This is a commonly heard statement, is there any medical evidence for it? Often happens when a man loses his life partner, sort of passive euthanasia?

bob(from black rock) said:

This is a commonly heard statement, is there any medical evidence for it? Often happens when a man loses his life partner, sort of passive euthanasia?

Clinical depression.

It’s possibly prophylactic that it’s a ‘natural’ death and the deceased person had a ‘good innings’, but too along the journey together there were some consideration given to the very real likelihood that one would go first and the other be left without (the order is generally unknown). But ‘sharing everything’ maybe doesn’t lend to dealing with this likely eventuality and the later reality. People try, and trying a lot of the time is a good as it gets.

There are many different types of death, though the outcome may lend to generalizations like ‘dead is dead’, or ‘dead is gone’, but as things go how and when is often important.

With close relationships anothers ‘ways’ can be internalized (even incorporated) into as part of ones internal world, and are part of ego (I use ego in a nice way, we all have one, if we can hang onto some). Internal monologue concerning the deceased is not uncommon, and even dialogue with them, and it’s worth mentioning the while some other were alive that when absent those involved are memories to each other. Anytime two are apart they don’t know the other is alive, so we are in-great-part running memories to each other.

I suppose caring about some other comes close to putting the value of their self up there with your own, on a somewhat equal basis, so dissolving that, or more reconciling it after death can be ‘work’. How do you reconstitute the memories – the love – watching out for the deceased afterward when no-longer physical?

Can such losses or the work of adustment be non-survivable? And if in some cases something like that were true, perhaps related is the question of whether it is unique to humans.

Humans have long memories often, and along with the force of desire (and emotion more broadly) can summon to work faculties which for the most part serve them well. No less of the work of relationship bonds. The work of these faculties speaks of a long history of what tended survival, what secured offspring, and it speaks too of the flipside of failures.

So partners, or partner, is related to offspring, their survival chances (getting them to breeding age, and helping with grandchildren), the recombined DNA effort through time and into the future.

It is no surprise that losses of a partner, or a child for that matter, leave some ‘feeling like they are dieing’ (not necessarily the same as ‘feel like dieing’, an important difference to distinguish), because they can feel that way, which is somewhat different to how such ‘work’ might be commonly ‘conceived’, to the extent conceived is the right word for it.

Likely it’s possible to feel like some reality is killing you, that you are dieing, but in a way it is the will to live and the will for life that does that.

I’d go with the depression thing.

When my Grandfather died, my grandmother only lasted around a year. They had an incredibly strong relationship. I’m fairly sure she stopped looking after herself ie. taking her medication, missing meals etc.

My other grandmother who regularly copped a flogging from her husband is still going strong almost 30 years after his death. She’s a spiteful old cow who knows how to hold a grudge and loves retribution. I think hate keeps her strong. She reminds me of Palpatine.