Best have a thread for it, otherwise buffy and kii will be hassling us all night about the bloody score.

Australia won the toss and have elected to bat.

Currently 0/10. Warner 5, Bancroft 5.

FUCK

Bancroft out for 5, caught behind.

Aus 1/15.

:(

Didn’t I just say that?

Michael V said:

Bancroft out for 5, caught behind.

Aus 1/15.

:(

oh dear that’s a shame. and he looked so good too.

sibeen said:

Didn’t I just say that?

Your commentary was sadly lacking in detail, so I added a bit.

Michael V said:

sibeen said:

Didn’t I just say that?

Your commentary was sadly lacking in detail, so I added a bit.

You have to excuse his Tourettes I’m afraid.

It’s not on the radio, bastards.

Peak Warming Man said:

It’s not on the radio, bastards.

Online

http://www.abc.net.au/radio/player/?station=itinerant_three

Michael V said:

sibeen said:

Didn’t I just say that?

Your commentary was sadly lacking in detail, so I added a bit.

You have to read between the lines.

Peak Warming Man said:

It’s not on the radio, bastards.

Surely channel 9 are showing it, supporters of all things cricket that they are.

ROFL – I crack myself up sometimes.

sibeen said:

Michael V said:

sibeen said:

Didn’t I just say that?

Your commentary was sadly lacking in detail, so I added a bit.

You have to read between the lines.

I tried, but couldn’t. There being only one line.

sibeen said:

Peak Warming Man said:

It’s not on the radio, bastards.

Surely channel 9 are showing it, supporters of all things cricket that they are.

ROFL – I crack myself up sometimes.

Tease!

Oh dear. two-for.

2/39

Khawaja gone for 14.

Michael V said:

Oh dear. two-for.

2/39

Khawaja gone for 14.

Enter the Smith the Worthy.

FUCK

Dare I say it?
Yes I will, Smudge is looking dangerous.

golf clap

Well done, Mr Warner. 50 up.

2/91.

Warner gone, 3/95 at lunch.

Sa on top.

What is a yarpie?

The name may be occasionally used as a mildly derogative ethnic slur or nickname for (particularly white, rural) South Africans, in which instance it is also spelt as it is pronounced: yarpie. This comes from the Afrikaans term plaasjapie, meaning “farm boy”.

FUCK

I went to tea about 3 balls early.

FUCK

sibeen said:

FUCK

I went to tea about 3 balls early.

FUCK

Luncheon. It’s known as Luncheon. Tea is the mid-afternoon break. You know – afternoon tea.

sibeen said:

FUCK

I went to tea about 3 balls early.

FUCK

FUCK

Worse than the SAffer commentators.

FUCK

Michael V said:

sibeen said:

FUCK

I went to tea about 3 balls early.

FUCK

Luncheon. It’s known as Luncheon. Tea is the mid-afternoon break. You know – afternoon tea.

I went to tea. I stated that above. Learn to read!

stomps off, kicks at dirt

JudgeMental said:

The name may be occasionally used as a mildly derogative ethnic slur or nickname for (particularly white, rural) South Africans, in which instance it is also spelt as it is pronounced: yarpie. This comes from the Afrikaans term plaasjapie, meaning “farm boy”.

Oh. I will immediately forget that then.

sibeen said:

Michael V said:

sibeen said:

FUCK

I went to tea about 3 balls early.

FUCK

Luncheon. It’s known as Luncheon. Tea is the mid-afternoon break. You know – afternoon tea.

I went to tea. I stated that above. Learn to read!

stomps off, kicks at dirt

you should get the missus to vacuum that up.

JudgeMental said:

sibeen said:

Michael V said:

Luncheon. It’s known as Luncheon. Tea is the mid-afternoon break. You know – afternoon tea.

I went to tea. I stated that above. Learn to read!

stomps off, kicks at dirt

you should get the missus to vacuum that up.

snigger

Right…we’re back. I’ve finished my tea and the players have finished their lunch. The second session has started and Smith spanks a 4 as a digestive.

AUS 3/121 – Smith 46, S Marsh 4

World cup qualifying matches are also being played.

The West Indies (remember them) have just made 115 all out against the might of the United Arab Emirates. UAE are currently 1/25.

sibeen said:

World cup qualifying matches are also being played.

The West Indies (remember them) have just made 115 all out against the might of the United Arab Emirates. UAE are currently 1/25.

Sad.

Marsh is playing a dour knock.
But it’s what’s needed at this stage.

Peak Warming Man said:

sibeen said:

World cup qualifying matches are also being played.

The West Indies (remember them) have just made 115 all out against the might of the United Arab Emirates. UAE are currently 1/25.

Sad.

Their best players are privateers these days and making a good living from tournament cricket.

The canny Scots have made 239 off their 50 overs against the might of Ireland.

FUCK

sibeen said:

FUCK

No, really…FUCK

To expand on sibeen’s minimalist comment:

Smith out for 56.

AUS 4/151

S Marsh 24

sibeen said:

sibeen said:

FUCK

No, really…FUCK

That’s what you said, so there’s no need to say “No” as if disagreeing with yourself.

PLAY HAS BEEN CALLED DUE TO BAD LIGHT. AUSTRALIA 5-225 (M.Marsh 32*, Paine 21*)

And that rounds out another excellent day’s commentary.

Good night.

JudgeMental said:

The name may be occasionally used as a mildly derogative ethnic slur or nickname for (particularly white, rural) South Africans, in which instance it is also spelt as it is pronounced: yarpie. This comes from the Afrikaans term plaasjapie, meaning “farm boy”.

There many Japie Van Der Merwe jokes.

Tamb said:

JudgeMental said:

The name may be occasionally used as a mildly derogative ethnic slur or nickname for (particularly white, rural) South Africans, in which instance it is also spelt as it is pronounced: yarpie. This comes from the Afrikaans term plaasjapie, meaning “farm boy”.

There many Japie Van Der Merwe jokes.

Oops There are many Japie Van Der Merwe jokes.

Tamb said:

Tamb said:

JudgeMental said:

The name may be occasionally used as a mildly derogative ethnic slur or nickname for (particularly white, rural) South Africans, in which instance it is also spelt as it is pronounced: yarpie. This comes from the Afrikaans term plaasjapie, meaning “farm boy”.

There many Japie Van Der Merwe jokes.

Oops There are many Japie Van Der Merwe jokes.

I remember him, toured with a SA side in the early sixties, Eddie Barlow, Colin Bland were also in that side.

Makes me remember what some comedians have said about Cricket.

Stilgoe (1977) “Lillian Thomson, Australia’s fast bowling pair”
(If you find the lyrics please post here).

The Goodies (1976) Episode “2001 and a bit”
“now violence is boring itself, the crowds need Something genuinely boring. Something authentically totally tedious. Something mind-bogglingly, rivetingly, excruciatingly pointless and dull! … Cricket!”

Douglas Adams (2003)
“Only the English could possibly revive the memory of the most horrific wars ever to sunder the Universe and transform it into what I’m afraid is generally regarded as an incomprehensibly dull and pointless game.”

mollwollfumble said:

Makes me remember what some comedians have said about Cricket.

Stilgoe (1977) “Lillian Thomson, Australia’s fast bowling pair”
(If you find the lyrics please post here).

The Goodies (1976) Episode “2001 and a bit”
“now violence is boring itself, the crowds need Something genuinely boring. Something authentically totally tedious. Something mind-bogglingly, rivetingly, excruciatingly pointless and dull! … Cricket!”

Douglas Adams (2003)
“Only the English could possibly revive the memory of the most horrific wars ever to sunder the Universe and transform it into what I’m afraid is generally regarded as an incomprehensibly dull and pointless game.”

“His throw went absolutely nowhere near where it was going.” ~ Richie Benaud.

mollwollfumble said:

Makes me remember what some comedians have said about Cricket.

Stilgoe (1977) “Lillian Thomson, Australia’s fast bowling pair”
(If you find the lyrics please post here).

The Goodies (1976) Episode “2001 and a bit”
“now violence is boring itself, the crowds need Something genuinely boring. Something authentically totally tedious. Something mind-bogglingly, rivetingly, excruciatingly pointless and dull! … Cricket!”

Douglas Adams (2003)
“Only the English could possibly revive the memory of the most horrific wars ever to sunder the Universe and transform it into what I’m afraid is generally regarded as an incomprehensibly dull and pointless game.”

Stilgoe (1977) “Lillian Thomson”

“Every morning on the radio the news comes from Australia
The English batsmen once again have had a ghastly failure
Twas Lillian Thomson’s bowling once again caused the collapse
I always thought test cricket was intended just for chaps

“But Lillian Thomson, is Australia’s finest flower
A maiden bowling overs at a hundred miles an hour
She’s the fastest lady bowler that the world has ever seen
Her bumpers are inspiring and her language far from clean.

“Just imagine the reaction of Gooch or Gower or Gatty
When this six foot sheelah runs out, no wonder they hate batting
She has rammed him on the ankles then she hit him on the forehead
If she finds the happy medium she could hurt him something horrid.

“She’s Lillian Thomson, the first of crickets dames
A mixture of Rolf Harris, Joe Sullivan and Clive James
Don’t let Lillian Thomson bowl at you underarm
Because under Lillian Thomson’s arm it’s like a chicken farm

“This terrifying lady what’s more is quite a looker
No wonder she demoralises of every English hooker
No wonder every time the pommy batting strength she trounces
Would you like facing up to Lillian Thomson’s massive bouncers?

“Lillian Thomson, a terrifying sight
Some times she swings them to the left, some times to the right
Some times you have to duck as they whistle through the air
In Lillian Thomson Australia you have the World’s best opening pair.”

roughbarked said:

“His throw went absolutely nowhere near where it was going.” ~ Richie Benaud.

Oh dear, yes. There are very many hilarious Richie Benaud sayings. Probably well known because people actually listened to him.

mollwollfumble said:

roughbarked said:

“His throw went absolutely nowhere near where it was going.” ~ Richie Benaud.

Oh dear, yes. There are very many hilarious Richie Benaud sayings. Probably well known because people actually listened to him.

If you think about it and apply it to my posts, you’d probably hazard a guess that he was on the money.

FUCK

6/244

Paine gone, I read…

…between the lines :)

Not between your lines, but here:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-02/south-africa-v-australia-first-test-day-two-live-blog/9502100

Pat cummins gone.

7/251

FUCK

Starc’s not going to die wondering…

Mitch March has made 50.

G’donim.

Starc – 6.

25 off 15 balls.

:)

FUCK

Lunch 8/300

A bit under par but we’ll see..

Tea…a hamburger.

Ian said:

Lunch 8/300

A bit under par but we’ll see..

I was just about to say, oh well at least they’ve reached 300.

snigger.

Marsh – I never doubted you.

This may not be true.

FUUUUUUUCK

Mitch Marsh out for 96.

sibeen said:

FUUUUUUUCK

Mitch Marsh out for 96.

Nice dig

FUCK

All out 351.

sibeen said:

FUCK

All out 351.

At least they made 350.

and one.

Cough.

2/27 Onya GOAT!

Someone needs to dismiss Mr de Villiers, before he get in fully.

Michael V said:

Someone needs to dismiss Mr de Villiers, before he get in fully.

C’mon!

Someone do it!

Markram gone. For 32.

SA 3/55 at tea.

Michael V said:

Markram gone. For 32.

SA 3/55 at tea.

Australia’s favourite Nathan has two of them.

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

Had to go pick up sprog from a party that was on the other side of town. Sorry for the delay in reporting.

sibeen said:

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

Had to go pick up sprog from a party that was on the other side of town. Sorry for the delay in reporting.

(PHEW)

I was concerned that you’d been killed by some gun-toting Trump supporter.

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF

Our 351 is not looking so bad, Saffers 5/108

FUCK OFF

STUMPS
Sith Erfrika all out 162
The Sith Losers lost their last five for 12 runs in six-and-a-bit overs as Starc tore it up… trail by 189.

Ian said:

STUMPS
Sith Erfrika all out 162
The Sith Losers lost their last five for 12 runs in six-and-a-bit overs as Starc tore it up… trail by 189.

Go, you good things.

:)

Michael V said:

Ian said:

STUMPS
Sith Erfrika all out 162
The Sith Losers lost their last five for 12 runs in six-and-a-bit overs as Starc tore it up… trail by 189.

Go, you good things.

:)

Sounds good. Might listen to it on the radio today.

Michael V said:

Ian said:

STUMPS
Sith Erfrika all out 162
The Sith Losers lost their last five for 12 runs in six-and-a-bit overs as Starc tore it up… trail by 189.

Go, you good things.

:)

That is good news to start the day

Looks like I went to be about 10 minutes early.

FUCK

OFF?

Michael V said:

OFF?

No. I was pissed off that I stayed up most of the night and then left about 10 minutes early.

sibeen said:

Michael V said:

OFF?

No. I was pissed off that I stayed up most of the night and then left about 10 minutes early.

Ah.

Just checked.

I missed 6 bloody overs!

Really hoping for double figures for Bancroft today…

party_pants said:

Really hoping for double figures for Bancroft today…

I wasn’t going to say a word. The chance of a moz is way too high; but you’ve stuffed that right up. i expect he’ll be walking to the pavilion within an over or so.

NZ just lost to the Poms by 4 runs in their one dayer.

FUCK

FUCK

piss, fart and shit.

I’m going to peel potatoes instead.

party_pants said:

piss, fart and shit.

I’m going to peel potatoes instead.

Make sure you wash your hands first after that display.

W00T!! 51 for Bancroft.

I am a happiness toy :)

FUCK

knocks off bails. Time for lunch. Or a stubbie.

Some people may even have their tea.

sibeen said:

knocks off bails. Time for lunch. Or a stubbie.

Some people may even have their tea.

I was away having dinner.

Comfort foods for mains followed by comfort food for dessert.

have they been off for rain or something? Score has hardly moved since lunch.

There was much excitement about that review on Smudge when Oz already has close to what should be a winning lead. At the same time there is discussion around the GOATs in our side.. Smudge, Lyon, the bowling quartet.. andwhether or not it would it be a better contest if the match were to be suddenly reduced to a 4 day contest??

It’s a funny old game.

party_pants said:

have they been off for rain or something? Score has hardly moved since lunch.

They have put the brakes on. If Smith was as Machiavellian as Steve Waugh this would have been done for a purpose. In this case I suspect the bowling has just tightened up a tad.

FUCK ….but there may yet be a change…standby.

sibeen said:

party_pants said:

have they been off for rain or something? Score has hardly moved since lunch.

They have put the brakes on. If Smith was as Machiavellian as Steve Waugh this would have been done for a purpose. In this case I suspect the bowling has just tightened up a tad.

Maybe if they are expecting the pitch to wear a bit. They have a goodish lead already. No point in pushing on and building a lead quickly and declaring. Instead bat slow and hog the best pitch conditions for yourself so the opposition start their chase on a pitch as worn as possible..

maybe??

sibeen said:

FUCK ….but there may yet be a change…standby.

Nope…we are going to have to stay with the FUCK

bummer

the FUCK

FUCK

I’m a bit of a nervous-getter now

She’ll be right

party_pants said:

I’m a bit of a nervous-getter now

The game is probably already safe, but I will be happier if we can nurdle out another runs from the last .

sibeen said:

party_pants said:

I’m a bit of a nervous-getter now

The game is probably already safe, but I will be happier if we can nurdle out another runs from the last .

Insert a ‘100’ where appropriate.

Bloody keyboard.

sibeen said:

party_pants said:

I’m a bit of a nervous-getter now

The game is probably already safe, but I will be happier if we can nurdle out another runs from the last .

I think at least 400 ahead

party_pants said:

sibeen said:

party_pants said:

I’m a bit of a nervous-getter now

The game is probably already safe, but I will be happier if we can nurdle out another runs from the last .

I think at least 400 ahead

Just wait until we unleash the GOAT!

FUCK

364 T

Uh -oh.

FUCK

slowly creeping to 400 lead

.. only another 16 needed

Uh-oh. Starc gone. For seven.

FUCK

AUS 8/207

Lyon 0

Cummins 17

AUS Lead: 396

400 lead up.

…and that is stumps. Bad light sends the players off.

I’d like to see another 20 or 30 runs.

Peak Warming Man said:

I’d like to see another 20 or 30 runs.

Australia all out for 217.

417 needed by SA.

All out, a lead of 416, I’d like to see more of course but it should be enough.

I think Lyon will be in the attack soon, the Yarpies have got off to a rollicking start.

The Boer trekker is gone, SA two fer.

three fer.

four fer

five fer

… stay on target

5/167 at tea.

Wonder if they can force it into a last day.

party_pants said:

5/167 at tea.

Wonder if they can force it into a last day.

Sefrica are seemingly indomitable and refractory at the moment. If the Markram nut is cracked, I think the rest will fall though.

A couple of overs ago Markram gets up off the dirt to bring up his century.

The Sith 5/252 .. needing another 165

M Marsh gets the annoying Markram for 143. Nice catch by Paine.

6/283

Starc gets Philander

127 needed

:)

Starc on a hat trick

9 fer

>Starc on a hat trick..

But taken off due to bad light

STUMPS
Called due to bad light.
Sith need 124.. Oz 1

As recent history has shown the wicket in Durban is Poison for the home side.

Ian said:

As recent history has shown the wicket in Durban is Poison for the home side.

Is Bothham there handing it out?

Bump.

Michael V said:

Bump.

ta.

Only 1 wicket required

Blog:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-05/south-africa-v-australia-first-test-in-durban-day-five-live-blog/9510302

And probably, for sound (although something else is on now):

http://radio.abc.net.au/stations/itinerant_three/live

Michael V said:

Blog:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-05/south-africa-v-australia-first-test-in-durban-day-five-live-blog/9510302

And probably, for sound (although something else is on now):

http://radio.abc.net.au/stations/itinerant_three/live

Yep, the internet radio has gone live. Play to start in about two or three minutes.

Michael V said:

Michael V said:

Blog:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-05/south-africa-v-australia-first-test-in-durban-day-five-live-blog/9510302

And probably, for sound (although something else is on now):

http://radio.abc.net.au/stations/itinerant_three/live

Yep, the internet radio has gone live. Play to start in about two or three minutes.

Well, not a hat trick…

YEAH…JUST FUCKING GO

YEAH…JUST FUCKING GO

The finger is up. De Kock reviewing.

LBW.

Aust win

Michael V said:

Aust win

Fuck we’re good!

:)

Reeeeeeee-sult!

:)

The Faffer… ““Spot on, they posted 50 runs too many”..
..his maths isn’t too great.

Oh dear, looks like Davey Warner is in the shit again.