In this day and age it seems impossible to compliment a woman on her appearance without being viewed (by someone, not necessarily the woman involved even) as sexist.

Have things gone too far? After billions of years, are men suddenly no longer supposed to find women easy on the eyes?
Or worse, are we supposed to feel guilty about that and repress those thoughts creating sexual tension resulting in anger and resentment?

Surely compliments shouldn’t be taken out of context, and as they say ‘body language’ is what men should be judged on in such situations rather than merely the bare words being spoken?

What do the women here think? (and men)

bourke said:

In this day and age it seems impossible to compliment a woman on her appearance without being viewed (by someone, not necessarily the woman involved even) as sexist.

Have things gone too far? After billions of years, are men suddenly no longer supposed to find women easy on the eyes?
Or worse, are we supposed to feel guilty about that and repress those thoughts creating sexual tension resulting in anger and resentment?

Surely compliments shouldn’t be taken out of context, and as they say ‘body language’ is what men should be judged on in such situations rather than merely the bare words being spoken?

What do the women here think? (and men)

And i was about to start a thread about bull bars and obstacles in the road.

It depends on the “compliment”; don’t compliment someone on having lovely breasts.

bourke said:

In this day and age it seems impossible to compliment a woman on her appearance without being viewed (by someone, not necessarily the woman involved even) as sexist.

Have things gone too far? After billions of years, are men suddenly no longer supposed to find women easy on the eyes?
Or worse, are we supposed to feel guilty about that and repress those thoughts creating sexual tension resulting in anger and resentment?

Surely compliments shouldn’t be taken out of context, and as they say ‘body language’ is what men should be judged on in such situations rather than merely the bare words being spoken?

What do the women here think? (and men)

On the contrary, there are many ways you can complement someone (male or female) on their looks without using derogatory language.

It would seems top me that is post is either a fishing expedition or you are incredibly misogynistic in your attitudes.

diddly-squat said:

On the contrary, there are many ways you can complement someone (male or female) on their looks without using derogatory language.

It would seems top me that is post is either a fishing expedition or you are incredibly misogynistic in your attitudes.

Define ‘finishing expedition’? As stated in my OP, I want to know other people’s thoughts on the matter… not sure if that’s what you mean by finish expedition.

OK, so your positions is as long as it’s not derogatory…

As an example:

Me: ‘You’re not an easy person to dance with.’
Her (worried): ‘Why makes you say that?’
Me: ‘You’re quite a distraction!’

Fishing expedition… you’re baiting.

Divine Angel said:

It depends on the “compliment”; don’t compliment someone on having lovely breasts.

Generally men don’t find breasts attractive (per se) – it’s women’s faces (well the whole head + hair) actually that men are attracted to most. Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

bourke said:

As an example:

Me: ‘You’re not an easy person to dance with.’
Her (worried): ‘Why makes you say that?’
Me: ‘You’re quite a distraction!’

Not complimentary. Creepy.

Divine Angel said:

bourke said:

As an example:

Me: ‘You’re not an easy person to dance with.’
Her (worried): ‘Why makes you say that?’
Me: ‘You’re quite a distraction!’

Not complimentary. Creepy.

OK – good, we’re getting somewhere.

Now as you can see – this is not what I would actually say, however it is the ‘sentiment’ or idea that is truthful. (I.e. it was difficult to dance with her because she was looking so attractive)…

So my question to you is – how should such a message be conveyed without seeming creepy?

bourke said:

Divine Angel said:

It depends on the “compliment”; don’t compliment someone on having lovely breasts.

Generally men don’t find breasts attractive (per se) – it’s women’s faces (well the whole head + hair) actually that men are attracted to most. Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Speak for yourself……….not me thank you.

bourke said:

Me: ‘You’re not an easy person to dance with.’
Her (worried): ‘Why makes you say that?’
Me: ‘You’re quite a distraction!’

yes, I would consider that response inappropriate.

bourke said:

Divine Angel said:

bourke said:

As an example:

Me: ‘You’re not an easy person to dance with.’
Her (worried): ‘Why makes you say that?’
Me: ‘You’re quite a distraction!’

Not complimentary. Creepy.

OK – good, we’re getting somewhere.

Now as you can see – this is not what I would actually say, however it is the ‘sentiment’ or idea that is truthful. (I.e. it was difficult to dance with her because she was looking so attractive)…

So my question to you is – how should such a message be conveyed without seeming creepy?

how on earth can someone “be difficult to dance with” on the basis of their looks? It makes no sense

jjjust moi said:

bourke said:

Divine Angel said:

It depends on the “compliment”; don’t compliment someone on having lovely breasts.

Generally men don’t find breasts attractive (per se) – it’s women’s faces (well the whole head + hair) actually that men are attracted to most. Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Speak for yourself……….not me thank you.

Two words prove my point:
Monica Lewinsky (ugly as sin, yet Bill still couldn’t control himself)

diddly-squat said:

bourke said:

Divine Angel said:

Not complimentary. Creepy.

OK – good, we’re getting somewhere.

Now as you can see – this is not what I would actually say, however it is the ‘sentiment’ or idea that is truthful. (I.e. it was difficult to dance with her because she was looking so attractive)…

So my question to you is – how should such a message be conveyed without seeming creepy?

how on earth can someone “be difficult to dance with” on the basis of their looks? It makes no sense

Quite easily – dancing requires concentration (especially when leading) and an attractive girl in contact with you from knee to shoulder (also wearing backless dress) may prove distracting… correction; WILL be distracting.

There’s a nice little discussion going on at The Gruaniad . Stirling Moss thinks women haven’t got what it takes to race F1. He’s being accused of sexism amongst other things

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2013/apr/16/stirling-moss-wrong-women-motor-racing?INTCMP=ILCNETTXT3487&commentpage=1

• Two words prove my point: Monica Lewinsky (ugly as sin, yet Bill still couldn’t control himself)

That actually contradicts your point:

• it’s women’s faces (well the whole head + hair) actually that men are attracted to most.

furious said:

• Two words prove my point: Monica Lewinsky (ugly as sin, yet Bill still couldn’t control himself)

That actually contradicts your point:

• it’s women’s faces (well the whole head + hair) actually that men are attracted to most.
  

Her face being less ugly than her body.

bourke said:

Quite easily – dancing requires concentration (especially when leading) and an attractive girl in contact with you from knee to shoulder (also wearing backless dress) may prove distracting… correction; WILL be distracting.

do you find swimming at the beach difficult also?

how about running on a treadmill at the gym

or even walking thought a busy shopping centre

I must say I don’t find your reasoning very convincing

• WILL be distracting

Maybe they should all just cover up and prevent us poor men from being distracted…

diddly-squat said:

bourke said:

Quite easily – dancing requires concentration (especially when leading) and an attractive girl in contact with you from knee to shoulder (also wearing backless dress) may prove distracting… correction; WILL be distracting.

do you find swimming at the beach difficult also?

how about running on a treadmill at the gym

or even walking thought a busy shopping centre

I must say I don’t find your reasoning very convincing

No – as I mentioned; neither swimming, treadmill, nor shopping require close proximity to the same woman wearing a provocative outfit and in skin-to-skin contact from knees to shoulders…

Suggest you try an Argentine Tango class if you are having trouble visualizing the situation. Well actually I suggest you do it anyway as it’s one of life’s best pleasures.

furious said:

• WILL be distracting

Maybe they should all just cover up and prevent us poor men from being distracted…

This is sounding dangerously like a cat food argument. (It was TIC, I know)

furious said:

• WILL be distracting

Maybe they should all just cover up and prevent us poor men from being distracted…

st00pid woman, get what they deserve I reckon

bourke said:

diddly-squat said:

bourke said:

Quite easily – dancing requires concentration (especially when leading) and an attractive girl in contact with you from knee to shoulder (also wearing backless dress) may prove distracting… correction; WILL be distracting.

do you find swimming at the beach difficult also?

how about running on a treadmill at the gym

or even walking thought a busy shopping centre

I must say I don’t find your reasoning very convincing

No – as I mentioned; neither swimming, treadmill, nor shopping require close proximity to the same woman wearing a provocative outfit and in skin-to-skin contact from knees to shoulders…

Nor do swimming, treadmill, and shopping require anywhere near the level of concentration.

bourke said:

No – as I mentioned; neither swimming, treadmill, nor shopping require close proximity to the same woman wearing a provocative outfit and in skin-to-skin contact from knees to shoulders…

Suggest you try an Argentine Tango class if you are having trouble visualizing the situation. Well actually I suggest you do it anyway as it’s one of life’s best pleasures.

I wonder how all the male ballroom dancers out there concentrate the way they do…???

Also, generally (latin) dancing requires a vast amount of eye-contact… looking into someone’s eyes/face within a breath of you can be quite distracting in itself.

• I wonder how all the male ballroom dancers out there concentrate the way they do…???

They’re all…you know?

Tango is the only dancing a bloke can do without looking ridiculous or , err, you know

bourke said:

Divine Angel said:

It depends on the “compliment”; don’t compliment someone on having lovely breasts.

Generally men don’t find breasts attractive (per se) – it’s women’s faces (well the whole head + hair) actually that men are attracted to most. Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Cos it’s a good way to stop ‘em from talking? albeit briefly?

bob(from black rock) said:

Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Cos it’s a good way to stop ‘em from talking? albeit briefly?

I think we’ve found the point where we can draw the line, bob. Don’t be sexist.

bourke said:

bob(from black rock) said:

Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Cos it’s a good way to stop ‘em from talking? albeit briefly?

I think we’ve found the point where we can draw the line, bob. Don’t be sexist.

I think the word you are looking for is factitious

Try this:

Bourke: You know you’re looking just perfect after that facial reconstruction
Her: WTF?
Bourke: A friend told me you’ve had major plastic surgery…
Her: No I’ve never had any plastic surgery
Bourke: Really? Well, whatever you do, don’t! You’re just right as you are!

Bubblecar said:

Try this:

Bourke: You know you’re looking just perfect after that facial reconstruction
Her: WTF?
Bourke: A friend told me you’ve had major plastic surgery…
Her: No I’ve never had any plastic surgery
Bourke: Really? Well, whatever you do, don’t! You’re just right as you are!

You’re single right Bubblecar?

Bubblecar said:

Try this:

Bourke: You know you’re looking just perfect after that facial reconstruction
Her: WTF?
Bourke: A friend told me you’ve had major plastic surgery…
Her: No I’ve never had any plastic surgery
Bourke: Really? Well, whatever you do, don’t! You’re just right as you are!

Bourke: Now, how about that blow job, hey??

Bubblecar said:

Try this:

Bourke: You know you’re looking just perfect after that facial reconstruction
Her: WTF?
Bourke: A friend told me you’ve had major plastic surgery…
Her: No I’ve never had any plastic surgery
Bourke: Really? Well, whatever you do, don’t! You’re just right as you are!

Bubble… you’re absolutely certain this will do the trick? :)

bob(from black rock) said:

bourke said:

Divine Angel said:

It depends on the “compliment”; don’t compliment someone on having lovely breasts.

Generally men don’t find breasts attractive (per se) – it’s women’s faces (well the whole head + hair) actually that men are attracted to most. Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Cos it’s a good way to stop ‘em from talking? albeit briefly?

(‘em), being the females?

roughbarked said:

bob(from black rock) said:

bourke said:

Generally men don’t find breasts attractive (per se) – it’s women’s faces (well the whole head + hair) actually that men are attracted to most. Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Cos it’s a good way to stop ‘em from talking? albeit briefly?

(‘em), being the females?

Depends if the favour is being returned :-p

bourke said:

roughbarked said:

bob(from black rock) said:

Why do you think men prefer oral sex more than anything on the planet?

Cos it’s a good way to stop ‘em from talking? albeit briefly?

(‘em), being the females?

Depends if the favour is being returned :-p

I think we can leave it at that.

It’s also subtly evidence by the fact that more women have breast reductions than have enlargements…

And also the fact that men prefer to pay for (and have no issue with) ‘nose jobs’ and face lifts, however are reluctant to fund plastic surgeries below the shoulders.

bourke said:

It’s also subtly evidence by the fact that more women have breast reductions than have enlargements…

And also the fact that men prefer to pay for (and have no issue with) ‘nose jobs’ and face lifts, however are reluctant to fund plastic surgeries below the shoulders.

frankly, I don’t give a fuck.

roughbarked said:

bourke said:

It’s also subtly evidence by the fact that more women have breast reductions than have enlargements…

And also the fact that men prefer to pay for (and have no issue with) ‘nose jobs’ and face lifts, however are reluctant to fund plastic surgeries below the shoulders.

frankly, I don’t give a fuck.

Obviously later in life one tends to let oneself go!

bourke said:

roughbarked said:

bourke said:

It’s also subtly evidence by the fact that more women have breast reductions than have enlargements…

And also the fact that men prefer to pay for (and have no issue with) ‘nose jobs’ and face lifts, however are reluctant to fund plastic surgeries below the shoulders.

frankly, I don’t give a fuck.

Obviously later in life one tends to let oneself go!

It is clear to me that you have seen pictures.

diddly-squat said:

bourke said:

No – as I mentioned; neither swimming, treadmill, nor shopping require close proximity to the same woman wearing a provocative outfit and in skin-to-skin contact from knees to shoulders…

Suggest you try an Argentine Tango class if you are having trouble visualizing the situation. Well actually I suggest you do it anyway as it’s one of life’s best pleasures.

I wonder how all the male ballroom dancers out there concentrate the way they do…???

Ballroom they (the women) tend to wear more appropriate clothing, and also ballroom dancing i not as intimate as Latin dancing.

roughbarked said:

bourke said:

roughbarked said:

frankly, I don’t give a fuck.

Obviously later in life one tends to let oneself go!

It is clear to me that you have seen pictures.

And furthermore… there’s nothing wrong with that!

bourke said:

roughbarked said:

bourke said:

Obviously later in life one tends to let oneself go!

It is clear to me that you have seen pictures.

And furthermore… there’s nothing wrong with that!

the ever unfolding tapestry. ;)

bourke said:

diddly-squat said:

bourke said:

No – as I mentioned; neither swimming, treadmill, nor shopping require close proximity to the same woman wearing a provocative outfit and in skin-to-skin contact from knees to shoulders…

Suggest you try an Argentine Tango class if you are having trouble visualizing the situation. Well actually I suggest you do it anyway as it’s one of life’s best pleasures.

I wonder how all the male ballroom dancers out there concentrate the way they do…???

Ballroom they (the women) tend to wear more appropriate clothing, and also ballroom dancing i not as intimate as Latin dancing.

you’re right of course, it’s not like latin is a subset of ballroom or anything

Bubblecar said:

Try this:

Bourke: You know you’re looking just perfect after that facial reconstruction
Her: WTF?
Bourke: A friend told me you’ve had major plastic surgery…
Her: No I’ve never had any plastic surgery
Bourke: Really? Well, whatever you do, don’t! You’re just right as you are!

See Bubble, my fear there would be her reaction would be more like:

Her: ‘WTF – which skoe told you that?’

… I am unsure if ‘it was just a joke’ would necessarily raise her esteem in me!

diddly-squat said:

bourke said:

diddly-squat said:

I wonder how all the male ballroom dancers out there concentrate the way they do…???

Ballroom they (the women) tend to wear more appropriate clothing, and also ballroom dancing i not as intimate as Latin dancing.

you’re right of course, it’s not like latin is a subset of ballroom or anything

Unless that is whom you are dancing with?

diddly-squat said:

bourke said:

diddly-squat said:

I wonder how all the male ballroom dancers out there concentrate the way they do…???

Ballroom they (the women) tend to wear more appropriate clothing, and also ballroom dancing i not as intimate as Latin dancing.

you’re right of course, it’s not like latin is a subset of ballroom or anything

Does depend on the venue/suburb/age-group.

bourke said:

Bubblecar said:

Try this:

Bourke: You know you’re looking just perfect after that facial reconstruction
Her: WTF?
Bourke: A friend told me you’ve had major plastic surgery…
Her: No I’ve never had any plastic surgery
Bourke: Really? Well, whatever you do, don’t! You’re just right as you are!

See Bubble, my fear there would be her reaction would be more like:

Her: ‘WTF – which skoe told you that?’

… I am unsure if ‘it was just a joke’ would necessarily raise her esteem in me!

It bodes well that you are unsure.. Allow your hunch judgements more freedom.

I was hoping for some thoughtfully considered reasoning to be at least perhaps sprinkled about the comments…

bourke said:

I was hoping for some thoughtfully considered reasoning to be at least perhaps sprinkled about the comments…

you talking to me? ;)

The scream of “Sexist” by a woman is a way of getting something from a man that he would not otherwise freely give, so a man capitulates. A woman can sneeringly say “just like a man” whenever they like without censure. Sharia Law fixes this.

FFS

bourke said:

I was hoping for some thoughtfully considered reasoning to be at least perhaps sprinkled about the comments…

the reasoned comments have come and gone…

yes, the language used in the scenario you presented was inappropriate

and no, male leads are normally not distracted to the point of making mistakes simply due to the fact that are pressed up against a woman that is wearing a Latin ballroom outfit

it is you that is the problem, not everyone else

So, the fact that I am distracted is a problem?

To you?

Certainly not to me.

A distraction by definition has little in the way of choice involved – no one chooses to be distracted.

What is your reasoning?

Interesting thread

Skeptic Pete said:

Interesting thread

Gave it a miss.

I blame Mossad

Have Bourkie and Teh Wookster been seen together in the same room, huh huh?

neomyrtus_ said:

Have Bourkie and Teh Wookster been seen together in the same room, huh huh?

Are you implying done sort of sordid liaison?

Skeptic Pete said:

Interesting thread

Feels like most people are too scared of their own thoughts to put them into print.

When the ladies started wearing yoga pants men lost the war.