Date: 11/02/2013 20:51:57
From: Aquila
ID: 263909
Subject: Random Joke Thread

Parrot Attitude Readjustment

David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything that came to mind. Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird, the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got madder and ruder.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto David’s extended arm and said: “I’m sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness. I will try to check my behavior…”
David was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, “May I ask what the chicken did?”

Reply Quote

Date: 11/02/2013 21:14:43
From: ms spock
ID: 263914
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

http://www.crikey.com.au/2013/02/11/jesus-its-2013-for-gods-sake-oh-wait%E2%80%A6/

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Date: 11/02/2013 21:17:20
From: Boris
ID: 263917
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

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Date: 11/02/2013 21:30:18
From: Aquila
ID: 263919
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

LOL.
Origianal link posted by ‘ms spock’…….

courtousy of:
http://media.crikey.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/NoPoofsAllowed.jpg

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Date: 12/02/2013 20:09:00
From: Aquila
ID: 264382
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

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Date: 12/02/2013 20:21:16
From: party_pants
ID: 264389
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

“February made me shiver”

bet he never lived in the Southern Hemisphere.

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Date: 12/02/2013 20:23:03
From: party_pants
ID: 264390
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

Ooops – Fred Wrong.

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Date: 13/02/2013 19:25:41
From: Aquila
ID: 264706
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

Two hydrogen atoms meet.
One says, Ive lost my electron.
The other says Are you sure?
The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication

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Date: 14/02/2013 07:33:50
From: Aquila
ID: 264787
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

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Date: 14/02/2013 07:56:11
From: poikilotherm
ID: 264789
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

Aquila said:


Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Didn’t realise it was a random b(d)ad joke thread Aquila ;)

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Date: 14/02/2013 08:04:42
From: Aquila
ID: 264791
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

*chuckle

)
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Date: 14/02/2013 11:46:04
From: Peak Warming Man
ID: 264866
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

Three Irish authors walk into a random house……………………

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Date: 15/02/2013 07:10:43
From: Aquila
ID: 265203
Subject: re: Random Joke Thread

I wondered why the football kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here, Ill go on a head.

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