Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been a while between drinks, but welcome back to Australia’s summer of cricket…

the WACA pitch seems to have a touch of green, could be a good toss to win…

diddly-squat said:

the WACA pitch seems to have a touch of green

they might as well paint white stripes down the middle. It will be a road.

diddly-squat said:

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been a while between drinks, but welcome back to Australia’s summer of cricket…

the WACA pitch seems to have a touch of green, could be a good toss to win…

The bowlers are going to need a green top, looks like they’re only using two wickets.

Peak Warming Man said:

The bowlers are going to need a green top, looks like they’re only using two wickets.

They are called stumps…just saying.

party_pants said:

!https://cdndata.bigfooty.com/2016/11/306180_e8bdf2b5b743fcec8ea107ea173bdff6.jpg

If you had posted that an hour ago I would have printed it out and given it to Mr Arts, who will be attending today (as he does every year)

lables? that is not an official bingo card, it is a cheap forgery…

Arts said:

party_pants said:

!https://cdndata.bigfooty.com/2016/11/306180_e8bdf2b5b743fcec8ea107ea173bdff6.jpg

If you had posted that an hour ago I would have printed it out and given it to Mr Arts, who will be attending today (as he does every year)

I only just saw it myself. At another forum (yes, Holidayers – I am unfaithful)

The Boer Trekers have won the toss and elected to bad.

Good first over.

.. now back to werk :(

Fuck Off

Fuck Off

the station apologises for the slight delay in telecast

sibeen said:

Fuck Off

Fuck Off

the station apologises for the slight delay in telecast

phew

There’s no shutting Hazlewood down.

Peak Warming Man said:

There’s no shutting Hazlewood down.

boom tish

Peak Warming Man said:

There’s no shutting Hazlewood down.

he’s smokin’

FUCK OFF

Siddle to Duminy…. given out… under review…

overturned or not??

decision stands…

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

good to see Sidds still rolling the arm over…

he must be as old as sibeen these days…

ooops

FUCK OFF

bump.

FUCK OFF

Yarpies all out for 242.

that’s only 5, count them, 5 wickets.

technical difficulties

Oz 0/105 at the end of the day’s play. I think Australia won on the day.

‘triffic day for Australia. Exceeded my expectations by quite some :)

party_pants said:

‘triffic day for Australia. Exceeded my expectations by quite some :)

Agree with that :)

That lbw off a no ball probly set up the innings.

Fuck

“Never been out in the nineties. “

Ian said:

Fuck

“Never been out in the nineties. “

Bummer.

Fuck

Fuck

Smith lb

Oh dear. Smith LBW for a duck.

Once you cut off the head of the snake(Smith) the tail will die.
Well according to the Boer Trekkers.

Peak Warming Man said:

Once you cut off the head of the snake(Smith) the tail will die.
Well according to the Boer Trekkers.

Where does a snake’s body end and its tail begin?

Peak Warming Man said:

Once you cut off the head of the snake(Smith) the tail will die.
Well according to the Boer Trekkers.

3/173 The snake has only had a nose job.

dv said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Once you cut off the head of the snake(Smith) the tail will die.
Well according to the Boer Trekkers.

Where does a snake’s body end and its tail begin?

You only need to worry about the bitey head bit.

Ian said:

dv said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Once you cut off the head of the snake(Smith) the tail will die.
Well according to the Boer Trekkers.

Where does a snake’s body end and its tail begin?

You only need to worry about the bitey head bit.

With pythons it’s the tail. You have to stop then locking it onto a coil so they can crush you.

dv said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Once you cut off the head of the snake(Smith) the tail will die.
Well according to the Boer Trekkers.

Where does a snake’s body end and its tail begin?

The tail is the bit that extends past its bum.

Bubblecar said:

dv said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Once you cut off the head of the snake(Smith) the tail will die.
Well according to the Boer Trekkers.

Where does a snake’s body end and its tail begin?

The tail is the bit that extends past its bum.

fair

Bubblecar said:

dv said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Once you cut off the head of the snake(Smith) the tail will die.
Well according to the Boer Trekkers.

Where does a snake’s body end and its tail begin?

The tail is the bit that extends past its bum.

I think the scientific term is ‘poo hole’.

Marsh is gone.

WT FUCK!

This is turning into a match.

Witty Rejoinder said:

Bubblecar said:

dv said:

Where does a snake’s body end and its tail begin?

The tail is the bit that extends past its bum.

I think the scientific term is ‘poo hole’.

That’s anus way of saying it.

Witty Rejoinder said:

Bubblecar said:

dv said:

Where does a snake’s body end and its tail begin?

The tail is the bit that extends past its bum.

I think the scientific term is ‘poo hole’.

Or rather “anal pore”.

Marsh, M: LBW on zero. Shown how by Smith, S, Captain.

I think Mitch may be playing his last test for a while.

What are they doing? Seems like snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Michael V said:

What are they doing? Seems like snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Looks a little like that, Siddle can bat though can’t he?

pommiejohn said:

Michael V said:

What are they doing? Seems like snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Looks a little like that, Siddle can bat though can’t he?

Some times Siddle goes OK. Nevill can bat reasonably, too.

Neville: SIX.

Michael V said:

Neville: SIX.

Swiftly followed by…

pommiejohn said:

Michael V said:

Neville: SIX.

Swiftly followed by…

Yeah… (Out.)

Michael V said:

pommiejohn said:

Michael V said:

Neville: SIX.

Swiftly followed by…

Yeah… (Out.)

Looks suss.. no bat on it.

pommiejohn said:

Michael V said:

pommiejohn said:

Swiftly followed by…

Yeah… (Out.)

Looks suss.. no bat on it.

Hmmm. Ah well. The two previous reviews were wasted.

We still still might end up with a lead!

Ian said:

We still still might end up with a lead!

By one so far, but we are at the end of the tail.

Michael V said:

Ian said:

We still still might end up with a lead!

By one so far, but we are at the end of the tail.

Just one more run before the loss of the final wicket. Australia lead by two runs.

SA’s second innings starts after tea.

GOORRRRNN!

Lead of tchoo.

daffuq?

Pop out to make me a coffee and go to the loo and we’re all out already :(

Way to snatch defeat form the jaws of victory, guys.

party_pants said:

daffuq?

Pop out to make me a coffee and go to the loo and we’re all out already :(

Way to snatch defeat form the jaws of victory, guys.

At least there’s a contest…

party_pants said:

daffuq?

Pop out to make me a coffee and go to the loo and we’re all out already :(

Way to snatch defeat form the jaws of victory, guys.

The Boer Trekkers have to wipe out their first innings deficit before they can even think about posting a target for us.

I expect they will, at some stage.

Oh, seems they have now.

VD Philander might come down with something nasty.

We got one.

Ian said:

We got one.

He’s off to Cook dinner I think.

Tchooo

Ian said:

Tchooo

Tishoo tishoo, they all fall down?

Feral ferrets from farms frequently fairly fuck fragile forest fauna.

Peak Warming Man said:

Feral ferrets from farms frequently fairly fuck fragile forest fauna.

10ƒ?

They’ve reach 100 runs ahead.

“Umpire Aleem Dar gave Smith out, but the Australian captain immediately reviewed, having come so far down the wicket, but ball-tracking deemed Smith out by umpire’s call – with the ball projected to only shade the top of leg stump.”

Surely if the ball shaded the stump it was somewhere between the sun and the stumps.

Steyn was diagnosed with “a fracture of the coracoid process of the right shoulder.”
Team manager Dr Mohammed Moosajee confirmed that Steyn will be called upon to bat, “if absolutely necessary”. A decision on whether to call up a replacement is yet to be made.

Ian said:

Steyn was diagnosed with “a fracture of the coracoid process of the right shoulder.”

what’s that in layman’s terms?

party_pants said:

Ian said:

Steyn was diagnosed with “a fracture of the coracoid process of the right shoulder.”

what’s that in layman’s terms?

Sore shoulder.

party_pants said:

Ian said:

Steyn was diagnosed with “a fracture of the coracoid process of the right shoulder.”

what’s that in layman’s terms?

Shoulder fucked.

party_pants said:

Ian said:

Steyn was diagnosed with “a fracture of the coracoid process of the right shoulder.”

what’s that in layman’s terms?

Sook.

party_pants said:

Ian said:

Steyn was diagnosed with “a fracture of the coracoid process of the right shoulder.”

what’s that in layman’s terms?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coracoid_process

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

Ian said:

Steyn was diagnosed with “a fracture of the coracoid process of the right shoulder.”

what’s that in layman’s terms?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coracoid_process

Ya. Obviously meant to say “a fracture of the coracoid process of the right scapula”.

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

Ian said:

Steyn was diagnosed with “a fracture of the coracoid process of the right shoulder.”

what’s that in layman’s terms?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coracoid_process

sounds ouchy

The question before this test match was weather or not Australia could continue their Sri Lankan form through into this series against South Africa and I think the answer is a resounding ye.

Peak Warming Man said:

The question before this test match was weather or not Australia could continue their Sri Lankan form through into this series against South Africa and I think the answer is a resounding ye.

It’s been a stormy performance.

Peak Warming Man said:

The question before this test match was weather or not Australia could continue their Sri Lankan form through into this series against South Africa and I think the answer is a resounding ye.

:)

bummer – might go play in shed.

Duminy dropped in the deep on 107.

:(

Duminy out for 141. Caught behind (on review).

They’ve got 300 now. Bloody.

FUCK OFF

sibeen said:

FUCK OFF

oic the crickets on again and sibeen is using his catch-cry again…

This thread is quicker than the ABC cricket blog.
But in fairness my connection is pants.

5/346

Great catch, Usman!

Michael V said:

5/346

Great catch, Usman!

Australia is slowly closing the gate but the horse is nowhere to be seen.

Peak Warming Man said:

Michael V said:

5/346

Great catch, Usman!

Australia is slowly closing the gate but the horse is nowhere to be seen.

I have some bolts here.

I’m following the cricket here but my insightful comments never get an airing.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-11-05/australia-v-south-africa-first-test-day-three-live-blog/7997938

Woohoo I got a comment posted.

Peak Warming Man said:

I’m following the cricket here but my insightful comments never get an airing.

perhaps they were too inciteful?

Peak Warming Man said:

Woohoo I got a comment posted.

well done :)

dropped – didn’t get anywhere near it

But next ball: du Plessis caught behind.

gottim

Right where we want them!

sibeen said:

Right where we want them!

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.. haa

Jaysus.

sibeen said:

Jaysus.

please refrain from these spurious comments as we can’t tell what is going on.

We are doing a lot better now.

England 9/247

Ian said:

We are doing a lot better now.

Yet we have to break the record for a run chase.

Well, that’s not going to assist, Dave.

Michael V said:

Well, that’s not going to assist, Dave.

Neither will that, Marsh S.

2/52.

Michael V said:

Michael V said:

Well, that’s not going to assist, Dave.

Neither will that, Marsh S.

2/52.

Uzzy!

Don’t scare us like that.

Michael V said:

Well, that’s not going to assist, Dave.

Should never happen in a test match in these circumstances.
Still, amazing fielding.

Ian said:

Michael V said:

Well, that’s not going to assist, Dave.

Should never happen in a test match in these circumstances.
Still, amazing fielding.

Yes, yes it was!

time for Sunday afternoon cricket & cider :)

SA are using the cracks well.

Michael V said:

SA are using the cracks well.

Big opportunity for UK to be a hero

piss :(

dv said:

Michael V said:

SA are using the cracks well.

Big opportunity for UK to be a hero

I suspect he’‘ need a chat with Mephistopheles.

no chance now.

Voges’s batting average is rapidly descending from the stratosphere

party_pants said:

no chance now.

:(

Ah well they live to fight another day.

I would think the Aussies have about a 10% chance of saving the match.

dv said:

Ah well they live to fight another day.

I would think the Aussies have about a 10% chance of saving the match.

I don’t think they’e got much over 300 in them.

rubs hands in glee

Right where we want them.

party_pants said:

dv said:

Ah well they live to fight another day.

I would think the Aussies have about a 10% chance of saving the match.

I don’t think they’e got much over 300 in them.

saving, not winning

sibeen said:

rubs hands in glee

Right where we want them.

have you tried a little gumption?

dv said:

party_pants said:

dv said:

Ah well they live to fight another day.

I would think the Aussies have about a 10% chance of saving the match.

I don’t think they’e got much over 300 in them.

saving, not winning

they don’t have it within them to bat out the day for a draw either.

party_pants said:

dv said:

party_pants said:

I don’t think they’e got much over 300 in them.

saving, not winning

they don’t have it within them to bat out the day for a draw either.

That’s the spirit

Australia haven’t lost a wicket in over 50 minutes!

sibeen said:

Australia haven’t lost a wicket in over 50 minutes!

Bloody amazing!

Wait…

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-11-06/atheist-christian-minister-gretta-vosper-wants-to-stay-in-church/7997028

I do so scratch my head.

So I predict that Aust will bat out a heroic draw with a world record low run rate…

It’s just the sort of thing we’re good at…

diddly-squat said:

So I predict that Aust will bat out a heroic draw with a world record low run rate…

It’s just the sort of thing we’re good at…

Yeah..

Or at least hang around long enough for the rain to arrive.

Ian said:

diddly-squat said:

So I predict that Aust will bat out a heroic draw with a world record low run rate…

It’s just the sort of thing we’re good at…

Yeah..

Or at least hang around long enough for the rain to arrive.

There is no significant chance of rain today.

Certainly I think they should take this seriously and play for a draw: if nothing else it will be good practice, and they have (I estimate) about a 10% chance of succeeding in forcing the draw.

Ian said:

diddly-squat said:

So I predict that Aust will bat out a heroic draw with a world record low run rate…

It’s just the sort of thing we’re good at…

Yeah..

Or at least hang around long enough for the rain to arrive.

Like is it going to rain, man?

dv said:

Ian said:

diddly-squat said:

So I predict that Aust will bat out a heroic draw with a world record low run rate…

It’s just the sort of thing we’re good at…

Yeah..

Or at least hang around long enough for the rain to arrive.

There is no significant chance of rain today.

Certainly I think they should take this seriously and play for a draw: if nothing else it will be good practice, and they have (I estimate) about a 10% chance of succeeding in forcing the draw.

They’ll be all out for less than 70 runs.

Tamb said:

dv said:

Ian said:

Yeah..

Or at least hang around long enough for the rain to arrive.

There is no significant chance of rain today.

Certainly I think they should take this seriously and play for a draw: if nothing else it will be good practice, and they have (I estimate) about a 10% chance of succeeding in forcing the draw.

They’ll be all out for less than 70 runs.

I’ll bet they make 70 runs or more (extends hand to be shaken)

dv said:

Tamb said:

dv said:

There is no significant chance of rain today.

Certainly I think they should take this seriously and play for a draw: if nothing else it will be good practice, and they have (I estimate) about a 10% chance of succeeding in forcing the draw.

They’ll be all out for less than 70 runs.

I’ll bet they make 70 runs or more (extends hand to be shaken)

In the second Test maybe.

Peak Warming Man said:

Ian said:

diddly-squat said:

So I predict that Aust will bat out a heroic draw with a world record low run rate…

It’s just the sort of thing we’re good at…

Yeah..

Or at least hang around long enough for the rain to arrive.

Like is it going to rain, man?

Meteor strike… Rain of toads…

….The Windows 10 Analyser updates itself and takes out all systems… sprinklers go off… stuff explodes…

Don’t know why you are all panicking; we still haven’t lost a wicket today.

sibeen said:

Don’t know why you are all panicking; we still haven’t lost a wicket today.

You don’t reckon a Windows 10 update would be likely hurt anything?

Ian said:

sibeen said:

Don’t know why you are all panicking; we still haven’t lost a wicket today.

You don’t reckon a Windows 10 update would be likely hurt anything?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BncHC_tL1E4

One of the best runouts we’ve ever seen.

Must make Warner feel a little better.

roughbarked said:

One of the best runouts we’ve ever seen.

Must make Warner feel a little better.

Damn.

So far so good.

paces up and down

Peak Warming Man said:

So far so good.

paces up and down

Uh-oh.

Marsh, M down, LBW. Brilliant bowling.

Michael V said:

Peak Warming Man said:

So far so good.

paces up and down

Uh-oh.

Marsh, M down, LBW. Brilliant bowling.

Grandstand blog says ‘contentious’

Peak Warming Man said:

Michael V said:

Peak Warming Man said:

So far so good.

paces up and down

Uh-oh.

Marsh, M down, LBW. Brilliant bowling.

Grandstand blog says ‘contentious’

As contentious as a storm in a tea cup.

Bavuma!

Uzzy.

:(

FUCK

I reckon we can hold the fort for a least an hour and then with any luck that coastal rain…..

He’s gone coastal.

Ian said:

I reckon we can hold the fort for a least an hour and then with any luck that coastal rain…..

what coastal rain would that be… Madagascar?

party_pants said:

Ian said:

I reckon we can hold the fort for a least an hour and then with any luck that coastal rain…..

what coastal rain would that be… Madagascar?

Broome in WA.. that Broome

Up to you p_p: start the rain ASAP.

Michael V said:

Up to you p_p: start the rain ASAP.

Sorry, going to be busy at work for the rest of the afternoon. Not much time for rain dancing.

I think their bowlers are flagging.

rubs hands

sibeen said:

I think their bowlers are flagging.

rubs hands

and by flagging you mean waiving the RSA flag in sense of impending victory?

seems Nevill is playing the sort of innings we needed the top order batsmen to play…

I think Siddle’s lbw might have been too low, might have been going under.

Peak Warming Man said:

I think Siddle’s lbw might have been too low, might have been going under.

Nice one

Ian said:

I reckon we can hold the fort for a least an hour and then with any luck that coastal rain…..

Whereas exactly are you thinking this match is being played?

dv said:

Tamb said:

dv said:

There is no significant chance of rain today.

Certainly I think they should take this seriously and play for a draw: if nothing else it will be good practice, and they have (I estimate) about a 10% chance of succeeding in forcing the draw.

They’ll be all out for less than 70 runs.

I’ll bet they make 70 runs or more (extends hand to be shaken)

Pay up

Nine down.
So many positives for the team to take out of this match in the overall washup going forward.

dv said:

Ian said:

I reckon we can hold the fort for a least an hour and then with any luck that coastal rain…..

Whereas exactly are you thinking this match is being played?

I know, I know..
Expect next rain in April

Maybe if Spidercam does a loop the loop, breaks and crashes down braining someone….

Ian said:

Maybe if Spidercam does a loop the loop, breaks and crashes down braining someone….

In the end, nothing could save them.

It shouldn’t have ended liked that if a few of our players had even slightly engaged their brains.

All of the batsmen should now form a circle and proceed to repeatedly and forcefully kick the coit of the man in front.

Ian said:

It shouldn’t have ended liked that if a few of our players had even slightly engaged their brains.

All of the batsmen should now form a circle and proceed to repeatedly and forcefully kick the coit of the man in front.

:)

Ian said:

It shouldn’t have ended liked that if a few of our players had even slightly engaged their brains.

All of the batsmen should now form a circle and proceed to repeatedly and forcefully kick the coit of the man in front.

And thwow them to the gwond vewy woughly.

Have you watched any Tatort, buffy? IIRC you speak German.

<sigh> That shouldn’t be here. Sorry.

Another 5 minutes or so and we’ll see these scoundrels off.

Peak Warming Man said:

Ian said:

It shouldn’t have ended liked that if a few of our players had even slightly engaged their brains.

All of the batsmen should now form a circle and proceed to repeatedly and forcefully kick the coit of the man in front.

And thwow them to the gwond vewy woughly.

I’m wery depressed when I see anything that looks like woughy, used in wain.

btm said:

<sigh> That shouldn’t be here. Sorry.

Steve Smith said that about his dismissal. He started like a Captain should.. Looking clumsy in defence because he wanted to stay there for a couple of days no matter the runs. it was the way Steve Waugh would have approached it. However, he let himself down by doing exactly the opposite of his job by losing his wicket. The most important wicket of the innings.