“ahhh Wookiemeister i see you’ve met my chief henchman random fastners” said Blofeld his back to me in his gigantic lazy susanchair at the centre of the the command centre for “operation pot plant”.
“Is this your plan blowfeld – to destroy the world by selling potplants to dictatorships and festoon their offices whilst millions starve?” i said wiping the blood from my lips with my battered fingers, on one knee – watched warily by machine gun toting office staff.
Rising blowfeld rises and turns to face me
“You know i always admire your spririt double O wookiemeister, it reminds me of when i was young and stupid working for the department of education’s horticultural division. I suddenly realised that the way to achieve my goal of destroying the world to bring about a new order was through plants – pot plants to be precise….”
“stop that once !!” Blowfeld commanded as my hand fell innocently on a wooden stake, my eyes weighing it up as to whether it could be hefted quickly to strike a killer blow. “those stakes are the finest chinese garden stakes they’ll shatter at the faintest gust of wind upon them – it would be annoying to say the least if you attempted to destroy my merchandise”
“they’re on you to Blowfeld, Bunnings has already been contacted about your dodgy garden stakes the only people you’ll be able to sell them to is the government or some aid organisation and…”
“rubbish! Where do you think we are? BBunnings is now fully controlled by potplant enterprises but no one will know once you have been assimilated and dressed in your uniform so you can serve ladies at the paint counter – your days of daring do are over Wookieme..i..s”…..
i dart over scattering decorative pebbling into the faces of my captorsand kick over a huge sack of garden soil that spills over the floor of the command centre the guards leap forward and slip – machine guns blazing into the ether as i uncoil like a gigantic spring on a hair trigger. Blowfled falls behind some discount handtool and begins firing with a nail gun…
