1. Incorrect spelling of Luciferville is allowed.
2. No damn ribena slurpers allowed.
3. 18 beers a day must be consumed by law by all who wish to reside in Luciferville.
4. The state will supply all who do so need with free quantities of dettol, as well as a wire brush, for all their medical needs.
5. No one who stumbles across Luciferville, can forward the way to Luciferville to others except the head of state (ie. me), unless they will get beer for doing so.
6. Drink a beer.
7. No one named Alan may enter Luciferville for any reason.
8. The Lab when they find that I have claimed Luciferville for my very own, will not get angry with me but see the lighter side of the situation and go ha ha ha.
9. No smoking, if you wish to partake you must go out the back with the dogs in the freezing cold. If you have no dogs then please feel free to take any stuffed plush carni prize you have with you out the backyard, if you have no backyard, sticking your head out a window will suffice, so long as the dog or stuffed plush carni prize is at least within 1m of your person.
10. No one mention the war.
11. No linking for any reason.
11.1 Unless you really want to.
12. No mobile phones are allowed in Luciferville, if you want to talk to someone stick ya head out the window and shout.
12.1. Might as well take your dog or stuffed plush carni prize with you and have a smoke while you’re there I say.
13. I must be worshipped as a god.
13 Amendment. If in time of great SSSF problems science threads may be asked.
14. No hugs allowed, hugs suck dammit.
15. No flak allowed.
16. All nings must be obtained through official channels.
17. Children shall be shot.
18. Have a beer.
19. Every one must ROTFLTAO or at least LOL once a day.
20. No one must ever say “Might see you in Luciferville, where the air is clear and bright, where the bulldogs all have rubber teeth, and the cops have wooden legs.” Dammit.
21. Drink 2 beers.
22. All citizens of Luciferville must have seen Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn at least 3 times.
23. See 24.
24. See 23.
25. Ignore rules 23 and 24.
26. When greeting fellow Luciferians you must always say we are the Knights of Ni!!!!
27. Drink a beer.
28. All rules subject to change without notice.
29. Read all the rules.
30. No poo poo mouths.
31. No new threads.
32. Drink a beer.
33. No asking of questions about Luciferville allowed.
34. Lucifer is minister for everything in Luciferville, except for waste management and sewerage.
35. Arts is to be now known here and abroad as “token chick”.
35.1. If Arts mentions ribena, the word “cellar” or defends Alan™ ever again she shall have her botty spanked until it is ribena coloured, thus providing ironic torture, and amusement for all normal-bottied people. She shall then be thrown out of Luciferville.
36. Ballboy will have its head chopped off unless it stops doing java script after putting “Ruler of the land of Luciferville” after my name.
37. Kelvin is hereby named Minister of Waste Management, with an annual salary of $0.
38. No referance to any cylindrical plastic drinking utensils will be made regardless of colour.
39. No one in Luciferville will admit that they have lost their mind and admit to seeing anything weird over the skies west of South Australia.
40. No reference to the ‘Back Door Bucket Method’ or any part thereof shall be excused.
41. No wrath pacifying will be tolerated.
42. Drink a beer.
43. Token chicks who dont get us beer, must show me boobies.
44. No shouting (unless your head is out the window and you are talking to a friend) in Luciferville.
45. No one may talk in Luciferville after Lucifer goes to bed.
45. No poxy jokes allowed in Luciferville.
46. Only 45 may have two meanings.
47. No posting in the rules thread.
48. Drink a beer.
49. Cold Kentucky Fried Chicken is the national dish of Luciferville
49.1. All Luciferians will lobby KFC to introduce bucket-o-skin to their menu
50. All tecno, rap, and heavy metal music is banned in Luciferville
51. All oranges are banned in Luciferville
52. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is the Luciferian national anthem.
53 . The Luciferian flag consits of a DD cup bra with a stubbie in one cup and a bottle of dettol in the other placed in the middle, with a fancy doodad shield thingy in the top left corner with a wire brush on each side.
53 . The leader of Luciferville shall be greeted but saying the word Huzzah!!!
54. Moon is hereby granted the title of the Royal Huzzaherrer.
55. Upon waking each and every day each Luciferian will recite the following…“who needs friends when you can drink at home, alone, in your room, in the dark.”
56. Drink a beer.
57. Everyones must drive tanks only.
58. Doing burn outs in your tanks are also mandatory.
59. Stuff the ABC mob that control this forum. IT’S OURS!! (By ours, I mean The Evil One’s).
60. Lucifer is not bound by any of the rules.
61. From this point on no one other than Lucifer may make any of the rules.
62. No shouting at Steve.
63. Steve(primus) is here by granted the position of Royal Meteroligist of Luciferville, and as such will ensure that every day is a sunny day with a few showers, with winds gusting from the SE to the NW.
64. Those who have no understanding of the word Ni will only be excused if they bring us a shrubbery.
65. Alan™ is hereby granted the position of Court Jester, and may as he sees fit poke fun of / at / with / to any one.
65a. If Alan in his position sees fit to make fun of / at / with / to Lucifer, all other citizens of Luciferville are required by law to ignore such fun making.
66. Have a beer.
67. All toilet seats must be left in the upright position.
68. No one that claims to be of the mutant may enjoy the feel of anything velvet, be it at spotlight or any place else…. dammit
69 (tee hee hee 69). Woodie is welcome in Luciferville, and does not have to abide by any of the rules except those that mention the drinking of beer.
70. Woodie is hereby granted the position of Dr Woodie. Attorney at Luciferlaw, and as such must from this point forward point out to the citizens of Luciferville the mistakes that they make according to Lucifervillian law.
71. Drink a beer.
72. Cerian is hereby appointed the position of Royal Scribe of Luciferville and as such will be responsible for scribing down everything that I say that is of national importance and ohh and she has to make sure all the ink wells in Luciferville are filled daily ohh and she can write about me in Mills and Boon type senarios for all the babes to drool over when I’m not here and stuff, and as a stunt man I always wanted to be a stuntman.
73. Wen is hereby granted the position of Minister for Spaghetti Oops, Custard, Cheestiks, and other various kiddie foods. Her main duty will be as test taster for my good self, so as to stop any attack against my good person, for doing this Wen has the right, no the obligation to beat Alan severely at least once a week.
74. Bruce D as Alan’s brother is hereby given the position of Minister of Dobbing in Alan to His Mum when He is a Bad Boy, the position comes with the extra benifit of everyone feeling sorry for him at all times because he unlike the rest of us will have to put up with Alan for the rest of his life, as well as probably having seen Alan naked in the tub when they were kids and other ekky gross stuff like that. He has the right to cry on anyone’s shoulder whenever he sees fit.
74a. Except Lucifer’s, Lucifer don’t like no god damned sooks crying on his shoulders dammit, it’s too much like a hug.
74b. He also gets to be the Southern Keeper of All Things Alcohollic, Beer, JD, Bundy, Charrdy, Ribina Juice, Bubbly Wines, etc. (but no straws, pink, bendy or otherwise)
75. CJW is hereby granted the position of Minister for owls and Bilbils and solar energy, his duties include the safe keeping of all luciferian owls and explaining to each and every newcomer to luciferville just what the hell a bilbil is, ohh and he has to keep an eye on the sun too
76. Farillatio (and any of the other bazzillion names he uses) is hereby granted the position of Minister for Sport, duties include making sure that all sports are kept out of the fair land of Luciferville.
77. Phoebe is hereby granted the position of Minister of Forign Affairs and Frikadellas, her duties may include ummm stuff that is foreign like anything to do with Hans Christian Anderson, the dude who designed the Sydney Opera house and frikadellas, she may also if the mood is upon her act the fool.
78. Misscarol is hereby granted the position of Minister for Education, her duties include keeping my kids the hell away from me for at least 6 hours a day for a minimum of 40 weeks a year, ohh she can also beat them whenever she sees fit, umm and Alan too.
79. The traditional way of saying goodnight is now “AND STAY OUT!”
80. Spiny Norman is hereby granted the position of Minister of Transport, and as such must pay me on a monthly basis enough to buy 3 cases of beer.
81. The Beervatar is hereby granted the position of Supplier of Beers and as such must run around the land keeping everyone supplied with beer.
82. No procrastinating.
82a. Unless it can be done later.
83. Upon any changes of rules, beer must be consumed.
84. Drink a beer.
85. Bad beer over any wine, any day.
86. Drink a beer.
87. The use of four-letter words in Luciferville is acceptable only if they include the letters
‘B’ – ‘E’ – ‘E’ – ‘R’.
88. All termites in Luciferville will only eat radiata pine, be it treated or otherwise.
89. All ladies who don’t like beer must at least drink shandies when a rule that states drink/have a beer occurs. Alan, being considered a girl by all in Luciferville, must also follow this rule.
90. Brendon is hereby prohibited from making any comments about the taste of any type of beverage, be it alcoholic or otherwise (except for chardy, coz it really is shit).
91. Trivia is banned in Luciferville.
92. Any time sport is mentioned in Luciferville, all must respond with these stirring words… schwing batterbatterbatterbatter schwing batterbatter
Let’s face, I be awesome.