:)

:)

:)

The toss has been delayed due to a bit of rain, but the covers are off.

I wonder if perth will get its test back now we have the germ?

Australia have won the toss and elected to bowl.

JudgeMental said:

I wonder if perth will get its test back now we have the germ?

I doubt it.

FUCK OFF

Goddim

Hameed goes for a duck.

Michael V said:

Goddim

Hameed goes for a duck.

Mmmmmm duck.

JudgeMental said:

Michael V said:

Goddim

Hameed goes for a duck.

Mmmmmm duck.

Clearly the man was craving it.

FUCK OFF

Crawley gone for 12.

Twopoeners for 12 runs.

Woodie reckons they couldn’t open a fridge door.

Thems pomms couldn’t open a fridge door, let alone a test match.

I suppose I shouldn’t speak too soon but I wasn’t expecting this series to be one sided

dv said:

I suppose I shouldn’t speak too soon but I wasn’t expecting this series to be one sided

Plenty of time yet.
It is that boring drawn out test match stuff, remember?
It isn’t 20/20

FUCK OFF

Malan gone for 14

Cummins three-fa.

… and the boats are off and racing. Next stop – Hobart.

So Australia have debuted a player in each test so far.

FUCK OFF

Root out for 50.

Statc – caught behind.

Michael V said:

Root out for 50.

Statc – caught behind.

Starc…

FUCK OFF

Stokes gone for 25 off Green,

OK. I changed my mind my. Winning the toss and deciding to bowl first _was_a good idea.

party_pants said:

OK. I changed my mind my. Winning the toss and deciding to bowl first was a good idea.

+space

FUCK OFF

LYON!

Buttler out for 3

sixfa.

Boland!

First test wicket.

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

Another wicket gone. Eight-fa.

Anderson’s yet to bat.

Peak Warming Man said:

Anderson’s yet to bat.

Yes, there is that…

Lyon gets Leach!

FUCK OFF

Michael V said:

Lyon gets Leach!

Nobody looks particularly excited.

FUCK OFF

ENG 185

Aus to bat…

Well then. Another poor first innings with the bat for England and Wales.

That said, we’ll have to wait and see how the Aussies go batting on this pitch.

Another poor first innings with the bat for England and Wales.

—

It’s not much of an England and Wales lineup.

Anderson ran out of partners.

Ian said:

Another poor first innings with the bat for England and Wales.

—

It’s not much of an England and Wales lineup.

Perhaps they should all just FUCK OFF as the Victorian gent suggested.

So…….They’re all outfa.

Warner out for 38.

Stumps: Aus 1/61.

Michael V said:

Stumps: Aus 1/61.

Not a bad day’s play for Australia. Shame about the late wicket, but overall I think happiness is prevailing in the Australian camp, while England and Wales must be very unhappy campers.

party_pants said:

Michael V said:

Stumps: Aus 1/61.

Not a bad day’s play for Australia. Shame about the late wicket, but overall I think happiness is prevailing in the Australian camp, while England and Wales must be very unhappy campers.

Scott Boland proved to be a smart choice.

England players are told to stay in their hotel after a member of the team’s family group returns a positive COVID test.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-12-27/ashes-boxing-day-test-day-two-live-blog-covid/100726612

Lyon gone for 10.

Michael V said:

Lyon gone for 10.

old mr reliable.

FUCK

Labs gone for one run!

sibeen said:

FUCK

yeah, bit of a bummer that.

England Men’s Coaching Team – Ashes Tour

Head Coach: Chris Silverwood
Assistant Coaches: Paul Collingwood, Graham Thorpe
Elite Pace Bowling: Jon Lewis
Elite Spin Bowling: Jeetan Patel
Wicketkeeping Consultant: James Foster
Elite Fielding Coach: Carl Hopkinson
Batting Consultant: Jonathan Trott
Wicketkeeping Consultant: Bruce French
Coaching Consultant: Ant Botha
Spin Bowling Consultant: Min Patel

Man there’s a lot of meetings to be held there.
I mean just to decide the naming convention would have required an elite consultancy.
And I have to say the inclusion of a Wicketkeeping Consultant was a stroke of genius that probably arose from a meeting over fine cigars and port at a gentlemans club.

THANK FUCK

FUCK

England are crying havoc and unleashing Jack Leach.

FUCK

Peak Warming Man said:

England Men’s Coaching Team – Ashes Tour

Head Coach: Chris Silverwood
Assistant Coaches: Paul Collingwood, Graham Thorpe
Elite Pace Bowling: Jon Lewis
Elite Spin Bowling: Jeetan Patel
Wicketkeeping Consultant: James Foster
Elite Fielding Coach: Carl Hopkinson
Batting Consultant: Jonathan Trott
Wicketkeeping Consultant: Bruce French
Coaching Consultant: Ant Botha
Spin Bowling Consultant: Min Patel

Man there’s a lot of meetings to be held there.
I mean just to decide the naming convention would have required an elite consultancy.
And I have to say the inclusion of a Wicketkeeping Consultant was a stroke of genius that probably arose from a meeting over fine cigars and port at a gentlemans club.

I was chatting to a young in-law over the Christmas break and asked him what he did.

He said he was a “consultant” ..that’s all

Isn’t that virtually meaningless?

Oooh Hehe

FUCK

sibeen said:

FUCK

What ‘e said

Peak Warming Man said:

Oooh Hehe

Love your work!

Well done. A published author!

:)

Cuppa tea anyone?

Cucumber sandwiches with the crust cut off?

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

sibeen said:

FUCK

He is being consistent in his commentary.

lead is not as much as I’d hoped, but I am happy enough.

monkey skipper said:

sibeen said:

FUCK

He is being consistent in his commentary.

You don’t get much detail but you can picture the general scene.

Bubblecar said:

monkey skipper said:

sibeen said:

FUCK

He is being consistent in his commentary.

You don’t get much detail but you can picture the general scene.

A character from a 1930’s film set wearing knicker bockers, plaid design , men’s plaid cap and a megaphone yelling across the crowds at the cricket.

England and Whales already 2-fer.

Thought that last one was aeasily going over the top of the stumps, but DRS reckons it may have just hit the top by a mm. I still have my doubts over the ball tracker.

party_pants said:

England and Whales already 2-fer.

Thought that last one was aeasily going over the top of the stumps, but DRS reckons it may have just hit the top by a mm. I still have my doubts over the ball tracker.

Definatly looked high to me.

party_pants said:

England and Whales already 2-fer.

Thought that last one was aeasily going over the top of the stumps, but DRS reckons it may have just hit the top by a mm. I still have my doubts over the ball tracker.

Coat of varnish job :)

FUCK OFF
FUCK OFF

apologies for the delay in commentary, I had to give junior sprog a lift to work

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

Poms in a smidge of bother.

LOL

D’oh. I turned the sound down to watch something on YouTube and missed all the fun. By the time I looked up 2 more wickets had fallen.

England 4 down at stumps. A good day for the Aussies.

The poms will try and play the old covid card tomorrow

Kurtis Patterson  144.00 Aus
Andy Ganteaume 112.00 WI
Albert Trott 102.50 Aus
Don Bradman 99.94 Aus
Naveed Nawaz 99.00 SL
Vic Stollmeyer 96.00 WI
Desmond Lewis 86.33 WI
Abul Hasan 82.50 Bdesh
Rodney Redmond 81.50 NZ
Barry Richards 72.57 RSA
Henry Wood 68.00 Eng
Washington Sundar 66.25 India
Stewie Dempster 65.73 NZ
Bryan Valentine 64.85 Eng
Devon Conway 63.16 NZ
Sid Barnes 63.06 Aus
Arthur Hill 62.75 Eng
Taslim Arif 62.63 Pak
Karun Nair 62.33 India
Marnus Labuchagne 62.14 Aus
Ken Hough 62.00 NZ
Adam Voges 61.87 Aus
Steven Smith 61.20 Aus
Graeme Pollock 60.97 RSA
George Headley 60.83 WI
Herbert Sutcliffe 60.73 Eng
Deepak Shodhan 60.33 India
Jeff Moss 60.00 Aus

Seems as though goodKP is not on anyone’s radar for a recall to the top level in the near future so he might end up with the record indefinitely.

roughbarked said:

party_pants said:

Michael V said:

Stumps: Aus 1/61.

Not a bad day’s play for Australia. Shame about the late wicket, but overall I think happiness is prevailing in the Australian camp, while England and Wales must be very unhappy campers.

Scott Boland proved to be a smart choice.

Prescient

Stewie Dempster could have been someone, could have been a champion.

dv said:

Kurtis Patterson  144.00 Aus
Andy Ganteaume 112.00 WI
Albert Trott 102.50 Aus
Don Bradman 99.94 Aus
Naveed Nawaz 99.00 SL
Vic Stollmeyer 96.00 WI
Desmond Lewis 86.33 WI
Abul Hasan 82.50 Bdesh
Rodney Redmond 81.50 NZ
Barry Richards 72.57 RSA
Henry Wood 68.00 Eng
Washington Sundar 66.25 India
Stewie Dempster 65.73 NZ
Bryan Valentine 64.85 Eng
Devon Conway 63.16 NZ
Sid Barnes 63.06 Aus
Arthur Hill 62.75 Eng
Taslim Arif 62.63 Pak
Karun Nair 62.33 India
Marnus Labuchagne 62.14 Aus
Ken Hough 62.00 NZ
Adam Voges 61.87 Aus
Steven Smith 61.20 Aus
Graeme Pollock 60.97 RSA
George Headley 60.83 WI
Herbert Sutcliffe 60.73 Eng
Deepak Shodhan 60.33 India
Jeff Moss 60.00 Aus

Seems as though goodKP is not on anyone’s radar for a recall to the top level in the near future so he might end up with the record indefinitely.

I wonder why KP got dropped?
In his two tests he scored 1 century and no fifties….hmmm

Peak Warming Man said:

Stewie Dempster could have been someone, could have been a champion.

Let’s see what tomorrow brings, can’t get any better, can it?

Peak Warming Man said:

Let’s see what tomorrow brings, can’t get any better, can it?

Might not see day 4

dv said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Let’s see what tomorrow brings, can’t get any better, can it?

Might not see day 4

Might not see lunch :)

sibeen said:

dv said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Let’s see what tomorrow brings, can’t get any better, can it?

Might not see day 4

Might not see lunch :)

Nice way to tie it back to British food security

sibeen said:

dv said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Let’s see what tomorrow brings, can’t get any better, can it?

Might not see day 4

Might not see lunch :)

I don’t think Australia is that far ahead. I hope I can get enough radio reception in the car tomorrow to at least listen.

I also hope I can get back into Qld from this pox-ridden state.

Michael V said:

sibeen said:

dv said:

Might not see day 4

Might not see lunch :)

I don’t think Australia is that far ahead. I hope I can get enough radio reception in the car tomorrow to at least listen.

I also hope I can get back into Qld from this pox-ridden state.

You may have to claim refugee status.

sibeen said:

Michael V said:

sibeen said:

Might not see lunch :)

I don’t think Australia is that far ahead. I hope I can get enough radio reception in the car tomorrow to at least listen.

I also hope I can get back into Qld from this pox-ridden state.

You may have to claim refugee status.

LOL

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

sibeen said:

FUCK OFF

From the frequency of these exhortations, we can surmise that the BDT is just packed with action today.

Blimey you go to Bunnings and get back in the car and it’s nearly all over.

FUCK OFF

Australia wins by an innings and 14 runs.

Boland took 6 for 7. He has a fair chance of being dropped next test.

dv said:

roughbarked said:

party_pants said:

Not a bad day’s play for Australia. Shame about the late wicket, but overall I think happiness is prevailing in the Australian camp, while England and Wales must be very unhappy campers.

Scott Boland proved to be a smart choice.

Prescient

And now you look like Nostradamus

Wow!

sibeen said:

dv said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Let’s see what tomorrow brings, can’t get any better, can it?

Might not see day 4

Might not see lunch :)

My Cassandra moment :)

sibeen said:

sibeen said:

dv said:

Might not see day 4

Might not see lunch :)

My Cassandra moment :)

I seem to have missed all the fun. Had a sleep in, got up slowly and took my time.

Not surprising really. The Australians are more accustomed to Aussie summer heat and being sworn at by sibeen.

This headline will need rejigging..

Bubblecar said:

Not surprising really. The Australians are more accustomed to Aussie summer heat and being sworn at by sibeen.

Not really. These are professional players that play all around the world, including hot and dry places like the UAE and hot and humid places like India and the Caribbean.

They were expected to do a lot better. The English press were really talking up the team prospects. So it is a bit of a shock to be losing 0-3 already in a 5 match series. No doubt the English press will do their usual about-face and turn on their own team and savage them for the rest of the series. It would suck be an England cricketer right now, I know our press aren’t angles, but they’re nothing like as savage as the English tabloids.

dv said:

Kurtis Patterson  144.00 Aus
Andy Ganteaume 112.00 WI
Albert Trott 102.50 Aus
Don Bradman 99.94 Aus
Naveed Nawaz 99.00 SL
Vic Stollmeyer 96.00 WI
Desmond Lewis 86.33 WI
Abul Hasan 82.50 Bdesh
Rodney Redmond 81.50 NZ
Barry Richards 72.57 RSA
Henry Wood 68.00 Eng
Washington Sundar 66.25 India
Stewie Dempster 65.73 NZ
Bryan Valentine 64.85 Eng
Devon Conway 63.16 NZ
Sid Barnes 63.06 Aus
Arthur Hill 62.75 Eng
Taslim Arif 62.63 Pak
Karun Nair 62.33 India
Marnus Labuchagne 62.14 Aus
Ken Hough 62.00 NZ
Adam Voges 61.87 Aus
Steven Smith 61.20 Aus
Graeme Pollock 60.97 RSA
George Headley 60.83 WI
Herbert Sutcliffe 60.73 Eng
Deepak Shodhan 60.33 India
Jeff Moss 60.00 Aus

Seems as though goodKP is not on anyone’s radar for a recall to the top level in the near future so he might end up with the record indefinitely.

In compiling this list I was struck by the drought in England batsmen averaging 50+.

Root is currently averaging 50 and may end up with a good average but before him you have to go back to Barrington, who played his last hand in 1968.

England head coach Chris Silverwood said that England “have to find a way to compete”.
“It is something we’ll be reflecting on. We want to take something away from this series,” he told BT Sport.
“We had disruption yesterday morning but the way the bowlers rallied was a credit to them and the way we caught in that innings was good too.
“There is positives coming out of that.”

FMD

Peak Warming Man said:

England head coach Chris Silverwood said that England “have to find a way to compete”.
“It is something we’ll be reflecting on. We want to take something away from this series,” he told BT Sport.
“We had disruption yesterday morning but the way the bowlers rallied was a credit to them and the way we caught in that innings was good too.
“There is positives coming out of that.”

FMD

Aye, terrible grammar.

Peak Warming Man said:

England head coach Chris Silverwood said that England “have to find a way to compete”.
“It is something we’ll be reflecting on. We want to take something away from this series,” he told BT Sport.
“We had disruption yesterday morning but the way the bowlers rallied was a credit to them and the way we caught in that innings was good too.
“There is positives coming out of that.”

FMD

I don’t think anyone is suggesting that their bowlers are no good…

party_pants said:

Peak Warming Man said:

England head coach Chris Silverwood said that England “have to find a way to compete”.
“It is something we’ll be reflecting on. We want to take something away from this series,” he told BT Sport.
“We had disruption yesterday morning but the way the bowlers rallied was a credit to them and the way we caught in that innings was good too.
“There is positives coming out of that.”

FMD

I don’t think anyone is suggesting that their bowlers are no good…

Apparently Root did in internal team meetings.

Starc has made more runs in the series than every English player except for Root and Malan – and he’s only had four innings – ROFL.

sibeen said:

Starc has made more runs in the series than every English player except for Root and Malan – and he’s only had four innings – ROFL.

Like the old joke.
Q: What do you call an English cricketer with 100 after his name?
A: A bowler.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCRZZC-DH7M

Did anything happen in the cricket while I was driving home with poor radio reception?

I mean, apart from Bolan’s 6/7 and the Test wrapped up in 2 days 1 hour and 20 minutes for an innings win (and 14 runs, but who’s counting)?

I should’ve stayed a couple more hours at Woodies’ and watched.

And sibeen was so correct last night. Me? well, I was wrong.

Michael V said:

And sibeen was so correct last night.

good grief, he’ll be insufferable now. or rather more insufferable.

Michael V said:

Did anything happen in the cricket while I was driving home with poor radio reception?

I mean, apart from Bolan’s 6/7 and the Test wrapped up in 2 days 1 hour and 20 minutes for an innings win (and 14 runs, but who’s counting)?

I should’ve stayed a couple more hours at Woodies’ and watched.

And sibeen was so correct last night. Me? well, I was wrong.

Bowlin’, Bolan’

dv said:

Michael V said:

Did anything happen in the cricket while I was driving home with poor radio reception?

I mean, apart from Bolan’s 6/7 and the Test wrapped up in 2 days 1 hour and 20 minutes for an innings win (and 14 runs, but who’s counting)?

I should’ve stayed a couple more hours at Woodies’ and watched.

And sibeen was so correct last night. Me? well, I was wrong.

Bowlin’, Bolan’

:)

(Yes, I saw my typo, but what the heck – it made sense.)

dv said:

Michael V said:

Did anything happen in the cricket while I was driving home with poor radio reception?

I mean, apart from Bolan’s 6/7 and the Test wrapped up in 2 days 1 hour and 20 minutes for an innings win (and 14 runs, but who’s counting)?

I should’ve stayed a couple more hours at Woodies’ and watched.

And sibeen was so correct last night. Me? well, I was wrong.

Bowlin’, Bolan’

irony is that he may never play another test

They need to being that E.X. Tras bloke up the order

dv said:

They need to being that E.X. Tras bloke up the order

They dropped the bloke with the second most – rofl.

dv said:

They need to being that E.X. Tras bloke up the order

:)

sibeen said:

dv said:

They need to being that E.X. Tras bloke up the order

They dropped the bloke with the second most – rofl.

Ah nature is repairing itself and pom selectors are hapless twats again

dv said:

sibeen said:

dv said:

They need to being that E.X. Tras bloke up the order

They dropped the bloke with the second most – rofl.

Ah nature is repairing itself and pom selectors are hapless twats again

Hats off to Root though

dv said:

dv said:

sibeen said:

They dropped the bloke with the second most – rofl.

Ah nature is repairing itself and pom selectors are hapless twats again

Hats off to Root though

Yes, there is no doubt that he’s a player of the highest calibre.

sibeen said:

dv said:

dv said:

Ah nature is repairing itself and pom selectors are hapless twats again

Hats off to Root though

Yes, there is no doubt that he’s a player of the highest calibre.

His name’s still Root though.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/59816130