ABC Radio National has announced plans to cut a number of programs from its 2013 schedule in an attempt to rein in its budget.
A draft schedule emailed to staff this afternoon shows network management intend to axe radio play program Airplay, along with book reading programs The Book Reading, Sunday Story and the much loved “Dance of the Walking Wounded” a regular programme devoted to dole bludgers claiming disability pensions
“We understand that this is a break with a very long-standing tradition, and will directly affect a number of staff, many people are going to miss walk of the walking wounded whilst i sip on my frothy frapaccino , lol”, Radio National manager Michael Mason wrote in an sms to staff.
“In the context of the broader RN offer, maintaining an innovative and creative output for our audience, and considering financial constraints, we believe that the time has come to move on and replace such worn entertainment with a recently powerhouse of talent known as “wookiemeister” who will replace the few hundred people later this month”. “He’s just amazing!” gushed Mr Mason “even after a few weeks i’ve lost 10Kgs and look ten years younger”.
“Radio plays,book and general moans and groans from sex starved depressed lesser known female poets readings have, for many years, faced declining audience numbers, while remaining an expensive activity for the network.
The email did not detail the total number of employees who face losing their jobs under the proposals but mentioned “potential redundancies of thousands” in some areas.
Mr Mason said tough decisions needed to be made “to get back to a sustainable on-budget position, starting with a 15 percent increase in managerial wages”.
Most of the proposed changes come out of the recommendations of a review called the PSP (PlayStationPortable).
The review said in the past, programs had often been built “around the needs or skills of a particular individual, rather than in a planned, structured way to reflect the needs of a baying mob, hungry for blood and howling down all sense or reason”
It said the aim of the PSP was “to ensure that the network is resourced, supported and managed in the best way possible, for equitable and reasonable benchmarks to be established so that every dollar allocated to PSP is spent wisely and effectively”.
Sunday night remix program The Night Air looks set to disappear from the 2013 schedule, while Lingua Franca, Movietime and Creative Instinct are also facing the axe. “theres no need for any creative instinct”, laughed Mr Mason “
The sms says the theme of language and words will be explored on such boring entities such as Books and Arts Daily and Weekend Arts, and cinema will be discussed during Breakfast, Drive, and in other programs across the schedule.
In place of the decommissioned programs, Radio National says it will create a new Creative Audio Unit, a stark room inhabitated by a grim looking security guard with a queensland security licence sat under a swinging energy efficient lightbulb.
“The work of the CAU will be strongly based on new forms of audio creativity, such as the improvised drama of The Truth and the ‘new storytelling’ including real-life, fiction, and hybrid forms of both.” The PSP report said, “embarassing noises made by the human body are always amusing”
“But more importantly, it will continue on our own tradition of innovation by breaking new ground and redefining audio performance from america”
Management say they will formally consult with staff in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth over the coming weeks but they shouldn’t get their hopes up”.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-09-25/radio-national-plans-program-cuts-to-save-money/4279846