*Disclaimer: these puns are for consideration to be included in an assignment. My company’s marketing dept can do their own work :p

I’m looking for puns or redone Christmas carol lyrics to include doughnut-related words. Annnnnnd go!

Divine Angel said:

*Disclaimer: these puns are for consideration to be included in an assignment. My company’s marketing dept can do their own work :p

I’m looking for puns or redone Christmas carol lyrics to include doughnut-related words. Annnnnnd go!

round yon doughnut.

We wish you a Krispy Kristmas,
We wish you a Krispy Kristmas,
We wish you a Krispy Kristmas,
And a Kremy New Year

Bubblecar said:

We wish you a Krispy Kristmas,
We wish you a Krispy Kristmas,
We wish you a Krispy Kristmas,
And a Kremy New Year

Heh, they actually did that a few years ago and Christians got offended.

This assignment is about generic doughnut company; I’m terrible at puns.

Away in a manger
No crib in this place,
The little Lord Jesus
Is stuffing his face

With Choc Iceds and Custards
And Original Glazed,
As the stars in the night sky
Look down quite amazed

The cattle are lowing
As the Baby he chews,
No doughnuts too fine
For the King of the Jews

I love Thee, Lord Jesus
Look down from the sky,
And keep munching doughnuts
‘Til morning is nigh

Bubblecar said:

Away in a manger
No crib in this place,
The little Lord Jesus
Is stuffing his face

With Choc Iceds and Custards
And Original Glazed,
As the stars in the night sky
Look down quite amazed

The cattle are lowing
As the Baby he chews,
No doughnuts too fine
For the King of the Jews

I love Thee, Lord Jesus
Look down from the sky,
And keep munching doughnuts
‘Til morning is nigh

‘they’ wouldn’t like that one.

“bump” for this one.

Should have been more offerings by now.

I reckon the artistic should work with American Christmas songs for this. Avoid the religious ones. Just use the musak ones….

http://www.businessinsider.com.au/the-most-popular-christmas-songs-in-america-2013-12

Bubblecar said:

“bump” for this one.

Should have been more offerings by now.

Nah. Doughnuts have nothing to do with Christmas.

roughbarked said:

Bubblecar said:

“bump” for this one.

Should have been more offerings by now.

Nah. Doughnuts have nothing to do with Christmas.

why, they’re holey.

ChrispenEvan said:

roughbarked said:

Bubblecar said:

“bump” for this one.

Should have been more offerings by now.

Nah. Doughnuts have nothing to do with Christmas.

why, they’re holey.

You can have a point for that. :)

That’s the trouble with doughnuts, once you’ve done the hole, there’s not much else to work with.

Bubblecar said:

That’s the trouble with doughnuts, once you’ve done the hole, there’s not much else to work with.

I have not eaten a doughnut in a very very very very long time.

monkey skipper said:

Bubblecar said:

That’s the trouble with doughnuts, once you’ve done the hole, there’s not much else to work with.

I have not eaten a doughnut in a very very very very long time.

i ate some on the last coles order. I won’t be doing it again soon.

Not many people know that the “proof” is a coin produced in order to test a die. These are also produced in significant runs now and sold to collectors, perversely for higher prices than the face value. It was traditional in England to include thrupence or sixpence in a Christmas pudding: it was considered to mean good luck in the year ahead for the finder. Regular households just used ordinary circulated coins but fancy aristocrats could afford to use a proof, so “proof is in the pudding” indicates that the finder will have a very lucky year indeed.

dv said:

Not many people know that the “proof” is a coin produced in order to test a die. These are also produced in significant runs now and sold to collectors, perversely for higher prices than the face value. It was traditional in England to include thrupence or sixpence in a Christmas pudding: it was considered to mean good luck in the year ahead for the finder. Regular households just used ordinary circulated coins but fancy aristocrats could afford to use a proof, so “proof is in the pudding” indicates that the finder will have a very lucky year indeed.

okay. That works for me.

dv said:

Not many people know that the “proof” is a coin produced in order to test a die. These are also produced in significant runs now and sold to collectors, perversely for higher prices than the face value. It was traditional in England to include thrupence or sixpence in a Christmas pudding: it was considered to mean good luck in the year ahead for the finder. Regular households just used ordinary circulated coins but fancy aristocrats could afford to use a proof, so “proof is in the pudding” indicates that the finder will have a very lucky year indeed.

Well that sounds great but proof of the pudding doesn’t indicate a finder will have good luck, it means that the pudding can only be checked by eating it, ie the proof of something is testing th end product.

AwesomeO said:

dv said:

Not many people know that the “proof” is a coin produced in order to test a die. These are also produced in significant runs now and sold to collectors, perversely for higher prices than the face value. It was traditional in England to include thrupence or sixpence in a Christmas pudding: it was considered to mean good luck in the year ahead for the finder. Regular households just used ordinary circulated coins but fancy aristocrats could afford to use a proof, so “proof is in the pudding” indicates that the finder will have a very lucky year indeed.

Well that sounds great but proof of the pudding doesn’t indicate a finder will have good luck, it means that the pudding can only be checked by eating it, ie the proof of something is testing th end product.

(rubs temples)

AwesomeO said:

dv said:

Not many people know that the “proof” is a coin produced in order to test a die. These are also produced in significant runs now and sold to collectors, perversely for higher prices than the face value. It was traditional in England to include thrupence or sixpence in a Christmas pudding: it was considered to mean good luck in the year ahead for the finder. Regular households just used ordinary circulated coins but fancy aristocrats could afford to use a proof, so “proof is in the pudding” indicates that the finder will have a very lucky year indeed.

Well that sounds great but proof of the pudding doesn’t indicate a finder will have good luck, it means that the pudding can only be checked by eating it, ie the proof of something is testing th end product.

Yes.

I think puns are not meant to be the same as encyclopedia entries.

the pudding was a sausage like dish, not what we think of as an xmas pud.

dv said:

I think puns are not meant to be the same as encyclopedia entries.

Sorry, didn’t realise you were doing a pun.

AwesomeO said:

dv said:

I think puns are not meant to be the same as encyclopedia entries.

Sorry, didn’t realise you were doing a pun.

Yeah fair enough, there’s really no indication that there would be puns in this thread, especially not those related to solid sustenance or the Yule.

Arts is probably at a obscenely expensive restaurant in Lygon Street eating a very small portion of food on a huge plate with a creative drizzle of exotically named sauce served by some punced up waiter in a Gadhafi hat.

When I think of “puns”, the word “doughnuts” is not the first that comes to mind.

I’ll give it some thought, first doughnut related puns, then I’ll see of I can weave any of these into a Christmas carol.

Let’s start with “doughnut” being a pun for “do not” and “don’t”.

Reminds me of the Lord’s Prayer.
Our Father in leaven, hollowed be your name. Your crispy come, your will be done, on jam as it is in leaven. Give us this day our daily doughnut, and forgive us our sins, as we also have forgiven our sinners. And doughnut lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Doughnut related words would include these?
bun, sweet, roll, dunk, pastry, danish, deli, jam, sugar

But not all of these?
jelly, fresh, hot, more, fried, many, stale, few, free, homemade, powdered, old, sugared, filled, best, greasy, delicious, warm, big, covered, real, plain, raised, sugary, fat, tiny, brown, made, enough, french, twisted, huge, round, sweet, frosted, favorite, chinese, miniature, peruvian, soggy, fry, crispy, wonderful, nice, leftover, baked, tough, assorted, excellent, giant, famous, glazed, cooked, shaped, frozen, busy, freshly, crisp, rich, tasty, fashioned, coated, damn, square, plastic, celebrated, extra, golden, inevitable, gooey, yeast, fewer, nutty, gigantic

Some christmas carols.

Deck the halls with Danish cherry
tra la la la la, la la la la
Tis the season to be merry.

Good King Wenceslas looked out. On the feast of Stephen
There were doughnuts all about. Deep and crisp and even.

(Not doing very well).

Silent Bite

Silent bite, holey bite
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon doughnut is Mother and Child
Holey pastry so tender and mild
Eat a heavenly piece
Eat a heavenly piece

(That’s better)

The Holey and the Ivy

The holey and the ivy,
When they are both full grown,
Of all pastries in the wood,
The holey bears the crown

O, the rising of the bun
And the running of the jam
The playing of the merry organ,
Sweets singing in the choir.

(Not so good)

Have Yourself a Merry Little Doughnut

Have yourself a merry little doughnut
Let your heart be light
From now on
our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little doughnut
Make the Yule-tide gay
From now on
our troubles will be miles away

(Too simple?)

O Crisp Pastry

O crisp pastry, O crisp pastry,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!
O crisp pastry, O crisp pastry,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

For every year the crisp pastry,
Brings to us all both joy and glee.
O crisp pastry, O crisp pastry,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

You did OK mollwoll. Clearly you have a far greater passion fot doughnuts than I do and you seem to know your Lord’s prayer and Christmassy stuff better than I’d ever care to.

mollwollfumble said:

Silent Bite

Silent bite, holey bite
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon doughnut is Mother and Child
Holey pastry so tender and mild
Eat a heavenly piece
Eat a heavenly piece

(That’s better)

The Holey and the Ivy

The holey and the ivy,
When they are both full grown,
Of all pastries in the wood,
The holey bears the crown

O, the rising of the bun
And the running of the jam
The playing of the merry organ,
Sweets singing in the choir.

(Not so good)

Have Yourself a Merry Little Doughnut

Have yourself a merry little doughnut
Let your heart be light
From now on
our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little doughnut
Make the Yule-tide gay
From now on
our troubles will be miles away

(Too simple?)

O Crisp Pastry

O crisp pastry, O crisp pastry,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!
O crisp pastry, O crisp pastry,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

For every year the crisp pastry,
Brings to us all both joy and glee.
O crisp pastry, O crisp pastry,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

Good work.

I got as far as:

Hole-y nuit
Do-oh-oh nuit

then got stuck.

A few more bytes came to mind, not as good.

Wee bakings of orient are
Bearing gifts we travel afar

I saw three ships come sailing in
A crisp pastry, a crisp pastry
I saw three ships come sailing in
A crisp pastry in the morning

Out on the plains the bakers are dancing
Lifting their feet like warhorses prancing
Faint in the dawn light echoes their singeing
Rise up the bun so the shoppers go bingeing
Orana! Orana! Orana to crisp pastry.

(getting better)

I assume you already know the one that Tom Lehrer made famous:

Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy

I’m dreaming of a white doughnut
Just like the ones I used to know

(OK, got that out of my system)

Long time ago in bakery
So the holy bible say
Mary’s boy child Jesus Christ
Is baking bun today

Hark now hear the angels sing
Listen to what they say
Mary’s boy child Jesus Christ
Is baking bun today

(Hmm)

Away in a manger
No crib for His bed
The little Lord Jesus
Is eating sweet bread

()

God rest you merry, gentlemen,
Let nothing you dismay,
Remember crispy pasteries
And buns on Christmas Day

()

Joy to the world! the doughnut’s come;
Let earth receive baking;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
and heaven and nature sing,
and heaven and nature sing,
and heaven, and heaven and nature sing.

()

Oh! You better watch out,
you better not cry,
you better not pout,
I’m telling you why:
Doughnut King is coming to town!

()

We wish you a Merry crispbread;
We wish you a Merry crispbread;
We wish you a Merry crispbread and a Happy New Year.

()

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
in the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
we’re happy tonight,
dunking Doughboy’s doughnuts in desert.

()

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
A Santa Claus made of pastry.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Two custard tarts
and a Santa Claus made of pastry.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Three French buns, two custard tarts
and a Santa Claus made of pastry.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Four cookie cakes, three French buns, two custard tarts
and a Santa Claus made of pastry.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Five baclavas.
Four cookie cakes, three French buns, two custard tarts
and a Santa Claus made of pastry.

(I swear that’s the last one, no more)

(I lied)

Gin-laced Torte

Gin-laced torte gin-laced torte gin torte all the way
Oh what fun it is to eat a gin torte every day.
Gin-laced torte gin-laced torte gin torte all the way
Oh what fun it is to eat a gin torte every day.

Icing on the go
Lighting spirits bright
Oh what fun it is to eat a gin torte every night

Not food any more

Jingle bells = Gin-girl belles
How I like to ride …

Another pun, but this one totally musical, not verbal.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know.
Where the gum trees are growin’
And the Murrumbidgee’s flowin’
Beneath the sunny sky.
Oh my mother and daddy are waitin’ for me
And the pals of my childhood once more I will see
And no more will I roam ‘cos I’m headin’ right for home
Along the road to Gundagai.

mollwollfumble said:

Not food any more

Jingle bells = Gin-girl belles
How I like to ride …

Another pun, but this one totally musical, not verbal.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know.
Where the gum trees are growin’
And the Murrumbidgee’s flowin’
Beneath the sunny sky.
Oh my mother and daddy are waitin’ for me
And the pals of my childhood once more I will see
And no more will I roam ‘cos I’m headin’ right for home
Along the road to Gundagai.

I like what happened there.