OK, I”ve written Asperger backwards.
Rather than an epidemic of Autism spectrum disorders, I’ve come to the conslusion that the Western World is suffering from an epidemic of an equally pathological mental disorder with the exact opposite symptoms.
Symptoms of Regrepsa disorder.
1. Uncomfortable with silence, to the point of it being an undiagnosed phobia.
A person with Regrepsa will leave the radio or television on all the time in order to avoid silence. They will listen to an iPod or similar whenever on public transport. A person with Regrepsa will talk incessantly when possible.
2. Completely uninterested in “things” except as possessions.
A person with Regrepsa will have no interest in anything that is not the posession of someone.
3. Unable to sense (see, hear, smell, perceive) anything that does not have a verbal tag.
A person with Regrepsa is unable to perceive anything that has not already been described to them in words. They cannot see the semi-translucent colours of a stone, the reflection in plastic, the shadows cast by a tree on a windy day. They cannot smell the air after a thunderstorm or hear the sound of car tyres on a wet road.
4. Completely unable to perceive a part of an object.
A person with Regrepsa can only see an object as a whole, being unable to observe any part of it that is not an independent object.
5. Blind to non-verbal communication.
Sometimes the deliberate movement of a single muscle of the face or hands can carry a freightload of meaning. A person with Regrepsa is blind to all of this.
6. Uncomfortable with being alone, to the point of it being an undiagnosed phobia.
A person with Regrepsa loves their mobile phone and uses it as much as possible except when talking face to face with friends, and sometimes even then.
7. Only uses social networking sites on the internet, if any.
If using the internet, a person with Regepsa never reads pdfs. They restrict internet usage to those sites with a very strong social component, such as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and multplayer games that allow chat.
8. Unable to listen to orchestral classical music.
A person with Regrepsa will refuse to listen to any music that doesn’t have words in a language that they can understand.
9. Completely uninterested in mathematics, except possibly in financing.
A person with Regrepsa has no innate mathematical ability.
10. Lack of concentration.
Comparison of severity of Aspergers and Regepsa.
Aspergers and Regrepsa are similar in severity, but Regrepsa is tens to hundreds of times more common.
In both cases, poor results at school are expected. With Regrepsa a school student can excel only in languages and team sports, if anything. With Aspergers a school student can sometimes excel in more subjects than that. A person with Regrepsa would not necessarily have difficulty getting a job but would usually have great difficulty keeping that job as their deficiencies would quickly become apparent, so would tend to flit from job to job when not unemployed. Aspergers and Regrepsa hamper a persons earning capacity by about the same amount.
People with Regrepsa have the added difficulty of being more likely than average to be a public abuser of alcohol and drugs.
A person with high-functioning Aspergers may be an artist or mathematician. A person with high-functioning Regrepsa may be a politician or salesman.
Hiding Regrepsa.
A person with Regrepsa may try to hide their disorder by pretending to be dyslectic (to hide having no interest in reading long documents) or ADHD (the attention deficit is real, but no hyperactivity other than the verbal kind).
A cure for Regrepsa?
Help us to find a cure for Regrepsa. Donate now to the “You Have Been Duped” charity.