• tap tap tap clears throat tapa tap tap

Fuck

Yep, all appears to be ready.

I don’t know why you bothered.

I don’t know why I bothered starting the previous thread. Oh, I remember now. So us cricket tragics wouldn’t annoy the others so much.

Hmmm. I’m still mystified as to why you started this thread…

I live in hope.

sibeen said:

• tap tap tap clears throat tapa tap tap

Fuck

Yep, all appears to be ready.

Fuck Off

Yep

We can still win this thing!

I wonder how long it will take for the ABC to fix this cockup up.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-08-21/fifth-ashes-test-day-one-live-blog/4903286

Evenin’ all.

I seem to have omitted to start an Ashes Victory thread this year…. so far.

Ian said:

We can still win this thing!

Always in with a chance untill the first ball is bowled.

Fuck

Sibeen, where are you?

pharque

sexual intercourse

Bummer. Too slow…

bugger

Dropbear said:

bugger

You playing for the other team now Bear?

party_pants said:

Dropbear said:

bugger

You playing for the other team now Bear?

Negative PP, but thanks for the enquiry :)

Australia coach Darren Lehmann has accused England’s Stuart Broad of “blatant cheating” and urged fans in Australia to make sure the all-rounder “cries and goes home” during the return Ashes series.
—————————————————————-

I think we should go the boof.

The pitch has a strange texture on it. What’s that about?

Cheating Poms!

Those were my thoughts. It’s almost like there are mini-hills and mini-valleys in it.

Watson looks like getting out every ball..

Yes. Well almost every ball.

Still, he is putting on some runs. And he needs to, I reckon.

Nice fifty.

I’m watching some docos about Russian aircraft. I’ll rely on this thread for updates.

But seriously, back to matters of import :)

Fuck

sibeen said:

Fuck

Fuck, I missed it.

pommiejohn said:

sibeen said:

Fuck

Fuck, I missed it.

An australian batsmen made a poor shot choice… don’t worry, you’re likely to get at least half a dozen replays down the order…

diddly-squat said:

pommiejohn said:

sibeen said:

Fuck

Fuck, I missed it.

An australian batsmen made a poor shot choice… don’t worry, you’re likely to get at least half a dozen replays down the order…

Hopefully :)

Ooh. Jeez That was close.

pommiejohn said:

Ooh. Jeez That was close.

Stop ya whinging!

I’m currently thinking.. trying to confuse myself. An old invention I never finished.. It works but I always had in mind a finalising touch of class that I never got around to because of the KISS principle. It works, stupid. Don’t try to add any more complications.

and Watto is broken

diddly-squat said:

and Watto is broken

That looked like it hurt.

Bugger, Broad is bowling the bouncer well.

sibeen said:

Bugger, Broad is bowling the bouncer well.

We have to accept that we are batting on pitches the English bowlers have had groomed for them.. We do the same when the Poms come here.

sibeen said:

Bugger, Broad is bowling the bouncer well.

I don’t think Lehmann will have much success getting the Aussies to hate Broad. He is one of the opposition players I most admire, and wish we had his twin on our team.

Probably a good one not to be batting last on

2 for 143 is a good start. just turned it onto gem.

Fuck

Clucke

Boris said:

2 for 143 is a good start. just turned it onto gem.

Clarke OUT!

thought he was going to review that one for a sec

i must be a jinx.

diddly-squat said:

Boris said:

2 for 143 is a good start. just turned it onto gem.

Clarke OUT!

thought he was going to review that one for a sec

.

Hahahahaha!

Boris said:

i must be a jinx.

You bastard!

that’s pommie bastard if you don’t mind!

Smith

… Smith will save us!

not flailing around outside off stump like that he wont.

party_pants said:

Smith

… Smith will save us!

.

Smith?

Your “Smith the unworthy”?

Fuck

Fuck

oo

ee

ah

Ouch

Fuck

(Is that it?)

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

Smith

… Smith will save us!

.

Smith?

Your “Smith the unworthy”?

That’s him :)

100

Good ton, that.

Well done Watto.

And not before time.

Dropped!

Ian said:

And not before time.

Yeah, if only Marcus North could bowl pace, he’d have got a hundred once every 10 innings…

Fuck…..ken idiot :)

uuummmmmmm oh.

dropped!

yay!!

i could have caught that.

6

conservative batting from Smith there..

There’s some fear that Watson may pass his (admittedly pretty low) high score.

dv said:

There’s some fear that Watson may pass his (admittedly pretty low) high score.

We all have our better days.

dv said:

There’s some fear that Watson may pass his (admittedly pretty low) high score.

Could do – he’s had his mental lapse after a major milestone but England dropped him. So he has time to regroup and press on calmly.

Looking at Kerrigan bowl it gives me hope that my dream of playing for Australia is not yet over.

is it churlish to be wishing Watto had made these runs when it mattered…

dv said:

is it churlish to be wishing Watto had made these runs when it mattered…

No

That’s his job.

Michael V said:

dv said:

is it churlish to be wishing Watto had made these runs when it mattered…

No

it is child’s play, knowing that he didn’t.

There ya go, dv. Watson’s best score.

sibeen said:

There ya go, dv. Watson’s best score.

hurrah.

He’s proven that when there’s no tension he can show his worth.. We really need him to produce this effect under pressure.

From now on Australia should only play dead rubbers.

Milo K is landing the odd one..

..at last :)

And now we’ve seen everything – Watto reviews an LBW decision correctly.

MartinB said:

And now we’ve seen everything – Watto reviews an LBW decision correctly.

about time.

fuck

(well played)

That’s stumps.. going well

..and that helicopter looks as bulbous as that pigeon

hmmm

just warming up the thread.

geeez those poms are nice guys giving the aussie a chance to win at least one game.

it’s raining

It’d better stop.

still raining… more Russian aircraft docos to watch.

party_pants said:

still raining… more Russian aircraft docos to watch.

.

Pharque

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

still raining… more Russian aircraft docos to watch.

.

Pharque

—

Yes, golden showers

It will be interesting to see how they lose from here, as lose they surely must

dv said:

It will be interesting to see how they lose from here, as lose they surely must

Iast night I was waiting for the inevitable batting collapse to leave Watto stranded on 99

I see. A reverse jinx, of sorts.

deevs, was it you and Rule talking about saccade this morning/afternoon, or was it Rev?

Anyhow, a bit of cricket related science during the rain interval which also talks about the saccading that a batsman uses.

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0058289

dv said:

It will be interesting to see how they lose from here, as lose they surely must

——

We will be in a winning position but rain will defeat us.

it’s just a cruel twist of fate.

fuck

party_pants said:

fuck

Is that just a comment on the weather?

party_pants said:

fuck

——

Yeah, Tony is a brit.

Just like Boris.

Stealth said:

Is that just a comment on the weather?

Yes.

We are in a good position to press for 400+ but can’t get out on the field today because of rain. Is that not enough to warrant some exclamation?

party_pants said:

Stealth said:

Is that just a comment on the weather?

Yes.

We are in a good position to press for 400+ but can’t get out on the field today because of rain. Is that not enough to warrant some exclamation?

That sounds like a perfectly valid reason, but when I saw the comment I assumed that someone was out, and Baggygreen was not showing anything much…

Stealth said:

party_pants said:

Stealth said:

Is that just a comment on the weather?

Yes.

We are in a good position to press for 400+ but can’t get out on the field today because of rain. Is that not enough to warrant some exclamation?

That sounds like a perfectly valid reason, but when I saw the comment I assumed that someone was out, and Baggygreen was not showing anything much…

Get real, Stealth. If there was an Australian wicket to fall don’t you think that I’d be the first here to describe the action in my own ‘always copied, never bettered’ way.

Really?

:)

sibeen said:

Stealth said:

party_pants said:

Yes.

We are in a good position to press for 400+ but can’t get out on the field today because of rain. Is that not enough to warrant some exclamation?

That sounds like a perfectly valid reason, but when I saw the comment I assumed that someone was out, and Baggygreen was not showing anything much…

Get real, Stealth. If there was an Australian wicket to fall don’t you think that I’d be the first here to describe the action in my own ‘always copied, never bettered’ way.

Really?

:)

Good point, my most humblest apologies.

Play may start soon!

Michael V said:

Play may start soon!

Huzzah!

We’re on!

Yay!

Smith’s away…

4!

Fuck

Oh dear, it’s hit ‘im in the goolies.

the ball is starting to do stuff…

sibeen said:

Oh dear, it’s hit ‘im in the goolies.

.

That’s what a box is for…

Michael V said:

sibeen said:

Oh dear, it’s hit ‘im in the goolies.

.

That’s what a box is for…

Look, mate, I have my own inimitable commenting style. I provide three in depth analysis.

1. Fuck
2. Fuck Off
3. Oh dear, it’s hit ‘im in the goolies.

I find that with these three I can provide the colour and atmosphere that the punters demand.

OK…

Shot!

Michael V said:

Shot!

Smith the (almost)worthy!

:)

Fucking Lovely

and a 6 brings up his 100

SMITH the worthy

Hungy for Smith the Worthy!!

Whacked him for six right out of the middle of the bat

Well done son!

… back to the Bunnings online catalogue…

Fuck

fuck

I reckoned Smithy was going to prove to be a good choice. Now he has. I may lie down and wait for the sun-up. An electrician says he may be here at sparrowfart to fix my power box that shat itself. He said he was coming yesterday afternoon too.

400

yay!

Faulkner’s going batshit

dv said:

Faulkner’s going batshit

I hope he’s wearing Warner’s special socks…

I think Clarke must have given instructionds

fuck

nevermind

I didn’t see any of it last night, but I would have thought that they’ve batted too long.

party_pants said:

400

yay!

They don’t like it up ‘em!

BUMP

Michael V said:

BUMP

Cheers Mr V.

but I’ll be watching Colonwood and Wet Toast in the AFL first.

BLIMP

fuck off

GODDIM

On ya bike, Cook.

BLIMP

So why is Faulkner in the side?

far cough

Apparently you can wrap a plastic bag around a branch and get yourself a sip of water for breakfast…

Fuck Off

• Fuck Off

F… you, I won’t do what you tell me…

Aus have taken the 2nd new ball

far cough

Wickets are not exactly tumbling

party_pants said:

Aus have taken the 2nd new ball

and Stephen Fry is sporting a beard.

Gottim!

.. and England burn a review.

BLIMP

For sibeen.

.. and tell me, is it still raining there in England?

Ashes 2013: Australian victory unlikely as play abandoned on day four at The Oval

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-08-25/rain-scuppers-aussie-hopes-of-ashes-consolation-victory/4910470

:( :( :( :( :( :(

What, on the same view by topic page, that one?

Nah the other one.

I think Australia is going to have to bat. Might just be five overs of belt the shit out of it. Then try to jag them out a second time. I don’t think they are in a position to forfeit an innings.

That’s right, sirrah, return to the dressing room.

Faulkner takes a third wicket on debut.

Four-for for Faulkner

Well … Warner, this is your time to shine. Think of it as a 20-20.

Is Rogers injured?

WTF is Watson doing opening?

He’s already played in that position in this series.

Surely he should be at #4, or7, 8, 9, 10, 11.

If you can go right ahead and score at 10 per over rather than 1 per over, that would be great.

What are they playing at?

dv said:

If you can go right ahead and score at 10 per over rather than 1 per over, that would be great.

What are they playing at?

Getting dropped, it appears.

Getting dropped, it appears.

—-

In the field or from the team?

16 off that over, more like it.

fuck

Fuck

not that it bloody matters……………….

I don’t think we need to fuck these wickets. Wickets are shit in this circumstance. They need to declare with near as buggery to 50 overs left to bowl in order to have any kind of chance. Just got to get in and smash.

dv said:

I don’t think we need to fuck these wickets. Wickets are shit in this circumstance. They need to declare with near as buggery to 50 overs left to bowl in order to have any kind of chance. Just got to get in and smash.

Sorry, it’s become a habit.

Fuck

Fuck

Good shot that, picking out the good sorts :)

Good shot that, picking out the good sorts :)

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

So will England actually go for this or will they figure 3 nil is fine?

dv said:

So will England actually go for this or will they figure 3 nil is fine?

They’ve never won 4 – zip, so I’d imagine Cook would want to have a go.

Declare now.

+1

dv said:

Declare now.

It is well within Australia’s capability to lose from here, so declaration is not such a good idea.

Declaration!

It is well within Australia’s capability to lose from here, so declaration is not such a good idea.
—-

To my mind, 4-0 is not much worse than 3-0, whereas 3-1 is significantly better. They’ve got to give them something to chase.

Also, a tea dec means they save a couple of overs.

Stealth said:

dv said:

Declare now.

It is well within Australia’s capability to lose from here, so declaration is not such a good idea.

Well, they’re about to lose in a few weeks…so what’s the difference? You should just give up now.

from my keyboard to pup’s ears.

kii said:

Stealth said:

dv said:

Declare now.

It is well within Australia’s capability to lose from here, so declaration is not such a good idea.

Well, they’re about to lose in a few weeks…so what’s the difference? You should just give up now.

If we do lose in few weeks, I wonder how much encouragement the Wookster will need to find a grassy knoll near Canberra…

You are a genius, DV. We bow down before you’re superior cricket knowledge.

You’re just trying to make up for ignoring me on Django

I am in fact the only one who responded to you on Django, and yet I’m the one, the only one, getting a bucketing. What, is the rest of the forum blameless?

Am I the only one to be pointed at, made a pariah of, to be mocked? All this when I am in fact completely irreproachable.

sobs

England are 60% up on where they need to be after just one over. I will both DV and Sibeen responsible if this continues…

sibeen said:

Am I the only one to be pointed at, made a pariah of, to be mocked?

Yep, always. Every time.

kii said:

sibeen said:

Am I the only one to be pointed at, made a pariah of, to be mocked?

Yep, always. Every time.

As long as we all know where we stand!

kii said:

sibeen said:

Am I the only one to be pointed at, made a pariah of, to be mocked?

Yep, always. Every time.

Wellno, but Arts isn’t here at the moment…

(I hope)

Fuck Off

A bloke walks into a brothel and says: “I’m a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?”

The madam replies: “$60”.

“Wow, what do I get for that?” he says.

She says: “A baggy green cap and an Australia cricket shirt”.

Bit harsh. I think 2010-11 was more humiliating.