Under 24 hours to the toss.
rubs hands

I’ll get things started.

FUCK OFF

Divine Angel said:

I’ll get things started.

FUCK OFF

And that’ll get the ball rolling.

Rolling like an under-arm worm raper.

Bowled by a Chappell…

The only comment Alex the estate agent made about my house was “I see you’ve got your TV set up ready for Thursday!”

I had no idea what he was talking about.

Bubblecar said:

The only comment Alex the estate agent made about my house was “I see you’ve got your TV set up ready for Thursday!”

I had no idea what he was talking about.

Big episode of Home and Away… he can see you’re a fan..

“For more than a decade, Shaun Marsh has been Australian selectors’ eczema, an itch they can neither leave alone nor clear up.”

Malcolm Knox

———-

Harsh

Fair

What’s the score?

Woodie said:

What’s the score?

22-18 in the Victorian Legislative Assembly.

Woodie said:

What’s the score?

At least 7

Woodie said:

What’s the score?

20

party_pants said:

Woodie said:

What’s the score?

At least 7

Eleventy 7?

party_pants said:

Woodie said:

What’s the score?

At least 7

Four score and 7?

Woodie said:

What’s the score?

Three nil? Well done girls!

Woodie said:

party_pants said:

Woodie said:

What’s the score?

At least 7

Four score and 7?

Four n 20.

sibeen said:

Woodie said:

party_pants said:

At least 7

Four score and 7?

Four n 20.

Four n against? Four he’s a jolly good fellow?

Two hour warning.

England win the toss and have elected to collap…………..I mean to bat.

time to get your Ashes on, people…

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

diddly-squat said:

FUCK OFF

They’ve only just applied sunscreen and tied the laces of their cricket shoes, and they’re already being told to FUCK OFF.

Bubblecar said:

diddly-squat said:

FUCK OFF

They’ve only just applied sunscreen and tied the laces of their cricket shoes, and they’re already being told to FUCK OFF.

it’s on the sign when they arrive

Unusual gabba first day wicket, a bit slow.
Be interesting to see what Lynon does with it, he wont be far away.

#Real Peak Warming Man

Covers are on the pitch, sad.

I take it that we’re all watching the golf?…

• I take it that we’re all watching the golf?

Haven’t gotten over watching the passat yet…

I don’t think the aussies will do very well..

tuffnell looks like he’s in form…

50 for Vince.
This bloke can play.

Dropped catch, Tim Paine.
Oh dear.

Peak Warming Man said:

Dropped catch, Tim Paine.
Oh dear.

He’s no Gilly…

Peak Warming Man said:

Dropped catch, Tim Paine.
Oh dear.

Hope they don’t get the women’s disease. Four dropped catches lost them the game.

Oh, the paine!

FUCK OFF

2/142 @ 58 overs is not the collapse we had hoped for…

FUCK OFF

are you on delayed telecast Ian?

Stumpy_seahorse said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Dropped catch, Tim Paine.
Oh dear.

He’s no Gilly…

One wonders why they picked him.

Stumpy_seahorse said:

are you on delayed telecast Ian?

More or less… been skipping through most of the day time shifting.

What an amazing run out by Lyon!

Ian said:

Stumpy_seahorse said:

are you on delayed telecast Ian?

More or less… been skipping through most of the day time shifting.

What an amazing run out by Lyon!

yeah, both your wicket posts were about 4.5 minutes after mine, thought it was a bit of a coincidence.

Lyon is looking good bowling and fielding so far

FUCK OFF QUICK!

He’s rooted.

Ian said:

FUCK OFF QUICK!

Some of the language in this thread has been atrocious.

New ball!

appealed against the light.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-24/the-ashes-if-id-caught-you-lyon-we-wouldnt-feel-this/9187040?section=sport

Dunno what that headline is supposed to mean.
I’m a pretty switched on dude and I can see it’s an attempt at a play on words, lyon and pain but it still doesn’t make any sense.

Two quick wickets, poms struggling to make 300.

That’s theee quick wickets and Broad is looking uncomfortable.

And there’s a resplendent roster of Richies in today.

Bugger off Bairstowe

Into the tail.

9 down and Jimmy Anderson comes in.
There’s a reason Jimmy bats at number eleven.

Not a great start by Australai.
2/30
Bancroft -: Fail
Kawaja -: Fail

Peak Warming Man said:

Not a great start by Australai.
2/30
Bancroft -: Fail
Kawaja -: Fail

Sings “Poor ol Kwaja he never got a run”

Tamb said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Not a great start by Australai.
2/30
Bancroft -: Fail
Kawaja -: Fail

Sings “Poor ol Kwaja he never got a run”

They were talking on the radio yesterday about crowd sledging
Justin Langer is not very tall and when he was in England and fielding on the boundary the crowd would start very softly at first to sing “Hi ho Hi ho it’s off to work we go………………………………….

Does DV know that the ABC is streaming the cricket on the radio?

You bar stewards better get your act togdther..
I leave you for 1 day and look what happens…

I suspect that one of my younger brothers is enjoying the cricket. That’s hime, front left, in a pub next to the Gabba last evening.

BASTARD

FUCK

sibeen said:

FUCK

Jeez sibeen…
You get here and we lose a wicket..

Fuck off again

sibeen said:

I suspect that one of my younger brothers is enjoying the cricket. That’s hime, front left, in a pub next to the Gabba last evening.

BASTARD

Bin there. Cuppla times. With Mrs V and Woodie (et al). But for the footy. Once was the first match for the Gold Coast. Very noisy place.

sibeen said:

I suspect that one of my younger brothers is enjoying the cricket. That’s hime, front left, in a pub next to the Gabba last evening.

BASTARD

I’ve bin in that pub. :)

FUCK

Brother is really taking the piss now.

sibeen said:

Brother is really taking the piss now.

Who’s that?

Peak Warming Man said:

sibeen said:

Brother is really taking the piss now.

Who’s that?

Damien Flemming. Brother on the left.

sibeen said:

Peak Warming Man said:

sibeen said:

Brother is really taking the piss now.

Who’s that?

Damien Flemming. Brother on the left.

Ah yes.

FUCK

Starc starts out slowly with a tentative six over the bowlers head.

Peak Warming Man said:

Starc starts out slowly with a tentative six over the bowlers head.

Only to be caught and bowled Broad, next ball…

Michael V said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Starc starts out slowly with a tentative six over the bowlers head.

Only to be caught and bowled Broad, next ball…

This English attack too good?

roughbarked said:

Michael V said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Starc starts out slowly with a tentative six over the bowlers head.

Only to be caught and bowled Broad, next ball…

This English attack too good?

It’s an absorbing contest.

at last!

Great ton.

sibeen said:

Great ton.

Yes.

FUCK

FUCK

sibeen said:

FUCK

You may use this if you like

So all square near enough.
Nasty session for England.
Cook wont last long.

Peak Warming Man said:

So all square near enough.
Nasty session for England.
Cook wont last long.

Ignore all that.

Peak Warming Man said:

Peak Warming Man said:

So all square near enough.
Nasty session for England.
Cook wont last long.

Ignore all that.

FUCK

All out for 328. Lead of 26.

sibeen said:

FUCK

All out for 328. Lead of 26.

James Vince, who made 83 in the first innings, had a previous top score of 42 from 11 innings. It’s a wonder he got an Ashes berth.

I reckon Zarkov could spin a ball further than Moen Ali.

Cook will be out before they wipe out the deficit.
He’s just a shadow of his former self.
Like an old boxer fighting on instinct and thinking he’s still got it.

Peak Warming Man said:

Cook will be out before they wipe out the deficit.
He’s just a shadow of his former self.
Like an old boxer fighting on instinct and thinking he’s still got it.

They say you should throw your boxers out every year.

good catch

Peak Warming Man said:

Cook will be out before they wipe out the deficit.

good prediction.

Told ya.

FUCK OFF

sibeen said:

FUCK OFF

Vince.

sibeen said:

FUCK OFF

You may use it if you like

Root got a run.

Totals level

Stumps, England lead by seven, day three done.
Australia well on top.

rubs hands

Peak Warming Man said:

rubs hands

:)

Mr Stoneman, leave the field immediately, sir!

Eng: 3/62 (effectively 3/36).

snigger

Tops catch by Smith.

FUCK OFF

Many, many minutes late, sibeen.

Michael V said:

Many, many minutes late, sibeen.

Delayed telecast for the first session.

FUCK OFF

sibeen said:

FUCK OFF

Much better.

;)

off ya go son

FUCK OFF

You put your leg before the wicket, Mr Root, so, Joe, please leave the field of play. Stand not upon the order of they going, but go. Go at once. Do not tarry.

If my name was Mr Root I’m pretty sure I’d be wanting to change it.

They ——————> thy

Bubblecar said:

If my name was Mr Root I’m pretty sure I’d be wanting to change it.

I heard of a woman, surname Root & her parents in a moment of stupidity christened her Marion.
Marion Root is not a nice name.

Fat lady.

Tamb said:

Bubblecar said:

If my name was Mr Root I’m pretty sure I’d be wanting to change it.

I heard of a woman, surname Root & her parents in a moment of stupidity christened her Marion.
Marion Root is not a nice name.

Ermagard would not be a good first name either.

Peak Warming Man said:

Fat lady.

I don’t think she’s sung yet.

Michael V said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Fat lady.

I don’t think she’s sung yet.

Yes she has. :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb7nwoQVkQE

be on your way

tough call that, only a mm in it.

FUCK OFF

Mr Ali, please leave.

FUCK OFF

sibeen said:

FUCK OFF

Still … it’s a total

depart you swine!

FUCK OFF

Leave the field via the indicated exits.

what’s the score?

Stumpy_seahorse said:

what’s the score?

Eng 8 fer 195, overall lead of 169

8/195. Lead by 169.

cheers

9 fer now

but I don’t think that was out.

FUCK OFF

party_pants said:

9 fer now

but I don’t think that was out.

That’s the second time today that you’ve shown a twinkling of sportsmanship.

Don’t you realise that this is the bloody English we’re playing?

party_pants said:

9 fer now

but I don’t think that was out.

Sure it was, check the score card…

Looks like another good result for pollsters in Qld, who appear to have been right on the money.

FUCK OFF

All out 195, Australia need 170 to win.

sibeen said:

party_pants said:

9 fer now

but I don’t think that was out.

That’s the second time today that you’ve shown a twinkling of sportsmanship.

Don’t you realise that this is the bloody English we’re playing?

Yeah, I know.

party_pants said:

All out 195, Australia need 170 to win.

:)

Excellent!

:)

:)

:)

Australia all out for 135.

party_pants said:

9 fer now

but I don’t think that was out.

There was the faintest nick, witnessed by the faintest of hot spots.

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

9 fer now

but I don’t think that was out.

There was the faintest nick, witnessed by the faintest of hot spots.

I didn’t see it on the replay until they zoomed up on it. By then I had already hit submit.

dv said:

Australia all out for 135.

Maybe some time in the past. However the fourth innings of this test is yet to be played.

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

9 fer now

There was the faintest nick,

party_pants said:

Michael V said:

party_pants said:

9 fer now

but I don’t think that was out.

There was the faintest nick, witnessed by the faintest of hot spots.

I didn’t see it on the replay until they zoomed up on it. By then I had already hit submit.

Ha!

I also thought there’d been a bad decision. Until the zoom.

170 to win.

OK make your pick.
How many wickets will Australia lose chasing the 170.
DV says 10.
I’ll say 3

There’s a Super Choc Cornetto up for grabs here.

Peak Warming Man said:

OK make your pick.
How many wickets will Australia lose chasing the 170.
DV says 10.
I’ll say 3

There’s a Super Choc Cornetto up for grabs here.

7 down

Peak Warming Man said:

OK make your pick.
How many wickets will Australia lose chasing the 170.
DV says 10.
I’ll say 3

There’s a Super Choc Cornetto up for grabs here.

4

Peak Warming Man said:

OK make your pick.
How many wickets will Australia lose chasing the 170.
DV says 10.
I’ll say 3

There’s a Super Choc Cornetto up for grabs here.

I’ll pass I think…

if it were for a golden gaytime however…

Peak Warming Man said:

OK make your pick.
How many wickets will Australia lose chasing the 170.
DV says 10.
I’ll say 3

There’s a Super Choc Cornetto up for grabs here.

4 for.

Michael V said:

Peak Warming Man said:

OK make your pick.
How many wickets will Australia lose chasing the 170.
DV says 10.
I’ll say 3

There’s a Super Choc Cornetto up for grabs here.

4 for.

I see roughie’s already claimed this.

5 for.

Anderson’s getting some swing there.

Ha! Ball hid under the rope padding. Fielder couldn’t find it.

:)

Michael V said:

Ha! Ball hid under the rope padding. Fielder couldn’t find it.

:)

Should be 7 runs for that

Bet you’re glad the ABC is streaming the cricket on the radio, DV.

The poms are already whinging about the ball. Just likewhat happened in Australia’s first innings.

Bogsnorkler said:

Bet you’re glad the ABC is streaming the cricket on the radio, DV.

What nonsense are you talking?

Michael V said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Bet you’re glad the ABC is streaming the cricket on the radio, DV.

What nonsense are you talking?

conflabulatory.

Bogsnorkler said:

Michael V said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Bet you’re glad the ABC is streaming the cricket on the radio, DV.

What nonsense are you talking?

conflabulatory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmcrlvNPTJw

Bogsnorkler said:

Michael V said:

Bogsnorkler said:

Bet you’re glad the ABC is streaming the cricket on the radio, DV.

What nonsense are you talking?

conflabulatory.

Oh, the “I didn’t mean it” defence?

a little while ago DV wanted to know if any abc radio was broadcasting the cricket. he got some replies that it was being stream via the internet. then he says he wanted to listen to it in the car. and he knew of the internet service.

It’s nunfa.

This fat lady is ready to sing

She’s ready for her close up, Mr DeMille.

Will they need the fifth day?

Woodie said:

Will they need the fifth day?

Yes.

Quite cloudy here, but apparently there is zero chance of rain

Anderson back on??????????

Foolish captaincy.

Michael V said:

Woodie said:

Will they need the fifth day?

Yes.

I may be wrong…

Aus 0/101. Need 69.

Now Broad. Very strange.

Michael V said:

Michael V said:

Woodie said:

Will they need the fifth day?

Yes.

I may be wrong…

Aus 0/101. Need 69.

don’t we all…

Stumpy_seahorse said:

Michael V said:

Michael V said:

Yes.

I may be wrong…

Aus 0/101. Need 69.

don’t we all…

‘ere. I want a nice clean thread. None of your smut, lad.

Stumpy_seahorse said:

Michael V said:

Michael V said:

Yes.

I may be wrong…

Aus 0/101. Need 69.

don’t we all…

Correct.

sibeen said:

Stumpy_seahorse said:

Michael V said:

I may be wrong…

Aus 0/101. Need 69.

don’t we all…

‘ere. I want a nice clean thread. None of your smut, lad.

Well, maybe this partnershop can go all the way.

sibeen said:

Stumpy_seahorse said:

Michael V said:

I may be wrong…

Aus 0/101. Need 69.

don’t we all…

‘ere. I want a nice clean thread. None of your smut, lad.

fuck off

Bugger, I’ve been Pietersened.

Woodie said:

Will they need the fifth day?

I’m calling Yes.

Aus: 0/114 at stumps.

56 runs required.

:)

Michael V said:

Aus: 0/114 at stumps.

56 runs required.

:)

Buggeer, I have to go to work. Can’t stay and watch the end of the match.

roughbarked said:

Michael V said:

Aus: 0/114 at stumps.

56 runs required.

:)

Buggeer, I have to go to work. Can’t stay and watch the end of the match.

Press record?

sibeen said:

Woodie said:

Will they need the fifth day?

I’m calling Yes.

Looks like the ayes have it.

Woodie said:

sibeen said:

Woodie said:

Will they need the fifth day?

I’m calling Yes.

Looks like the ayes have it.

eye-eye

Looking back over that first innings.. I reckon the Smith lad is one to watch…

Nah… he’s freak… the batsman of his era imo. That was an almost faultless display. Wow!

I thought after the first day’s play it would end up in a fairly close finish even though the poms had a sub-par total..

Still.. It’s a funny old game :)

Ian said:

Looking back over that first innings.. I reckon the Smith lad is one to watch…

Nah… he’s freak… the batsman of his era imo. That was an almost faultless display. Wow!

I thought after the first day’s play it would end up in a fairly close finish even though the poms had a sub-par total..

Still.. It’s a funny old game :)

Poms are rogered.
No quality spinner, main pace attack is old.
Wont win a test on this tour.

I can’t wait for the re-commencement of play.

:)

Peak Warming Man said:

Ian said:

Looking back over that first innings.. I reckon the Smith lad is one to watch…

Nah… he’s freak… the batsman of his era imo. That was an almost faultless display. Wow!

I thought after the first day’s play it would end up in a fairly close finish even though the poms had a sub-par total..

Still.. It’s a funny old game :)

Poms are rogered.
No quality spinner, main pace attack is old.
Wont win a test on this tour.

Oh they’re rogered alright.. couldn’t be moore rogered

:)

Ian said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Ian said:

Looking back over that first innings.. I reckon the Smith lad is one to watch…

Nah… he’s freak… the batsman of his era imo. That was an almost faultless display. Wow!

I thought after the first day’s play it would end up in a fairly close finish even though the poms had a sub-par total..

Still.. It’s a funny old game :)

Poms are rogered.
No quality spinner, main pace attack is old.
Wont win a test on this tour.

Oh they’re rogered alright.. couldn’t be moore rogered

:)

snigger

Michael V said:

Ian said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Oh they’re rogered alright.. couldn’t be moore rogered

:)

snigger

Oooh, I missed Ian’s little funny there.

AUS win.!

:)

No one selected 0 wickets in the sweep.
As a consequence it will carry over to the Adelaide test and the prize will jackpot.

YAAAAYY!

A crushing defeat for the Poms. Their Barmy Army tried to put us off with their silleeee singing and horn blowing and knees bent running around…

….ppppppppppppppppphttttt..

:)

Ian said:

YAAAAYY!

A crushing defeat for the Poms. Their Barmy Army tried to put us off with their silleeee singing and horn blowing and knees bent running around…

….ppppppppppppppppphttttt..

:)

I still thought the poms did well nough to make the game interesting.

Peak Warming Man said:

No one selected 0 wickets in the sweep.
As a consequence it will carry over to the Adelaide test and the prize will jackpot.

wow.

actually I did tne in later in the day and suggested that this partnership should finish it off but I won’t count that.

Seems my strategy of forecasting a humiliating Aust lost has spurred them to victory.

You’re welcome.

Media disappointed at lack of outrage from assault victim.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-27/smith-suffers-giggles-as-bancroft-details-headbutt-incident/9197370

Peak Warming Man said:

Media disappointed at lack of outrage from assault victim.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-27/smith-suffers-giggles-as-bancroft-details-headbutt-incident/9197370

I’m not sure whether I am disappointed by the lack of outrage or outraged by the lack of disappointment.

say fuck all day.

sibeen said:

say fuck all day.

Didn’t…

sibeen said:

say fuck all day.

Um … why?

Peak Warming Man said:

Media disappointed at lack of outrage from assault victim.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-27/smith-suffers-giggles-as-bancroft-details-headbutt-incident/9197370

BANCROFT: Just whatever your imagination pictures it as, is probably what it would be. I think. I didn’t wake up … he didn’t knock me over. I’ve actually got the heaviest head in the Western Australian squad.
It’s been measured. There’s actually a measurement for it. So uh, yeah, just took the blow quite well and moved on from it.

Yeah. It was a good hit. Play on.

*Here, Smith begins to giggle uncontrollably

——-

Laugh.. we almost shat

Ian said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Media disappointed at lack of outrage from assault victim.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-27/smith-suffers-giggles-as-bancroft-details-headbutt-incident/9197370

BANCROFT: Just whatever your imagination pictures it as, is probably what it would be. I think. I didn’t wake up … he didn’t knock me over. I’ve actually got the heaviest head in the Western Australian squad.
It’s been measured. There’s actually a measurement for it. So uh, yeah, just took the blow quite well and moved on from it.

Yeah. It was a good hit. Play on.

*Here, Smith begins to giggle uncontrollably

——-

Laugh.. we almost shat

That was seriously funny. C Bancroft has now cemented his place on the team.

Michael V said:

Ian said:

Peak Warming Man said:

Media disappointed at lack of outrage from assault victim.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-27/smith-suffers-giggles-as-bancroft-details-headbutt-incident/9197370

BANCROFT: Just whatever your imagination pictures it as, is probably what it would be. I think. I didn’t wake up … he didn’t knock me over. I’ve actually got the heaviest head in the Western Australian squad.
It’s been measured. There’s actually a measurement for it. So uh, yeah, just took the blow quite well and moved on from it.

Yeah. It was a good hit. Play on.

*Here, Smith begins to giggle uncontrollably

——-

Laugh.. we almost shat

That was seriously funny. C Bancroft has now cemented his place on the team.

You’d hope so. He has the best Test batting average of anyone in the side.

Peak Warming Man said:

No one selected 0 wickets in the sweep.
As a consequence it will carry over to the Adelaide test and the prize will jackpot.

Excellent, how early can we make our selection?