There you go.

Why did the dad joke cross the road?

To get to the other sigh.

Bubblecar said:

Why did the dad joke cross the road?

To get to the other sigh.

Very solid opening.

I probably shouldn’t tell Mr buffy I started this thread. You will all suffer.

Mothers and Aunts aren’t so needy that they require special joke threads.

Bump for SCIENCE

dv said:

Don’t give up your day job.

dv said:

dv said:

reminds us of when they told us to find stuff on eyghel tan

SCIENCE said:

dv said:

reminds us of when they told us to find stuff on eyghel tan

Peaches come from a can
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtown…

poikilotherm said:

Ha!

SCIENCE said:

dv said:

reminds us of when they told us to find stuff on eyghel tan

But where is the cereal?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isle_of_Grain

Bogsnorkler said:

:)

Michael Che on SNL:

President Trump has signed an executive order giving refugee status to white people from South Africa. Huh. You know, I could have sworn that white people had it good in South Africa. Must be the Mandela effect.

dv said:

Michael Che on SNL:

President Trump has signed an executive order giving refugee status to white people from South Africa. Huh. You know, I could have sworn that white people had it good in South Africa. Must be the Mandela effect.

‘sif, we’re pretty sure it was the Gandhi effect

dv said:

Michael Che on SNL:

President Trump has signed an executive order giving refugee status to white people from South Africa. Huh. You know, I could have sworn that white people had it good in South Africa. Must be the Mandela effect.

LOLOLOL

https://youtu.be/4pxwdJkj3Ts?si=k5ikNT109o61y2i2

Old fashioned joke

When I was at uni I was invited to a party by a girl I had a crush on (on whom I had a crush?); it was a number-themed party, and we (the girl, me, and two of her friends) were going as π. I was the decimal point, but she was the 4, which meant I had a miserable time, with someone between us the whole time. The main reason I went to the party was to spend some time next to her, but that just didn’t work. It was quite disappointing; I really thought she was the one.

btm said:

When I was at uni I was invited to a party by a girl I had a crush on (on whom I had a crush?); it was a number-themed party, and we (the girl, me, and two of her friends) were going as π. I was the decimal point, but she was the 4, which meant I had a miserable time, with someone between us the whole time. The main reason I went to the party was to spend some time next to her, but that just didn’t work. It was quite disappointing; I really thought she was the one.

Shakes head.

Divine Angel said:

groan

dv said:

how much ferreting did it take to get to that one

SCIENCE said:

dv said:

how much ferreting did it take to get to that one

I had to look up emic.

I’m not sure this is really a dad joke.

Although I suppose dv is a dad.

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

dv said:

how much ferreting did it take to get to that one

I had to look up emic.

I’m not sure this is really a dad joke.

Although I suppose dv is a dad.

I think you might find the “joke” is in the word “unironically”…

furious said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

how much ferreting did it take to get to that one

I had to look up emic.

I’m not sure this is really a dad joke.

Although I suppose dv is a dad.

I think you might find the “joke” is in the word “unironically”…

Unironed:

Tamb said:

furious said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

dv said:

how much ferreting did it take to get to that one

I had to look up emic.

I’m not sure this is really a dad joke.

Although I suppose dv is a dad.

I think you might find the “joke” is in the word “unironically”…

Unironed:

we thought anaemic meant that the haemoglobin levels were decreased

SCIENCE said:

Tamb said:

furious said:

I think you might find the “joke” is in the word “unironically”…

Unironed:

we thought anaemic meant that the haemoglobin levels were decreased

Like this one

furious said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

how much ferreting did it take to get to that one

I had to look up emic.

I’m not sure this is really a dad joke.

Although I suppose dv is a dad.

I think you might find the “joke” is in the word “unironically”…

doh! There I go over-complicating things again.

OK, a dad joke no question.

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

dv said:

how much ferreting did it take to get to that one

I had to look up emic.

I’m not sure this is really a dad joke.

Although I suppose dv is a dad.

It’s got nothing to do with emic…

dv said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

SCIENCE said:

how much ferreting did it take to get to that one

I had to look up emic.

I’m not sure this is really a dad joke.

Although I suppose dv is a dad.

It’s got nothing to do with emic…

OK, I’ve ferreted out the point of it now, with the help of furious.

The Rev Dodgson said:

dv said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

I had to look up emic.

I’m not sure this is really a dad joke.

Although I suppose dv is a dad.

It’s got nothing to do with emic…

OK, I’ve ferreted out the point of it now, with the help of furious.

Maybe get a paternity test for those kids of yours.

The Rev Dodgson said:

dv said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

I had to look up emic.

I’m not sure this is really a dad joke.

Although I suppose dv is a dad.

It’s got nothing to do with emic…

OK, I’ve ferreted out the point of it now, with the help of furious.

Lot of ferreting in this thread.

Sheesh tough crowd damn.

I had an insulated vacuum flask tattooed onto my arm.

It’s a thermos tat.

fsm said:

I had an insulated vacuum flask tattooed onto my arm.

It’s a thermos tat.

:)

Michael V said:

fsm said:

I had an insulated vacuum flask tattooed onto my arm.

It’s a thermos tat.

:)

something something Billie Eilish something clothes off something bimetallic strip

SCIENCE said:

Michael V said:

fsm said:

I had an insulated vacuum flask tattooed onto my arm.

It’s a thermos tat.

:)

something something Billie Eilish something clothes off something bimetallic strip

Is she a bit of alright?

Peak Warming Man said:

SCIENCE said:

Michael V said:

:)

something something Billie Eilish something clothes off something bimetallic strip

Is she a bit of alright?

when she has curves she’s hot

“A million thanks to New Scientist magazine (Feedback 22 October 2025) for alerting me to the (serious, I promise) scientific paper by Paul Silvia and Meriel Burnett entitled,

What’s brown and sticky? Peering into the ineluctable comedic mystery of dad humor with a handful of machine learning models, hundreds of humans, and tens of thousands of dad jokes *

As well as the paper, the website hosts a downloadable list of, as promised, 32,000 jokes. The download is Joke Database.zip, just over 50 MB. When expanded it holds two datasets, one with the full 32k jokes (all gathered from Reddit) and the other a subset of 501 jokes the researchers put to a panel of human joke evaluators.
…”

See more at:
https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=315525

(but I couldn’t find a link to the actual paper)

The Rev Dodgson said:

“A million thanks to New Scientist magazine (Feedback 22 October 2025) for alerting me to the (serious, I promise) scientific paper by Paul Silvia and Meriel Burnett entitled,

What’s brown and sticky? Peering into the ineluctable comedic mystery of dad humor with a handful of machine learning models, hundreds of humans, and tens of thousands of dad jokes *

As well as the paper, the website hosts a downloadable list of, as promised, 32,000 jokes. The download is Joke Database.zip, just over 50 MB. When expanded it holds two datasets, one with the full 32k jokes (all gathered from Reddit) and the other a subset of 501 jokes the researchers put to a panel of human joke evaluators.
…”

See more at:
https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=315525

(but I couldn’t find a link to the actual paper)

https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/ex2q7_v1

Link

A Stick: 2AbstractA stick, of course. This masterpiece of human creativity is an example of a dad joke, a clean, good-natured joke founded on puns, literalism, and wordplay. After unpacking the structures, contents, and comedic devices that distinguish dad jokes from related genres, the present research explored both the features of dad jokes that make them funny and the kinds of people who find them funny. Study 1coded over 32,000 jokes scraped from the Reddit r/dad jokes community. Ridge regression models found that a joke’s upvotes and comments were modestly predictable from its text and topic features(test sample R2=4.02%and 4.42%).After curating a hypercube subsample of 501 dad jokes, Study 2 found that both text features (e.g., concreteness, semantic distance, question framing) and topic features (e.g., moms, pregnancy, and numbers)predicted the funniness ratings made by adults (n= 621) much more effectively(cross-validated R2= 28.2%). Study 3 found that individual differences in people’s funniness ratings were associated with cultural conventionality(e.g., parenthood, more education, affluence, religiosity, and conservatism)and social boldness(e.g., need for uniqueness, low honesty-humility, and boldness; cross-validated R2= 32.4%),and that dads found the dad jokes funnier. Seemingly simple wordplay humor illuminates the psychology of verbal creativity and extends the psychology of aesthetics into art encounters that provoke feelings of amusement, playfulness, and absurdity. The coded dad jokes are freely available for researchers interested in studying humor or hassling their teenagers

JudgeMental said:

The Rev Dodgson said:

“A million thanks to New Scientist magazine (Feedback 22 October 2025) for alerting me to the (serious, I promise) scientific paper by Paul Silvia and Meriel Burnett entitled,

What’s brown and sticky? Peering into the ineluctable comedic mystery of dad humor with a handful of machine learning models, hundreds of humans, and tens of thousands of dad jokes *

As well as the paper, the website hosts a downloadable list of, as promised, 32,000 jokes. The download is Joke Database.zip, just over 50 MB. When expanded it holds two datasets, one with the full 32k jokes (all gathered from Reddit) and the other a subset of 501 jokes the researchers put to a panel of human joke evaluators.
…”

See more at:
https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=315525

(but I couldn’t find a link to the actual paper)

https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/ex2q7_v1

Link

A Stick: 2AbstractA stick, of course. This masterpiece of human creativity is an example of a dad joke, a clean, good-natured joke founded on puns, literalism, and wordplay. After unpacking the structures, contents, and comedic devices that distinguish dad jokes from related genres, the present research explored both the features of dad jokes that make them funny and the kinds of people who find them funny. Study 1coded over 32,000 jokes scraped from the Reddit r/dad jokes community. Ridge regression models found that a joke’s upvotes and comments were modestly predictable from its text and topic features(test sample R2=4.02%and 4.42%).After curating a hypercube subsample of 501 dad jokes, Study 2 found that both text features (e.g., concreteness, semantic distance, question framing) and topic features (e.g., moms, pregnancy, and numbers)predicted the funniness ratings made by adults (n= 621) much more effectively(cross-validated R2= 28.2%). Study 3 found that individual differences in people’s funniness ratings were associated with cultural conventionality(e.g., parenthood, more education, affluence, religiosity, and conservatism)and social boldness(e.g., need for uniqueness, low honesty-humility, and boldness; cross-validated R2= 32.4%),and that dads found the dad jokes funnier. Seemingly simple wordplay humor illuminates the psychology of verbal creativity and extends the psychology of aesthetics into art encounters that provoke feelings of amusement, playfulness, and absurdity. The coded dad jokes are freely available for researchers interested in studying humor or hassling their teenagers

Thanks Mr. Judge.

I am surprised by the apparent lack of interest in this important scientific work.

… but anyway:

What do you call a judge with no fingers?

Justice thumbs.

Why don’t you find much aspirin in Australia?

Because the parrots eat ‘em all.

The Rev Dodgson said:

… but anyway:

What do you call a judge with no fingers?

Justice thumbs.

Why don’t you find much aspirin in Australia?

Because the parrots eat ‘em all.

Well done lad, they were quite clever.

dv said:

they use signal because everything arises and falls away

dv said:

Would that work better for Jedi ?

Cymek said:

dv said:

Would that work better for Jedi ?

Kind of stupid, the Jedi rule about attachments. Breeding (or rather not breeding) themselves out of existence…

We’ve probably had this one before, but it raised a smile anyway:

Trump dies and ends up in hell.

The Devil tells Trump that as hell is full they’re operating a ‘one in, one out’ policy, but as he’s a president he can chose who to replace. He’s shown three doors.

Behind the first door is Obama pushing a huge boulder up a hill. When he gets to the top the boulder rolls down and he has to start again. ‘That looks like a lot of hard work’ thinks Trump.

Behind the next door is Bush constantly swinging a hammer to break a huge stone. Each time he breaks one a new one appears. ‘I’m not sure my back swing could do that’ thinks Trump.

Finally, behind the next door he sees Clinton tied to a bed, with Monica Lewinsky doing what she’s best known for. Every time he comes Clinton shouts out in agony ‘oh, no, not again’ as she starts over.

The devil comes up to Trump and asks if he’s made a decision. ‘Yes, I’ll take the third room’.

‘Ok’ says the Devil and opens the door. ‘Good news Monica, you’re off to heaven’.

The Rev Dodgson said:

We’ve probably had this one before, but it raised a smile anyway:

Trump dies and ends up in hell.

The Devil tells Trump that as hell is full they’re operating a ‘one in, one out’ policy, but as he’s a president he can chose who to replace. He’s shown three doors.

Behind the first door is Obama pushing a huge boulder up a hill. When he gets to the top the boulder rolls down and he has to start again. ‘That looks like a lot of hard work’ thinks Trump.

Behind the next door is Bush constantly swinging a hammer to break a huge stone. Each time he breaks one a new one appears. ‘I’m not sure my back swing could do that’ thinks Trump.

Finally, behind the next door he sees Clinton tied to a bed, with Monica Lewinsky doing what she’s best known for. Every time he comes Clinton shouts out in agony ‘oh, no, not again’ as she starts over.

The devil comes up to Trump and asks if he’s made a decision. ‘Yes, I’ll take the third room’.

‘Ok’ says the Devil and opens the door. ‘Good news Monica, you’re off to heaven’.

big and beautiful

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1DXZ4nVSHY/

Death

Just to balance things up a bit, here’s a mum joke for you all:

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looks at her mother and asks, “Why are some of your hairs white, mom?” Her mother replies, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thinks about this for a while, and then says, “Wow, Momma, you must have really pissed off Grandma!”

The Rev Dodgson said:

Just to balance things up a bit, here’s a mum joke for you all:

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looks at her mother and asks, “Why are some of your hairs white, mom?” Her mother replies, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thinks about this for a while, and then says, “Wow, Momma, you must have really pissed off Grandma!”

Heh.

The Rev Dodgson said:

Just to balance things up a bit, here’s a mum joke for you all:

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looks at her mother and asks, “Why are some of your hairs white, mom?” Her mother replies, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thinks about this for a while, and then says, “Wow, Momma, you must have really pissed off Grandma!”

:)

Before my surgery the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was and ether/oar situation.

Peak Warming Man said:

Before my surgery the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was and ether/oar situation.

:)

Peak Warming Man said:

Before my surgery the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was and ether/oar situation.

…

Michael V said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Before my surgery the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was and ether/oar situation.

…

what a gas

SCIENCE said:

Michael V said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Before my surgery the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was and ether/oar situation.

…

what a gas

Jumpin’ Jack Flash.

Michael V said:

SCIENCE said:

Michael V said:

…

what a gas

Jumpin’ Jack Flash.

He’s a gas gas gas

roughbarked said:

Michael V said:

SCIENCE said:

what a gas

Jumpin’ Jack Flash.

He’s a gas gas gas

Good goddess this place is really predictable.

kii said:

roughbarked said:

Michael V said:

Jumpin’ Jack Flash.

He’s a gas gas gas

Good goddess this place is really predictable.

no shit that’s what gen爱 relies on