can be given their appropriate vaccinations.

Several kids in Mini Me’s class live with/are cared for by grandparents. One such grandparent, known to all as Pop, will be pulling his grandkids out next year. It’s not worth the risk when viruses looooooooove schools. (I have made the decision to pull our writers’ open mic next year; our audience’s average age is 75. Not worth the risk.)

Divine Angel said:

SCIENCE said:

Then again there will also be people strongly in support of vaccination who oppose forced “natural” infection of children for flock immunity who also pull kids from school until such time as they can be given their appropriate vaccinations.

Several kids in Mini Me’s class live with/are cared for by grandparents. One such grandparent, known to all as Pop, will be pulling his grandkids out next year. It’s not worth the risk when viruses looooooooove schools. (I have made the decision to pull our writers’ open mic next year; our audience’s average age is 75. Not worth the risk.)

You can’t do it on-line?

Dark Orange said:

I wonder what it was meant to be?

We endorse protective public health measures ✊ and support innovation to develop alternative means of achieving societal goals 👊 until such time as safety can be improved 👍.

Michael V said:

Dark Orange said:

I wonder what it was meant to be?

Probably this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0

Michael V said:

Dark Orange said:

I wonder what it was meant to be?

‘A funny thing happened on the way to the morgue tonight, folks…’

The Rev Dodgson said:

Divine Angel said:

SCIENCE said:

Then again there will also be people strongly in support of vaccination who oppose forced “natural” infection of children for flock immunity who also pull kids from school until such time as they can be given their appropriate vaccinations.

Several kids in Mini Me’s class live with/are cared for by grandparents. One such grandparent, known to all as Pop, will be pulling his grandkids out next year. It’s not worth the risk when viruses looooooooove schools. (I have made the decision to pull our writers’ open mic next year; our audience’s average age is 75. Not worth the risk.)

You can’t do it on-line?

Boomers and Zoom? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Divine Angel said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

Divine Angel said:

Several kids in Mini Me’s class live with/are cared for by grandparents. One such grandparent, known to all as Pop, will be pulling his grandkids out next year. It’s not worth the risk when viruses looooooooove schools. (I have made the decision to pull our writers’ open mic next year; our audience’s average age is 75. Not worth the risk.)

You can’t do it on-line?

Boomers and Zoom? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That’s Damned Ageist DA.

dv said:

LOL.

Boonie: the keg with legs…

dv said:

:)

Boonie 52 not out!

Dark Orange said:

Heh

Bogsnorkler said:

:)

Ian said:

Bogsnorkler said:

:)

+1

mollwollfumble said:

:)

roughbarked said:

mollwollfumble said:

:)

we had a fox blocking our road once

SCIENCE said:

roughbarked said:

mollwollfumble said:

:)

we had a fox blocking our road once

My uncle used to sleep in a Man.

SCIENCE said:

roughbarked said:

mollwollfumble said:

:)

we had a fox blocking our road once

Lindsey is everywhere.

What do you call a chicken crossing the road?

Poultry in motion.

monkey skipper said:

What do you call a chicken crossing the road?

Poultry in motion.

I’d pay that except it usually ends up flat out.

Just joined a Facepalm group, to help me interpret a mates texts.

Bogsnorkler said:

Lu-Tze and time slicing:

https://arounddate.com/terry-pratchett-the-thief-of-time/27/

I love “Thief of Time”. It’s one of the best books. Up there with “Reaper Man”.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T8zYeLpmsm0

Bogsnorkler said:

Not funny.

Not funny at all.

Spiny Norman said:

Oops.

giggle

sibeen said:

LOL

:)

Bogsnorkler said:

Awww. Diddums.

Bogsnorkler said:

fuck it pisses me off. Grandfather and father served so grandchildren can quote Braveheart.

Bogsnorkler said:

My grandfather served in both WWI and WWII and that doesn’t make me a selfish arsehole.

Bogsnorkler said:

She is wearing those medals on the wrong side if they are not hers.

Dark Orange said:

Bogsnorkler said:

My grandfather served in both WWI and WWII and that doesn’t make me a selfish arsehole.

The mind boggles at what goes on in other people’s heads. My grandfather and uncles fought in the first war. They left my father to run the farm aged 12.
Dad was at Tobruk, El Alemain, Syria, then to the Kokoda track. I’m double vaccinated.

Dark Orange said:

Dear oh dear…

Michael V said:

Dark Orange said:

Dear oh dear…

+1

Spiny Norman said:

I’ve tried that; it doesn’t work.

Bogsnorkler said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPwQ0PmK9lw&ab_channel=BBCComedyGreats

Bogsnorkler said:

sigh

And this, everyone, is the greatest video of all time:

https://twitter.com/jaylawrence91/status/1460581564023283714?

Witty Rejoinder said:

And this, everyone, is the greatest video of all time:

https://twitter.com/jaylawrence91/status/1460581564023283714?

Not scripted at all…

In general the right try and put the rights of the individual in front of the collective and the left try and put the rights of the collective in front of the individual, it get blurry at the convergence.

Witty Rejoinder said:

And this, everyone, is the greatest video of all time:

https://twitter.com/jaylawrence91/status/1460581564023283714?

It’s like Abbott & Costello.

Peak Warming Man said:

In general the right try and put the rights of the individual in front of the collective and the left try and put the rights of the collective in front of the individual, it get blurry at the convergence.

Nah.

Peak Warming Man said:

In general the right try and put the rights of the individual in front of the collective and the left try and put the rights of the collective in front of the individual, it get blurry at the convergence.

Funny.

Bubblecar said:

Peak Warming Man said:

In general the right try and put the rights of the individual in front of the collective and the left try and put the rights of the collective in front of the individual, it get blurry at the convergence.

Nah.

You only need to look at one particular recent issue – same sex marriage – to find that most of the people on that list were on the NO side, opposed to expanding individual rights and freedoms, and in favour of reinforcing traditional collective norms.

Peak Warming Man said:

In general the right try and put the rights of the individual in front of the collective and the left try and put the rights of the collective in front of the individual, it get blurry at the convergence.

Not any more. That sort of thinking went out decades ago.

The right embrace capitalism as a moral philosophy where the “rights” of the market trump anything else. The left see capitalism as evil. Centrists like me see the market as neither intrinsically good nor evil, just as a tool for the distribution of goods and services.

party_pants said:

Peak Warming Man said:

In general the right try and put the rights of the individual in front of the collective and the left try and put the rights of the collective in front of the individual, it get blurry at the convergence.

Not any more. That sort of thinking went out decades ago.

The right embrace capitalism as a moral philosophy where the “rights” of the market trump anything else. The left see capitalism as evil. Centrists like me see the market as neither intrinsically good nor evil, just as a tool for the distribution of goods and services.

I don’t see capitalism as evil. But I don’t like that we all vote and a bunch of overseas companies has a greater say than we do.

This isn’t funny.

Peak Warming Man said:

In general the right try and put the rights of the individual in front of the collective and the left try and put the rights of the collective in front of the individual, it get blurry at the convergence.

I’d argue that right-wing politics is about selfishness and oppression. Right whingers want to control other people (eg prohibiting abortion; supporting capital punishment), but don’t want that control applied to themselves. They want a free market as long as they’re selling and can maximise their returns, but complain when it adversely affects them (eg if someone’s used to seeing the cricket on FTA TV and the TV station owners decide to show it on pay TV instead.)

JudgeMental said:

Heh.

Bubblecar said:

JudgeMental said:

Heh.

+1

JudgeMental said:

Very sneaky, start off looking like you’re saying the ‘right’ thing, and end up delivering a message of encouragement to the violent, “yeah, go ahead, cause trouble, it’s a Labor state, go nuts, folks’.

The same slimy duplicitous shit we’ve come to expect from him.

JudgeMental said:

I thought governments made legislation that became law when passed by both houses which effectively told Australians what they can and cannot do? I think this has been going on for longer than a couple of years.

captain_spalding said:

JudgeMental said:

Very sneaky, start off looking like you’re saying the ‘right’ thing, and end up delivering a message of encouragement to the violent, “yeah, go ahead, cause trouble, it’s a Labor state, go nuts, folks’.

The same slimy duplicitous shit we’ve come to expect from him.

Yeah, I was just listening to audio of that. He got a lot more emphatic about the latter message.

Gives slimy duplicitous shit a bad name.

Ian said:

captain_spalding said:

JudgeMental said:

Very sneaky, start off looking like you’re saying the ‘right’ thing, and end up delivering a message of encouragement to the violent, “yeah, go ahead, cause trouble, it’s a Labor state, go nuts, folks’.

The same slimy duplicitous shit we’ve come to expect from him.

Yeah, I was just listening to audio of that. He got a lot more emphatic about the latter message.

Gives slimy duplicitous shit a bad name.

I noticed that too when I heard it yesterday.

Spiny Norman said:

You bastard.

sibeen said:

Spiny Norman said:

You bastard.

So what happens? I thought of using my phone check-in app but then thought, “What if it explodes my phone?”

Bubblecar said:

sibeen said:

Spiny Norman said:

You bastard.

So what happens? I thought of using my phone check-in app but then thought, “What if it explodes my phone?”

It explodes your phone.

sibeen said:

Bubblecar said:

sibeen said:

You bastard.

So what happens? I thought of using my phone check-in app but then thought, “What if it explodes my phone?”

It explodes your phone.

Or you get Rickrolled.

sibeen said:

Bubblecar said:

sibeen said:

You bastard.

So what happens? I thought of using my phone check-in app but then thought, “What if it explodes my phone?”

It explodes your phone.

Ooh.

Must make hundreds of copies and plaster them on walls all around the town.

sibeen said:

Bubblecar said:

sibeen said:

You bastard.

So what happens? I thought of using my phone check-in app but then thought, “What if it explodes my phone?”

It explodes your phone.

Actually it just said: This is not a Tas check in QR code. Please see venue staff for assistance.

sibeen said:

sibeen said:

Bubblecar said:

So what happens? I thought of using my phone check-in app but then thought, “What if it explodes my phone?”

It explodes your phone.

Or you get Rickrolled.

Really?

Then, i’d better not paste up the copies all around town.

I can countenance exploding phones, because i’m a bastard, but, Rick Astley…no-one’s that much of a bastard.

Bubblecar said:

sibeen said:

Bubblecar said:

So what happens? I thought of using my phone check-in app but then thought, “What if it explodes my phone?”

It explodes your phone.

Actually it just said: This is not a Tas check in QR code. Please see venue staff for assistance.

Sort of ‘these are not the droids…’?

captain_spalding said:

Bubblecar said:

sibeen said:

It explodes your phone.

Actually it just said: This is not a Tas check in QR code. Please see venue staff for assistance.

Sort of ‘these are not the droids…’?

I’m still looking for venue staff.

sibeen said:

Spiny Norman said:

You bastard.

OI !! Beeny Boy!! Gawn….. back ta bed. Gawn!! Off ya go. Ya ain’t had enuff beauty sleep yet.

Woodie said:

sibeen said:

Spiny Norman said:

You bastard.

OI !! Beeny Boy!! Gawn….. back ta bed. Gawn!! Off ya go. Ya ain’t had enuff beauty sleep yet.

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

Bubblecar said:

Woodie said:

sibeen said:

You bastard.

OI !! Beeny Boy!! Gawn….. back ta bed. Gawn!! Off ya go. Ya ain’t had enuff beauty sleep yet.

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

Has sparkies come round at 7:30 to do some work in the kitchen. I answered the door with a beer in my hand :)

sibeen said:

Bubblecar said:

Woodie said:

OI !! Beeny Boy!! Gawn….. back ta bed. Gawn!! Off ya go. Ya ain’t had enuff beauty sleep yet.

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

Has sparkies come round at 7:30 to do some work in the kitchen. I answered the door with a beer in my hand :)

Think I can safely say I’ve never answered a door with a beer in my hand. I would tend to put it down somewhere first.

Bubblecar said:

Woodie said:

sibeen said:

You bastard.

OI !! Beeny Boy!! Gawn….. back ta bed. Gawn!! Off ya go. Ya ain’t had enuff beauty sleep yet.

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

seems pretty on brand to me

Spiny Norman said:

TIL I can just tap & hold on the iPad for this to automatically open.

Bubblecar said:

sibeen said:

Bubblecar said:

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

Has sparkies come round at 7:30 to do some work in the kitchen. I answered the door with a beer in my hand :)

Think I can safely say I’ve never answered a door with a beer in my hand. I would tend to put it down somewhere first.

I’ve also never answered the door with a beer in my hand. Mainly because I don’t drink beer.

captain_spalding said:

sibeen said:

sibeen said:

It explodes your phone.

Or you get Rickrolled.

Really?

Then, i’d better not paste up the copies all around town.

I can countenance exploding phones, because i’m a bastard, but, Rick Astley…no-one’s that much of a bastard.

Oh really?

sibeen said:

Bubblecar said:

Woodie said:

OI !! Beeny Boy!! Gawn….. back ta bed. Gawn!! Off ya go. Ya ain’t had enuff beauty sleep yet.

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

Has sparkies come round at 7:30 to do some work in the kitchen. I answered the door with a beer in my hand :)

Unshaven and in ya jocks?

Divine Angel said:

Bubblecar said:

sibeen said:

Has sparkies come round at 7:30 to do some work in the kitchen. I answered the door with a beer in my hand :)

Think I can safely say I’ve never answered a door with a beer in my hand. I would tend to put it down somewhere first.

I’ve also never answered the door with a beer in my hand. Mainly because I don’t drink beer.

Hard liquor?

sibeen said:

sibeen said:

Bubblecar said:

So what happens? I thought of using my phone check-in app but then thought, “What if it explodes my phone?”

It explodes your phone.

Or you get Rickrolled.

I explained Rickrolling to Mr buffy only yesterday. I thought he knew what it was.

Bubblecar said:

Woodie said:

sibeen said:

You bastard.

OI !! Beeny Boy!! Gawn….. back ta bed. Gawn!! Off ya go. Ya ain’t had enuff beauty sleep yet.

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

Mr buffy used to know where the relevent pub was for the ambos and police coming off night shift at 7.00am. Down in what is now Docklands area in Melbourne.

buffy said:

Bubblecar said:

Woodie said:

OI !! Beeny Boy!! Gawn….. back ta bed. Gawn!! Off ya go. Ya ain’t had enuff beauty sleep yet.

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

Mr buffy used to know where the relevent pub was for the ambos and police coming off night shift at 7.00am. Down in what is now Docklands area in Melbourne.

Watersiders pub. Cnr Spencer and Flinders St. A lot of the gay community (including me) used to end up there too, after a good night out, for early openers at 6am.

Woodie said:

buffy said:

Bubblecar said:

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

Mr buffy used to know where the relevent pub was for the ambos and police coming off night shift at 7.00am. Down in what is now Docklands area in Melbourne.

Watersiders pub. Cnr Spencer and Flinders St. A lot of the gay community (including me) used to end up there too, after a good night out, for early openers at 6am.

That’s the one.

:)

Woodie said:

buffy said:

Bubblecar said:

I don’t like this idea of sibeen being up all night and drinking invalid stout at breakfast time, it ain’t right.

Mr buffy used to know where the relevent pub was for the ambos and police coming off night shift at 7.00am. Down in what is now Docklands area in Melbourne.

Watersiders pub. Cnr Spencer and Flinders St. A lot of the gay community (including me) used to end up there too, after a good night out, for early openers at 6am.

Waterside, used to drive past that one on the way to work.

Spiny Norman said:

Heh.

Spiny Norman said:

drawer, not draw.

But an evil thing to do anyway.

:)

Bubblecar said:

Spiny Norman said:

Heh.

I find the typos in that annoying. But it’s got a funny story.

Spiny Norman said:

Sounds a lot like a get-together at the old Sizzler restaurants.

One for DO:

Drifting in my Capella 1BUCK80 OFFICIAL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlH_sZ6LhEE

Witty Rejoinder said:

One for DO:

Drifting in my Capella 1BUCK80 OFFICIAL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlH_sZ6LhEE

This may amuse you DO.

Witty Rejoinder said:

Witty Rejoinder said:

One for DO:

Drifting in my Capella 1BUCK80 OFFICIAL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlH_sZ6LhEE

This may amuse you DO.

Amuse it does, thanks. Spent much time with the portrayed stereotypes when I lived in Sydney. :)

JudgeMental said:

Hold on, don’t the Yanks have the ‘They’re-Banning-Thanksgiving’ season to get through before that?

JudgeMental said:

Banning poppies? Haven’t heard of that one before…

JudgeMental said:

Uh-oh.

Spiny Norman said:

Might have been worse. Running on Windows 8.

Not a funny, but well worth posting I reckon.

Spiny Norman said:

Not a funny, but well worth posting I reckon.

You’re right. Perhaps it should have gone in meme a little meme for me.

sarahs mum said:

Spiny Norman said:

Not a funny, but well worth posting I reckon.

You’re right. Perhaps it should have gone in meme a little meme for me.

Well, it depends on what you read…

JudgeMental said:

Yeah, a really big dog…

captain_spalding said:

JudgeMental said:

Yeah, a really big dog…

Or that lady is a little person, I mean, look at the size of the t shirt she is wearing…

furious said:

captain_spalding said:

JudgeMental said:

Yeah, a really big dog…

Or that lady is a little person, I mean, look at the size of the t shirt she is wearing…

LOLOLOLOL

furious said:

captain_spalding said:

JudgeMental said:

Yeah, a really big dog…

Or that lady is a little person, I mean, look at the size of the t shirt she is wearing…

In case you were wondering what sort of dog, it’s a lab coat.

JudgeMental said:

Except the tiger is an ambush predator.

PermeateFree said:

JudgeMental said:

Except the tiger is an ambush predator.

Yep, that was pointed out wherever that was posted. A short dash and if you miss go have a lay down.

:-)

PermeateFree said:

JudgeMental said:

Except the tiger is an ambush predator.

Also the tiger’s top speed is understated and the deer’s overstated.

JudgeMental said:

Nailed it.

JudgeMental said:

Selene and Gaia might not say much but they’re a pretty big part of that movie. Plus they have a pretty big dance number…

Spiny Norman said:

I don’t think stolen plates are worth an emergency call, maybe try their non emergency number or, I don’t know, go to the cop shop and make a report…

furious said:

I don’t think stolen plates are worth an emergency call…

Who ya gonna call

JudgeMental said:

:)

I don’t know if I’ve posted these here before, but here they are (again) anyway …

Speedy said:

I don’t know if I’ve posted these here before, but here they are (again) anyway …

JudgeMental said:

Speedy said:

I don’t know if I’ve posted these here before, but here they are (again) anyway …

I was going to give a rather pedantic explanation of what a real engineer would say, but that one is both more amusing and more accurate.

Spiny Norman said:

Yeah … water memory ….for paper memory…

Flipper “spoke” Kookaburra.

JudgeMental said:

Flipper “spoke” Kookaburra.

One of Nietzsche’s lesser known works.

Witty Rejoinder said:

JudgeMental said:

Flipper “spoke” Kookaburra.

One of Nietzsche’s lesser known works.

Flipper was always a female because they didn’t have the fighting scars the males did so swapping them around wasn’t noticeable. The only male was the tail walking one.