SENIOR MEDICINE

A cute little old lady goes to the doctor and says,“Doctor I have this problem 
with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and is always 
silent. As a matter of fact I’ve farted at least 10 times since I’ve been here in 
your office. You didn’t know I was farting because it doesn’t smell and is silent.”
The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week”.

The next week the lady returns. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the heck you 

gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly”. “Good,” the doctor said. 
“Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”

Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.
She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically, it opens.
“That’s so clever,” the woman gasps. “How did you do it?”
“Easy,” replies the man. “These are my khakis.”

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy” he tells the vet. Vet takes a look and says “It seems calm enough to me”. Paddy says, “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet”.

This belongs here:

Breaking her silence almost a week after she created a national stir, the 28-year-old university educated woman claimed she did not know what the word “behead” meant.

She insisted her eldest child picked up the poster from the ground and waved it above his head, so she took a photograph of him, not comprehending the sinister message portrayed on the sign.

“I did not know what beheading was,” she said.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/its-a-mistake-im-not-a-bad-mother/story-e6freuy9-1226478441135

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0nMtSJDrGc

tell us what you really think of your treasurer, British Public

Bubble Car said:

“I did not know what beheading was,” she said.

I find this extremely difficult to believe. So difficult that one might be forgiven for thinking her a liar or a complete moron. Community Services will probably offer her a job.

>:-(