FUCK OFF

Ian said:

FUCK OFF

Is this about the state of origin?

Gabriel Gaté will be doing Taste of the Ashes this year.

Ian said:

FUCK OFF

Watch out.

Sibeen claims copyright on those letters, when placed in that order and in bold, under a heading including the word “Ashes”.

It’s a real orgy of sport on telly tonight. Cricket, tennis, cycling, footy and cooking.

There is only criggit tonite..

And a bit of tennis

and The One.

Divine Angel said:

It’s a real orgy of sport on telly tonight. Cricket, tennis, cycling, footy and cooking.

Probably more blood and tears in the Masterchef kitchen than any of the others?

The Rev Dodgson said:

Ian said:

FUCK OFF

Watch out.

Sibeen claims copyright on those letters, when placed in that order and in bold, under a heading including the word “Ashes”.

Well he can have ‘em..

Where is he?
Pissed again?

Ian said:

Well he can have ‘em..

Where is he?
Pissed again?

probably out enjoying a game of basketball.

Skeptic Pete said:

Ian said:

FUCK OFF

Is this about the state of origin?

Dead as a concept.

Gottim!!

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

.. and another

Eng 3/43

Starkers – finally gets just one ball full and on the stumps and gets the LBW.

Alkali comes from Arabic words meaning “The Ashes”

dv said:

Alkali comes from Arabic words meaning “The Ashes”

And the K – for “kalium”, potassium.

FUCK OFF Root

Sibeen missed another FUCK OFF there somewhere.

(And Djoker wins the first)

FUCK OFF Stokes

Into the tail

FUCK OFF Butler

(Another set to D Joker)

I

Stumps 7/343

And thanks to Mr Been for that scintillating commentary from this miserable little patch of mud in Wales.

Engerland all out 430.

Hmmm …

what happened to Johnson?

SNIGGER

FUCK

Oh dear, it’s hit him in the groin.

Oh dear it’s hit him in the groin.

still, only hurts for a while.

Both of em

FUCK

sibeen said:

FUCK

So…..the retired London cabbie who lives in town always talks to me about the cricket and blah de blah blah. Yesterday I told him about the commentary that runs through the cricket thread here. Thanks to this thread I have a very vague awareness of the cricket.

kii said:

sibeen said:

FUCK

So…..the retired London cabbie who lives in town always talks to me about the cricket and blah de blah blah. Yesterday I told him about the commentary that runs through the cricket thread here. Thanks to this thread I have a very vague awareness of the cricket.

Are you saying that you know fuck all?

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

This is not good. Can’t afford to be more than 100 behind on the first innings.

I’ve switched over the cricket because it’s half-time at the footy, and two wickets have fallen quickly.

FUCK

Happiness is not prevailing.

party_pants said:

Happiness is not prevailing.

That’s because it is a warm gun.

Back to the cricket. Carlton are shit – they try hard but some of them couldn’t hit the side of a barn from 25m away.

FUCK OFF

sorry, remiss of me:

FUCK OFF

Thought you’d fallen asleep :)

sibeen said:

sorry, remiss of me:

FUCK OFF

Do you mean FUCK in the direction of OFF?

Damn, they added like 35 runs while I had a shower.

dv said:

Damn, they added like 35 runs while I had a shower.

They’ve gone a tad un-English.

bob(from black rock) said:

sibeen said:

sorry, remiss of me:

FUCK OFF

Do you mean FUCK in the direction of OFF?

No, he meant FUCK is off the menu.

dv said:

Damn, they added like 35 runs while I had a shower.

Best not to get the runs whilst under the shower, then again better than in bed .

I assumed he was inviting sexual congress with someone called Off

FUCK OFF

Nice catch!

dv said:

I assumed he was inviting sexual congress with someone called Off

It’s not very nice to make fun of Sibeen’s Tourettes…

Witty Rejoinder said:

dv said:

I assumed he was inviting sexual congress with someone called Off

It’s not very nice to make fun of Sibeen’s Tourettes…

Is it okay to make fun of sibeen?

kii said:

Witty Rejoinder said:

dv said:

I assumed he was inviting sexual congress with someone called Off

It’s not very nice to make fun of Sibeen’s Tourettes…

Is it okay to make fun of sibeen?

FUCK OFF!

:)

kii said:

Witty Rejoinder said:

dv said:

I assumed he was inviting sexual congress with someone called Off

It’s not very nice to make fun of Sibeen’s Tourettes…

Is it okay to make fun of sibeen?

Not just okay, it’s mandatory

:p

Need some wickets right about now, otherwise this game is slipping away for Australia,

Witty Rejoinder said:

dv said:

I assumed he was inviting sexual congress with someone called Off

It’s not very nice to make fun of Sibeen’s Tourettes…

Ref?

sibeen said:

kii said:

Witty Rejoinder said:

It’s not very nice to make fun of Sibeen’s Tourettes…

Is it okay to make fun of sibeen?

FUCK OFF!

:)

Yep, just about to. Work today after a little lie in that involved a snooze and a very strange dream about the neighbours from my time in Hunter’s Hill :/

FUCK OFF

FUCK the Devil Girl from Mars is all that’s on.

Chasing 412 our chances are
FUCK ALL

Ian said:

FUCK the Devil Girl from Mars is all that’s on.

Chasing 412 our chances are
FUCK ALL

In fact the cuberoot of sweet fuckall.

It’s been fourteen years since Australia last won the Ashes in England.

Bar stewards and mung beans!

A day and one session should see us home.
Listening on the radio last night, they were giving tennis updates.
On of the commentators was saying he was talking to Roger Federa at a function and he was supprised at Rogers knowledge of cricket, he’s a big fan, knows all the rules field placings etc.

Warnie (blessings and peace be upon him) says if we get through the new ball we’re home on the pigs back.

Peak Warming Man said:

A day and one session should see us home.

More than a day, isn’t that a tad pessimistic?

snigger

sibeen said:

Peak Warming Man said:

A day and one session should see us home.

More than a day, isn’t that a tad pessimistic?

Well I’m a conservative.
I’m predicting we’ll be 5/331 at stumps.
Polish the rest off in the morning session.

FUCK

I think it carried :(

Does that count as a Review against Australia, I think knot.

party_pants said:

I think it carried :(

I can’t see it, nor hear it, so I’m relying on commentary here…

Peak Warming Man said:

Does that count as a Review against Australia, I think knot.

Nyet.

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

I think it carried :(

I can’t see it, nor hear it, so I’m relying on commentary here…

I’ll keep you updated, MV.

Michael try here.

http://www.bbc.com/sport/live/cricket/32809239

And ABC online commentary.

sibeen said:

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

I think it carried :(

I can’t see it, nor hear it, so I’m relying on commentary here…

I’ll keep you updated, MV.

Thanks. Appreciated.

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

I think it carried :(

I can’t see it, nor hear it, so I’m relying on commentary here…

Rogers out for 10. Edge to 2nd slip, only just carried. The umpires on the ground were not sure so they called the TV umpire in to check.

Warner’s got through a very shakey start.
The ground’s not going to be big enough for him from here on in.

Peak Warming Man said:

Michael try here.

http://www.bbc.com/sport/live/cricket/32809239

Thanks. Aunty and BBC and Holiday Forum commentary. Egg selln’t!

I’d like to know what Bubblecar thought of that dismissal.

Peak Warming Man said:

I’d like to know what Bubblecar thought of that dismissal.

We may never know. He likes to keep schtumm on such things.

-m

;)

Why did Simon Katich pin Michael Clarke to the wall by his throat in a bust-up in 2009?

Clarke got a pair in the match Clarke did not want to go to Katich’s house for a barbecue Clarke wanted to sing the team’s victory song early Katich was bitten by Clarke’s dog at a barbecue

Don’t keep us in suspense.

The Ashes – Meet the players

Which Australian player was denied entry to the UK when he visited in 2012?

Mitchell Johnson
Mitchell Starc
Nathan Lyon
Josh Hazlewood

I was surprised how small Pup is. Shorter than me and very much thinner. Boof is also much thinner than I expected.

The quiz is here

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/33349967

Some runs are coming now. Let’s hope Smith and Warner can keep their partnership going for a long time. They are both capable of lots of runs.

FUCK

Damn. I was just in the bedroom putting some socks and shoes on.

Warner out, on the stroke of lunch.

Heck.

Bless my soul

Damn. Smith out for 33.

Bloody.

Baste my steaming turnips

dv said:

Baste my steaming turnips

Baste their steaming turds, I reckon.

FUCK

and a belated one for Smith who I missed whilst getting beer:

FUCK

bump

Time for Le Tour.

bump

OH FUCKING DEAR

Good to see that the Brits have an Aussie coach.

Bayliss vs Lehmann

Will be a cracker.

FUCK

A piss poor effort to date.

At least Watson is still there.

sibeen said:

FUCK

It’s a case of one out, all out, is it Mr Been?

Looks lie it’d‘ve been good to watch if you were a Pommie.

tauto said:

Good to see that the Brits have an Aussie coach.

Bayliss vs Lehmann

Will be a cracker.

So really this is going to be an Aussie win.

+k

lie ———-> like

dv said:

tauto said:

Good to see that the Brits have an Aussie coach.

Bayliss vs Lehmann

Will be a cracker.

So really this is going to be an Aussie win.

I don’t know how to answer this. It’s complicated.

A 6 for Johnson! Off Moeen, the scalp-man.

We’re well over one third towards the run target.

sibeen said:

We’re well over one third towards the run target.

Nice. Pity some batsmen couldn’t hold their wickets…

FUCK

sibeen said:

FUCK

Damn, not Watson??

7/151.

:( :( :(

Best drink heavily and go to bed, I reckon.

party_pants said:

sibeen said:

FUCK

Damn, not Watson??

Yes.

Bye, bye.

sibeen said:

Yes.

Bye, bye.

No way. The bloke has played over 50 test matches for Australia. He must have photos of the selectors and that goat or something. No way they’ll drop him.

Well over half way :)

FUCK

FUCK

• FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK*

Could’ve been worse

Australian captain Michael Clarke admits England was better than his team ‘in every facet of the game’

That was disappointing but predictable.

We need a Plan B. Maybe play to the conditions. Why can’t our bowlers swing a ball? Why do they stick with Watson.. same old..

Still.. It’s a funny old game.

Ian said:

That was disappointing but predictable.

We need a Plan B. Maybe play to the conditions. Why can’t our bowlers swing a ball? Why do they stick with Watson.. same old..

Still.. It’s a funny old game.

The English have worked on a specific approach for each batsman. It worked well for them. Several of the Aussies have played in English county cricket so they should know the terrain.

Ian said:

That was disappointing but predictable.

We need a Plan B. Maybe play to the conditions. Why can’t our bowlers swing a ball? Why do they stick with Watson.. same old..

Still.. It’s a funny old game.

Not always trying to dominate with the bat might be a good start, sometimes they just got to grit out a long innings against good bowling. First innings was a clkassic example of most of the batsmen getting start but not going on with it; apart from Rogers 95 the rest of the card for the top 6 reads 17,33,38, 31, 30. Similar story for the second innings but with a few failures in there, those that got starts couldn’t turn them into big scores.

party_pants said:

Ian said:

That was disappointing but predictable.

We need a Plan B. Maybe play to the conditions. Why can’t our bowlers swing a ball? Why do they stick with Watson.. same old..

Still.. It’s a funny old game.

Not always trying to dominate with the bat might be a good start, sometimes they just got to grit out a long innings against good bowling. First innings was a clkassic example of most of the batsmen getting start but not going on with it; apart from Rogers 95 the rest of the card for the top 6 reads 17,33,38, 31, 30. Similar story for the second innings but with a few failures in there, those that got starts couldn’t turn them into big scores.

Watson could learn from that first sentence. Steve Waugh should be the coach. He’s the one who looked the most awkward learning to defend but made good of it in the end. The Brits simply did their homework and it shows.

party_pants said:

Ian said:

That was disappointing but predictable.

We need a Plan B. Maybe play to the conditions. Why can’t our bowlers swing a ball? Why do they stick with Watson.. same old..

Still.. It’s a funny old game.

Not always trying to dominate with the bat might be a good start, sometimes they just got to grit out a long innings against good bowling. First innings was a clkassic example of most of the batsmen getting start but not going on with it; apart from Rogers 95 the rest of the card for the top 6 reads 17,33,38, 31, 30. Similar story for the second innings but with a few failures in there, those that got starts couldn’t turn them into big scores.

Whoops, let me fix up the quotes.

roughbarked said:

Watson could learn from that first sentence. Steve Waugh should be the coach. He’s the one who looked the most awkward learning to defend but made good of it in the end. The Brits simply did their homework and it shows.

The Shane named Watson has always been like that. In over 100 test innings he has only made 4 hundreds, yet he has reached 50 about 20 times. Very low conversion rate, yet he has been on the team for the last 7 or 8 years, and is still preferred over giving some young bloke a go.

party_pants said:

party_pants said:

Ian said:

That was disappointing but predictable.

We need a Plan B. Maybe play to the conditions. Why can’t our bowlers swing a ball? Why do they stick with Watson.. same old..

Still.. It’s a funny old game.

Not always trying to dominate with the bat might be a good start, sometimes they just got to grit out a long innings against good bowling. First innings was a clkassic example of most of the batsmen getting start but not going on with it; apart from Rogers 95 the rest of the card for the top 6 reads 17,33,38, 31, 30. Similar story for the second innings but with a few failures in there, those that got starts couldn’t turn them into big scores.

Whoops, let me fix up the quotes.

My reply got screwed up because I didn’t look at what was wrong.

party_pants said:

roughbarked said:

Watson could learn from that first sentence. Steve Waugh should be the coach. He’s the one who looked the most awkward learning to defend but made good of it in the end. The Brits simply did their homework and it shows.

The Shane named Watson has always been like that. In over 100 test innings he has only made 4 hundreds, yet he has reached 50 about 20 times. Very low conversion rate, yet he has been on the team for the last 7 or 8 years, and is still preferred over giving some young bloke a go.

The selectors must miss Gilchrist.

Fifth day, should be a cracker, pitch will play a role.
I’ve got beer and I’ll turn the wireless on early so the valves will warmed up.

rubs hands together

Peak Warming Man said:

Fifth day, should be a cracker, pitch will play a role.
I’ve got beer and I’ll turn the wireless on early so the valves will warmed up.

rubs hands together

Last I checked we were in a bit of bother but there’s this young chap called Watson who I expect will thump about 150 to get us out of it.

Bloody channel nein. They, nor any of their subsidiaries, seem to be showing the cricket this evening.

The pricks!

sibeen said:

Bloody channel nein. They, nor any of their subsidiaries, seem to be showing the cricket this evening.

The pricks!

It was already coded in. They just didn’t change it and substituted cop shows.

Jim Maxwell rates them.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-07-12/ashes-australian-test-ratings/6613546?section=sport

Interesting.

Peak Warming Man said:

Jim Maxwell rates them.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-07-12/ashes-australian-test-ratings/6613546?section=sport

Interesting.

“Shane Watson – 3”

WTF? Watson is half the side! He wouldn’t won it singlehandedly if it weren’t for the rest of the team messing it up.

What?

Ian said:

What?

Nobody said anything but if they did it was probably FUCK OFF.

WTF? Watson is half the side! He wouldn’t won it singlehandedly if it weren’t for the rest of the team messing it up.

—-

What?

Ian said:

WTF? Watson is half the side! He wouldn’t won it singlehandedly if it weren’t for the rest of the team messing it up.

—-

What?

10 marks out of 10, only because the input field wouldn’t let me put 11.

dv said:

Ian said:

WTF? Watson is half the side! He wouldn’t won it singlehandedly if it weren’t for the rest of the team messing it up.

—-

What?

10 marks out of 10, only because the input field wouldn’t let me put 11.

{

sardonic grin

Geez what a circus.

Haddin is out, Faulkner has been dropped from the mickey mouse games for pissy driving, must be some doubt over Starc FMD.

No problem with a player getting dropped for pissy driving. They deserve it.

Haddin is a bit more of a worry, they just say personal reasons leaving it open to speculation. But I’ve not rated him all that highly recently, if he pulls out of the team and we give a younger bloke a go it might be a blessing in disguise.